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Arcademan:
WWE RAW Results: 7-13-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

(1) Six-divas bikini tag match: Wait a second, isn't this a PG show? Since when was bikini wrestling approved for kids age 5-10? I hope Bonnie Hammer is sitting by on the phone calling camera shots. Mickie had the pin on Maryse, but all six divas entered the fracas to create movement. Maryse shoved Mickie into a towel of sorts before finishing her off with the hair flip DDT for the pin and the win. Maryse vs. Mickie for the Divas Title at Night of Champions. (n/a)

(2) Primo vs. The Miz: Slow start, then Carlito showed up in street clothes with his music playing. Crowd cheered him coming out. They weren't paying attention last week. Primo tried to swat at Carlito, but Miz grabbed him from behind for a front-face Russian leg sweep for the pin and the win. Miz picks up a win. Too bad it didn't mean much. Too bad he dropped like a stone to a mid-card after-thought after the Cena program. After the match, Carlito kicked his brother, then spit apple on him. Officially back to the heel Carlito. (1/2*)

(3) Jack Swagger vs. MVP: They're already giving away this match? Swagger in new red and blue trunks like he's Kurt Angle. Not feeling the wardrobe change. MVP slapped Swagger early on, causing Swagger to bail to the outside and complain to the announcers. Back from break, Swagger was in control, then MVP came back with the Ballin' elbow drop. Cole tried to sound enthusiastic for a pin attempt that Swagger kicked out of. Swagger then sling shot MVP across the top rope leading to the gutwrench powerbomb for the pin and the win. Average singles match that I still can't believe WWE just gave away on free TV without hype. Swagger looked good taking the victory, though. (*)

(4) Mark Henry vs. Chris Jericho: Lawler said Seth Green has made this an official match-up. Thanks. Henry smashed Jericho several times before brick-walling Jericho to floor. Jericho decided he had enough and he high-tailed it up the entrance ramp to take a quick count-out. Henry wins and has a good laugh about it all. He then did the high school spirit routine of raising his arm for a cheer, then lowering his arm for silence. Not quite cupping the ear, but a fine, new development for Henry. (n/a)

(5) Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero: Doing the Superstars main event again. This time, Chavo must have one hand tied behind his back. Definitely not the Austin-McMahon ratings blockbuster during the Monday Night Wars. Lawler cued up the next Austin Powers reference with a note on Seth Green hanging out with Mini Me, which is why he booked the match. Hornswoggle channeled Rikishi for a Stink Face, but Chavo kicked him in the face. Chavo was going for the Three Amigos, but Hornswoggle countered with a small package. Chavo couldn't kick out due to the arm tied gimmick, so Hornswoggle scored the pin. Gimmick match for the kids and not much else but continued embarrassment of the Guerrero family. (n/a)

(6) Evan Bourne vs. Big Show: U.S. champ Kofi Kingston came out and was forced to re-watch Big Show smashing him and Evan Bourne last week. Kofi still feeling that pain, mon. Evan Bourne came out and the women loved him. Seth liked what he saw while taping up backstage. Big Show was ready to eat, though. New ref in there. Kofi vs. Show on Superstars this week. Bourne got tired of taking a beating, so he tried a top rope dropkick. Show wobbled, but then speared the crap out of Bourne, who landed on his neck. Show then put him in the Camel Clutch and Tie-Dye guy called for the bell. Show didn't break the hold after the victory, so Kofi hit the ring and smashed Show to the floor. Show just smiled and laughed at Kofi, who challenged him to come get some. Another ref hit the ring to check on Bourne, who sold a neck injury from the spear. (n/a)

(7) WWE champion Randy Orton & Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase, Jr. vs. John Cena & Triple H & Seth Green: Cena was in there and the fans chanted for Seth. Seth took a tag and slowly slipped into the ring and measured Cody for a right hand blow. Cody was not happy, so Seth bailed to the floor for a cat and mouse game. Seth wisely tagged out to Cena after that exchange and Cena took control, but DiBiase distracted the ref allowing Orton to sneak-attack Cena. After an extended beat down, Cena went to Hunter for a hot tag. High knee. "Vintage Triple H," said Cole. Crowd exploded as Hunter went through his routine until Legacy jumped him. All heck broke loose. Seth chilling on the apron. Orton suddenly nailed Hunter out of nowhere with an RKO.

Seth then broke up the pin to a huge crowd reaction. Orton was not happy with that. Orton stalked Seth for a kