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Arcademan:
TNA Victory Road PPV Results: 7-19-09

For complete description of matches, check out my blog at TOKYOPOP (link under my signature picture).

1 -- Knockouts champion TARA vs. ANGELINA LOVE (w/Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) -- Knockouts Title match

WINNER: Angelina in 7:00 to capture the Knockouts Title. Standard Knockouts match. Continues the storyline between Tara and Angelina playing hot potato over the KO Title.

2 -- MATT MORGAN vs. DANIELS
WINNER: Morgan in 11:00. There seemed to be a lack of psychology behind Morgan's offense, as it seemed like he was "just doing stuff" half the time. Daniels was solid playing to the crowd and selling the leg injury angle to give him an "out" for the clean loss. Forgettable undercard match. (*)

3 -- ABYSS vs. DR. STEVIE RICHARDS -- No DQ match
WINNER: Abyss in 10:00. Undercard stunt match / Abyss formula match. Seemed to end the Abyss-Stevie feud with Abyss showing he doesn't need therapy...by winning a wrestling match. Super stretch on getting a wrestling match out of this storyline. Next step seems to be a Daffney vs. Lauren stand-alone feud. (**)

4 -- IWGP tag champions TEAM 3D (BROTHER RAY & BROTHER DEVON) vs. BRITISH INVASION (DOUG WILLIAMS & BRUTUS MAGNUS w/Rob Terry) -- IWGP tag team champions
WINNERS: Team 3D in 10:00. By-the-book, going-through-the-motions tag match. Just there to give the fans a taste of what they wanted with 3D's usual spots. (*)

5 -- SHARMELL (w/Sojo Bolt) vs. JENNA MORASCA (w/Awesome Kong)
WINNER: Jenna in 5:00 painful minutes. Sharmell did everything possible to make this not the biggest waste of time ever, but this was possibly the worst match in TNA monthly PPV history. What an embarrassment that they actually tried to work a match here. Goodness gracious. (DUD)

6 -- Legends champion A.J. STYLES vs. KEVIN NASH -- Legends Title match
WINNER: Nash in 11:00 to capture the Legends Title. Okay singles match. Had some flurries of action throughout, but mainly a methodical match to limit Nash's movement in the ring. Styles "created enough movement" to have the best match thus far on the card. Interesting to see where they go with Styles from here. (**1/4)

7 -- TNA tag team champions BEER MONEY, INC. (ROBERT ROODE & JAMES STORM) vs. BOOKER T & SCOTT STEINER -- TNA tag title match
WINNERS: Steiner & Booker in 12:00 to capture the TNA tag titles. Slow-motion, use-the-bag-of-tricks tag match. The usual TNA triple play - outside interference, lack of application of rules, and referee incompetence. Match was okay, but brought down by the booking. Mafia continues to win titles, apparently leading to either Angle dropping the title in the main event after talking so sternly earlier in the show and being replaced or the Mafia having total dominance in TNA. (*1/2)

8 -- SAMOA JOE vs. STING
WINNER: Samoa Joe in 12:00. Match was going pretty well, then Taz came out and the crowd just didn't know how to react. Joe then lost his offensive momentum and the finish was thrown off. Anti-climatic debut for Taz, unfortunately. (**1/2)

9 -- TNA World Hvt. champion KURT ANGLE vs. MICK FOLEY
WINNER: Kurt Angle in 15:00 to retain the TNA World Title.

Arcademan:
WWE RAW Results: 7-20-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- U.S. champion KOFI KINGSTON & MVP & PRIMO COLON vs. JACK SWAGGER & CARLITO & BIG SHOW

Ring intros were abbreviated and the match started very quickly. Rushed match on our hands. After 1:20 of action, they cut to break with MVP in control.

Back from break, Cole reminded us this six-man tag is sponsored by Dave & Busters. In the ring, Swagger was working on Kofi. Big Show beat up wrestlers during the break, which prompted Cole to say Show was "feeding his fun" like D&B. Show entered the ring to work over Kofi, who took a knee drop to the chest followed by a frying pan-like chop to the chest. Carlito then tagged in and was distracted by Primo, allowing Kofi to break free and tag in Primo. Brother vs. Brother went in favor of Primo, who fired off a flurry of rights on Carlito before smashing him with a left-arm lariat. Primo was hot cleaning house, including Big Show. Primo then hit a second rope elbow smash, but Swagger broke up a pin. All heck broke loose leading to an MVP vs. Swagger brawl to the floor. Back in the ring, Carlito wanted the backstabber on Primo, but Primo ducked and Show accidentally speared Carlito. Kofi then gave Show a big spot head scissors over the top rope to the floor. Primo followed with a nice springboard leg drop on Carlito to score the pin for the win.

WINNERS: Team Primo at 9:15. That was a hot, hot match. Great conclusion with heavy focus on Primo, who had himself a nice moment in the sun. Big Show was used effectively to end the "feel good" moment to transfer the positive energy into major heat on him for the PPV build-up. Great match segment other than the younger stars looking weak at the end. Swagger is already getting lost in the shuffle and that sucks. (**1/2)

2 -- THE BRIAN KENDRICK vs. JERRY LAWLER

Bell sounded and Kendrick faked a hip injury to show Lawler is an old man. Kendrick mocked Lawler's Hall of Fame ring, prompting Lawler to punch him in the face. Apparently Kendrick missed Billy Graham's eBay auction. Kendrick then sat on Lawler's back and rode him into the corner before landing a flying fist smash. Lawler then made his trademark comeback with jabs before landing a dropkick. Lawler telegraphed a back body drop, though, and Kendrick kicked him in the chest before landing a flying dropkick. "You got nothing, King," Kendrick shouted. TBK wanted the Sliced Bread, but Lawler blocked and dropped a fist from the second rope. Cole added: "Vintage," of course. Lawler with the pin for the win.

WINNER: Lawler at 2:19. Interesting development with Lawler in the ring tonight in the middle of his Memphis mayor candidacy. Follow-up could be worth paying attention to. Match was fine as a "special attraction" filler to give TBK some TV focus tonight, even if he lost. (*)

3 -- MARK HENRY vs. CHRIS JERICHO

Bell sounded and Jericho bailed to the outside to take a breather. He was trying to frustrate Henry, who just paced around the ring waiting for Jericho to lock up. Henry eventually got Jericho on the mat and wanted a Vader Bomb, but Jericho took his knee out to begin working on the big man. Lawler revealed that Henry is working with a hurt ankle that Jericho was targeting. Henry then pulled out Claudio Castagnoli's Big Swing move after blocking the codebreaker. Henry played to the crowd, then Jericho dropped him to the mat. He wanted the Walls of Jericho, but Henry shoved him through the ropes to the outside. Henry followed out and Jericho jabbed a chair into his gut to cause a DQ.

Post-match: Jericho landed a follow-up chair shot to the back, then Henry shook it off and shoved Jericho into the announce table. Michael Cole took the brunt of the blow and Lawler told Cole to pick himself back up. Back in the ring, Jericho wanted the codebreaker, but Henry blocked and gave Jericho the World's Strongest Slam. Big men standing tall tonight. Henry did the "pose to each side of the arena" spot while Cole suggested Jericho needs to regroup to find his tag partner for Sunday.

WINNER: Henry via DQ at 5:20. I don't understand booking Jericho to look weak right now. WWE needs to be enhancing its top stars right now, not feeding them to big men who aren't going to be positioned as top main eventers. Match was fine with Jericho creating movement to make the match watchable. (*)

4 -- CHAVO GUERRERO vs. HORNSWOGGLE -- Sharp Dressed Man match

Chavo fell all over himself as Cole and Lawler did every penguin joke in the book. Hornswoggle took the jacket off, then mounted Chavo to take off the bowtie. Lawler suggested Hornswoggle used to be a model. Yeah, he saw him on a trophy once. Oh dear. Hornswoggle ripped off Chavo's shirt, but Chavo cut him off and whipped Hornswoggle with Horny's tuxedo jacket. Chavo then got tied up in the ropes and Hornswoggle slowly took off Chavo's tuxedo pants, revealing Chavo's boxer shorts. "Joe Boxer" received some promotional love. Horny then shoved Chavo through the ropes and Chavo covered up his crotch in embarrassment. Yet, wrestlers come to the ring in far less clothing completely confident with themselves. Oh well. Continue the Guerrero Family Embarrassment.

WINNER: Hornswoggle at 2:33. Just another silly match to continue taking out frustration with Vickie Guerrero by ridiculing Chavo. Kids surely loved it to justify continuing the program. (n/a)

5 -- KELLY KELLY & GAIL KIM vs. ALICIA FOX & ROSA MENDES

Gail tried a top rope missile dropkick on Alicia early on, but Alicia kicked her in the knee and Gail sold massive pain. She kicked out of a pin attempt, then Rosa tagged in to work on Gail. Kelly took a hot tag and landed an attempted Great Muta springboard elbow smash in the corner. Action broke down with Gail taking out Rosa on the floor with a plancha. In the ring, Alicia rolled up Kelly with a small package. Kelly was all over the ropes and the ref just kept on counting for a three count.

WINNERS: Alicia & Rosa at 3:40. Rough match with some flashes of looking half-way credible. Kelly stood out compared to the "developmental divas," while Gail continues to be an after-thought. (1/2*)

6 -- WWE champion RANDY ORTON & CODY RHODES & TED DIBIASE, JR. vs. TRIPLE H & JOHN CENA

Cena and Cody started things off with Cena exploding on Cody with a barrage of offense. Hunter quickly took a tag and entered to work on Cody. They set up the deal where the babyfaces cleared the heels out of the ring, Legacy regrouped on the floor, and they cut to break with Cena and Hunter in control.

Cena was in dire straights coming out of the break, according to Cole. Oh, how is he going to escape Legacy? Oh, he's in trouble! Oh, he made a hot tag to Hunter, who cleaned house. WWE presents Cole with no credibility on commentary. Cody then stomped Hunter and sent him to the outside where Orton sent Hunter head-first into the ring steps. Legacy began stomping and kicking and slapping and punching Hunter back in the ring while Cena tried to shout encouragement to Hunter.

Legacy continued to corner Hunter. They kept teasing the hot tag to Cena to build up the crowd heat before bringing it back down. Cody executed a snap DDT at 10:45 that brought in Orton to work over Hunter. Orton tried an RKO, but Hunter easily countered and hit the Spinebuster. Cena stared running up and down the ring apron begging for a hot tag and firing up the crowd. Hunter began his slow crawl across the desert to Cena, who took the tag at 12:12 after they milked the heck out of that. Cena exploded on Cody, who was the legal man, and set up the Five Knuckle Shuffle combo. Cena wanted the FU on Cody, but DiBiase came in to block. Cena threw him away, then slapped on the STFU in center ring on Cody. Cody held on and DiBiase broke it up. Hunter then took DiBiase to the outside and beat him up. Action everywhere. Orton took a tag and wanted The Punt on Cena, but Cena moved and rolled up Orton with a small package for the pin and the win.

Cole pointed out that Cena pinned the champion and could be champion on Sunday as "quick as that." Hunter and Cena got their hands raised in the ring and Orton seethed on the outside after taking the loss. Legacy joined Orton on the floor to share in their frustrations. Hunter scowled from inside the ring as the announcers recapped the finish of the match. Cena and Hunter shook hands center-ring as Cole talked about three of WWE's biggest stars clashing for the WWE Title on Sunday. End show.

WINNERS: Cena & Hunter at 13:33. Hot finish after the slow build-up to Cena's hot tag. High energy from Cena, who knows how to perform for a crowd. Nice finish to set up the PPV three-way title match, even if it's another repeat match following another repeat TV main event. WWE did its best to make viewers buy into the triple threat, even though Orton has zero credibility right now and there's no heat on the heel champion. We'll see what the PPV buys look like in a few months. (**1/2)

Arcademan:
ECW on SyFy Results: 7-21-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- YOSHI TATSU vs. WILLIAM REGAL

Regal needed a breather after Yoshi fired up on him early on. Regal, the crafty heel, then lured Yoshi into a false sense of bravado and went to work on his back and head. "Regal Sucks" was the chant from the crowd. Regal continued to methodically wear down Yoshi, who struggled for breath in a neck trap. Yoshi then fired up with a roundhouse kick and suggested he was going to make an impact with a top rope move. Regal cut him off, though, to screams from the kids seeing Yoshi in peril. (Great sign that Yoshi is catching on.) Regal then wanted the big knee lift of doom, but Yoshi ducked and caught Regal with a kick behind the ear. Regal sold it like he was shot in the head and Yoshi pinned him for the win. Cue up a lengthy post-match celebration for Yoshi.

WINNER: Yoshi in 6:00. Fans are buying into Yoshi big time right now. Solid outing for Yoshi, who was given an important win over Regal. Well done. WWE obviously sees what the fans see - an exciting babyface with a big upside. (*1/4)

2 -- EZEKIEL JACKSON vs. MIKE WILLIAMS

Zeke simply stared a hole through Mike and approached him for a giant clothesline. Zeke then stood over Mike's fallen body and nailed a chokeslam. Quick pin for the win.

Post-match: Kozlov's music hit as Ezekiel stood over Mike's body. Kozlov had an equally menacing scowl on his face. Zeke was puzzled but stayed firm. Kozlov stood over Mike Williams's body, then turned on a machine-like facial expression and gave him the Iron Curtain. Apparently Kozlov saw a potential tackling dummy and took advantage. He then turned around and marched right out of the ring.

WINNER: Ezekiel in 0:30. Well, you would think Kozlov would be plugged into the ECW Title match at the PPV since WWE basically booked Tommy Dreamer and Christian to look as weak as Randy Orton last week, but that doesn't appear to be the case, so they fed left-overs to Kozlov. (n/a)

3 -- GOLDUST vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN

Pace quickened with Goldust making a comeback and asking the fans to stick with him. "Come on, baby, let's go!" He delivered an atomic drop, then a bulldog for a two count. Goldy certainly showing more fire in recent weeks to audition for a permanent spot on TV. Goldust went for a left-arm clothesline, but left himself open for backbreaker across his knee. Shelton then went up top for a turnaround splash of sorts, but Goldust blocked with an uppercut...after an uncomfortable pause. Goldust tried to catch his breath near the ropes, but Shelton slingshot him across the top rope. Shelton followed with the Pay Dirt facebuster for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Shelton Benjamin in 5:00. Good win for Shelton. Good energy from both men. WWE has quickly erased that bogus ECW debut against Yoshi three weeks ago, fortunately. Hopefully he's in the main event picture after the PPV next week. (*1/2)

4 -- PAUL BURCHILL (w/Katie Lea) vs. TYLER REKS

Reks making his in-ring debut on ECW after a few losses on Superstars. Of note: where the heck is Zach Ryder tonight? Striker called him a "Dynamic Dude." Paging John Laurinaitis. Mathews: "Did you just call him a Dynamic Dude?" Pause. Pause. Pause. Striker muttered something under his breath. Burchill took control early on tried to ground Reks's nose into the mat throughout. Slow, methodical Burchill match. Reks then powered out of a chinlock and started throwing right elbows. He followed with a nice springboard dropkick showing good hang time (pun intended). Burchill came back with a rolling belly-to-back suplex for a two count. Pace quickening. Burchill then walked into a small package from Reks, who picked up his first TV victory. Burchill just doesn't win matches. Perhaps they'll build a losing streak program to where he ... Burchill blasted Reks post-match out of frustration. Reks fell to the floor and Burchill left standing tall at the end of the day.

WINNER: Reks in 6:00. Okay singles match. Reks had a nice, fiery comeback before picking up the win. Not sure what WWE is looking to do with Burchill, but at least he has a roster spot. (*)

The last segment of ECW was the Abraham Washington Show with Tommy Dreamer and Christian setting up for their match this weekend.

Arcademan:
WWE Superstars Results: 7-23-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- CHRISTIAN vs. WILLIAM REGAL

Regal aggressive early on with a side headlock. Christian then ran him through the ropes to the outside and tried a plancha, but Regal moved and Christian ate the floor. Back in the ring, Regal went back to a headlock. Christian countered, but Regal went back to a headlock. Regal focused on just wearing down the #1 contender. Christian came back with a back elbow smash, then wanted a Tornado DDT out of the corner, but Regal shoved him clear over the top rope to the floor. Christian sold it like a pro, then slowly made his way back into the ring where Regal blasted him again. Regal then punched him off the apron to the ground and Christian was sprawled out on the floor leading to break.

Back from break, Christian was trying to fight out of a standing stretch. He broke free, then both men knocked into each center ring and Christian went sprawling to the outside yet again. Ref reached a seven count, then Christian popped into the ring with the proverbial adrenaline rush to make a full comeback with a top rope missile dropkick for a two count. Regal then countered the Killswitch with a sweet overhead release suplex, but only scored a two count. Regal tried to finish off Christian, but Christian executed a sunset flip and trapped Regal's arms with his legs for a pinfall to win. Post-match: Announcers plugged Dreamer vs. Christian for the ECW Title at Night of Champions. Regal stood center-ring wanting another run at Christian, who caught his breath and sold the full effects of Regal's offense.

WINNER: Christian in 12:00. Typical Regal match where he has plenty of offense and shows aggressiveness, but ultimately loses the match. Not exactly a showcase for Christian before a PPV title match since he spent most of the match on the floor and dominated by Regal, but emphasis at the end was on Christian showing he can win a match some other way than using the Killswitch. Overall, solid TV match. (**1/4)

2 -- EVAN BOURNE vs. JAMIE NOBLE

Lawler: "Both men about evenly matched." In other words, Lawler thinks they're both short and look the same. Fast-paced action to start before Noble grounded Bourne to take away the high-flying. Noble went to work on Bourne, prompting Lawler filling in the time with redneck jokes. Bourne made a comeback and Lawler said Noble has the Krispy Kreme look of the glazed over eyes and spaghetti legs. Someone feed The King. Noble then bailed to the outside for a breather, but Bourne nailed him with a splash. Both men battled back into the ring where Noble nailed a superplex and made a cover, but Bourne kicked out in time. Bourne and Noble went to the apron where Bourne landed an enziguiri kick. Bourne then dialed up the Shooting Star Press and Lawler went "aaaaaaahhhh" as Bourne connected. Bourne with the pin for the win.

WINNER: Bourne in 5:00. I wonder ... When was the last name an under-sized wrestler was booked in a squash match? Apparently it's only reserved for big man. This was the perfect opportunity for Bourne. You have Jamie Noble, who hasn't been on TV for a while and hasn't won a match in an even longer time and hasn't been presented credibly to the audience in years, as the opposition, yet WWE still booked a straight-up singles match. Of course, there was heavy emphasis on Bourne and everyone knew he was going to win, but I just don't think he benefited much from this. They apparently don't know what to do with him, so they booked him in an easy-win singles match just to get him on TV. Here's an amazing talent on their hands and they - for whatever lame reason - don't know what to do with hin, so they have him in a holding pattern.

3 -- JOHN MORRISON vs. KANE

As expected, Kane took control early on with power offense overcoming high-flying. Kane grounded Morrison with a reverse chinlock and wore him down a bit. Morrison made it to his feet, then tried a barrage of strikes, but Kane flung him through the ropes to the floor. Repeat the Regal-Christian formula of the babyface Morrison on the floor going to a break.

Back from break, Kane was still in control working over Morrison's entire body. Head to toe coverage. Take away every body part. Make sure he can't even make the Batista Comeback. Morrison then made a comeback with three kicks to the chest and one to the head that put Kane on the mat. Morrison then covered up in the corner to avoid punches before catching Morrison with a trademark uppercut beneath the chin. Kane then teased a chokeslam, but Morrison slipped out and nailed the springboard Flying Chuck kick for a close nearfall. Crowd believed in a finish, but their hopes were dashed.

Kane then cut Morrison right off with a sidewalk slam for a two count of his own. He went up top for some reason and Morrison nailed him with A.J. Styles Pele kick to the head. Morrison then kicked Kane off the turnbuckle to the floor. Kane grabbed a steel chair off-camera and smashed Morrison in the gut as he came flying down for a splash. Ref called for a DQ. Morrison sold an arm injury, then Kane threw Morrison back into the ring and retrieved the chair. Great Khali's music hit, though, and Khali's super slow entrance allowed Morrison to recover and strike Kane from behind. Khali then played tug of war with Kane's ankles, but Kane bailed and went into the stands to avoid the wrath of Khali. Kane walked through the crowd and Khali stood tall... excuse the pin...to close the show.

WINNER: Morrison via DQ in 14:00. Good singles main event. Both men looked sharp in the ring. Same formula as Christian-Regal in the opener, just with a different finish. The show ending with Khali standing tall and without a PPV match to promote on Sunday reinforces the idea that Superstars is simply a "feature of stars" and isn't a true free TV infomercial show to sell PPVs. Therefore, I argue, the Raw Rebound should never air on Superstars again.

Arcademan:
TNA Impact! Results: 7-23-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Wilkenfeld's report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

(1) HOMICIDE vs. SAMOE JOE (w/TAZ)
X Division Championship Match

West tries to sell on commentary that the X Division title was always important to the MEM, and that's why they went after Joe. Homicide and Joe trade single leg takedowns. Homicide rolls to the outside—Joe looks to follow, but Homicide doesn't stay still long enough. Joe whiffs on an attempted Plancha, then eats a Somersault Plancha of Homicide's. The fight rolls back into the ring. Homicide tries to charge Joe in the corner, but gets Ura-Naged for his trouble. Joe hits a knee drop. Homicide creates a bit of distances with some kicks, but when he comes off the ropes he walks right into a Snap Slam for two. Joe, in an attempt to make his offense more boring, locks in an Abdominal Stretch. Homicide slips out and goes for some right hands and clotheslines, but Joe no-sells them all. Eventually Homicide takes Joe off his feet with a Spinning Elbow, but only gets a one count. He hits a Tornado DDT off the top rope, which is at least enough for a two count. Homicide looks for something or other (he was in a Rock Bottom position), but Joe just flips him over in a Suplex. He works over Homicide in the corner, so the ref tries to pull him off. Joe slugs him. Homicide takes advantage of the distraction to go for the Gringo Killer. Joe fights it off. Homicide looks for a Gringo Cutter, but Joe catches him in a Kokido Clutch. The ref comes around, and sees Homicide, then calls for the bell. Joe, being a moron, thinks he's won. Really, the ref has called for the DQ.

WINNER: Homicide by DQ in five minutes. That was a nice taste of what these two could do with a real match.

(2) AMAZING RED vs. KEVIN NASH (w/JENNA MORASCA)
Legends' Championship Match

Don West is sarcastically selling what a challenge this will be for Kevin Nash—how awesome will it be if Red wins. Nash invites Red to get in the first shot to start. Red does so with a quick flurry, and Nash seems a little rocked. He lifts a knee, and Red goes flying. Nash takes Red into a corner and hits some more knees. He takes a moment to pose, the flings Red across the ring. Red gets up trying to kick Nash's legs out from under him, but Nash just whacks him with another knee lift and nails the Jackknife. The crowd chants for him to do it one more time, but instead he just drives Red to the ground and gets the cover. I think that was actually an improvised spot, since he realized that a second Jackknife would get cheers.

WINNER: Kevin Nash in 2 minutes. Why are they treating Amazing Red as a jobber?

(3) SCOTT STEINER & BOOKER T (w/SHARMELL) vs. BIG ROCCO & SALLY BOY

It would be less awesome if the MEM lost this one. Booker toys with Sally a bit to start, then lays in with some chops. Steiner tags in and stomps on Sally some before hitting his Do-Se-Do Suplex. He lures Rocco into the ring with a spit to the face, but doesn't do anything illegal while the ref is distracted. Booker tags in. Sally starts to fight back from his knees, so Booker pokes his eyes and starts working the chops again. He hits a Spinning Back Kick; Rocco comes into the ring, and Booker breaks his cover. He tags in Steiner, who hits a clothesline and his Pushup Elbow Drop. He hits some more strikes in the corner, but when he charges Sally gets a leg up and is able to make the tag. Rocco zooms across the ring, knocks Booker off the apron, and floors Scott Steiner with a Body Slam. He goes to the top, as the Impact Zone goes ballistic at the prospect of an upset. He hits a Big Splash off the top rope, which gets 1, 2…no! Sharmell pulls the ref out by the leg. Meanwhile, Booker comes back and nails a Bookend on Rocco. Steiner finishes him off with a Flatliner for the kill.

WINNER: Steiner & Booker T in five minutes. I don't know why this got longer than the first one, but the crowd was psyched by the end.

(4) TARA vs. ANGELINA LOVE vs. VELVET SKY vs. MADISON RAYNE vs. ODB vs. ALISSA FLASH vs. SOJO BOLT vs. TAYLOR WILDE vs. DAFFNEY vs. SARITA

The only women to get their own entrances are Kong and Tara. The match starts with some brawling. Taylor Wilde tosses Daffney out of nowhere, then Kong Gorilla Presses Madison Rayne out onto her. Slick Johnson goes to cradle Rayne. ODB gets tossed, but Cody Deaner catcher her and rolls her back in. Slick Johnson bans Deaner from ringside. Taylor Wilde Back Body Drops Sojo Bolt out to the apron, then kicks her out the match. On the other side of the ring Tara does the exact same thing to Velvet Sky. That was a little weird. Kevin Nash strides down to the commentary booth.

Taylor Wilde and Alissa Flash were eliminated during the break, and we get back just in time to see ODB toss Angelina Love. ODB, Tara, and Sarita try to triple team Awesome Kong, but it doesn't work. She tosses dodges Tara, floors ODB, and drops Sarita to the match. They give up on that plan. Tara tries to dump Sarita, but she rolls back under the bottom rope. Kong lifts ODB onto the ropes, then butt bumps her down to the ground. Tara is facing off with Sarita in the corner. Kong kicks Tara and tosses Sarita back into the ring. Sarita lands on her feet and rocks Kong with a Springboard Dropkick, but gets tossed out for her troubles anyway. Tara and Kong trade punches in the middle of the ring. Tara goes for an Octopus. Kong tries to fight it off, and they end up both perched on the ropes. Knockout Lar Traci Brooks suddenly dumps both of them from the ring. Kevin Nash goes down to the ring and proclaims her the winner.

Winner: Traci Brooks in 10 minutes. There had to be a better way to spend that time. Nash emphasizes that Traci was an original TNA Knockout.

(5) ROBERT ROODE, JAMES STORM, AJ STYLES, ERIC YOUNG, & DANIELS vs. THE BRITISH INVASION, KIYOSHI, & BASHIR

Bashir and Young lock up to start, yet no one mentions them costing each other the X Division title a few months ago. Beer Money tag in in turn, nailing the Beer Money Suplex on Bashit, then using an interfering Kiyoshi as a battering ram. AJ tags in for some quick strikes, then tags in Daniels, who hoists Bashir up for AJ to hit with a flying punch. Daniels hits a Split-Legged Moonsault for two. He lands a few jabs, but is whipped into the Brits' corner where he takes a punch from Rob Terry. Bashir tags in Kiyoshi, who takes Daniels down by the ear then clotheslines him on the mat. Terry tags in and throws Daniels across the ring. He floors him with a clothesline. Daniels fights back with right hands, but Terry no sells them. He goes for a Cross Body Block, and he no sells that too. Magnus tag in, and Williams helps him hit a Union-Jack like slam. Williams tags in and they hit back to back strikes on Daniels in the corner. AJ has to break up the cover after Williams hits a Knee Drop off the top rope. Daniels whips Williams into his own partner on the apron, which gives him enough room to hit an Ensuguri and make the tag to AJ. AJ takes it to all five heels, eventually hitting a Flying Forearm on Magnus (who I guess tagged in), but all the heels jump in to break up the cover. We get a pier six brawl. EY tosses Brutus Magnus to AJ, but when AJ looks for a Styles Clash EY spins him around and hits a Pile Driver. Magnus makes the cover.

WINNERS: Kiyoshi, Bashir, The British Invasion (and sort of Eric Young) in six minutes.

(6) KURT ANGLE vs. MICK FOLEY
Keys on a Pole Match

Mick still looks sad on his way down to the ring. Angle and Foley trade punches to start, with Mick getting the better of the exchange. Kurt fights back with a European Uppercut and some right hands in the corner, but Mick regains control. Foley hits his charging knee in the corner. Mick starts to climb, but Kurt clips his leg out from under him. We get some more brawling, culminating with Mick clotheslining Kurt out of the ring. Foley tries to climb, but doesn't even come close before Kurt pulls him down. Kurt pounds oh him for a few seconds before trying to climb. Mick catches him on the top rope and brings him back down with a Superplex. That has to be a good idea with Kurt injured.

Mick ducks an attempted clothesline and connects with a Double Armed DDT. He grabs the artist formerly known as Mr. Socko and locks in the Mandible Claw. There are audible chants for Angle, and none for Foley. Mick takes Kurt down to the mat, where he seems to be out. He starts to climb, but the rest of the MEM run down to keep Mick from getting the keys. The ref calls for DQ. Wait, what?

WINNER?: Mick Foley by DQ in ten minutes. So the only way to win is to either get the keys or be attacked by an ally of your opponent—apparently.

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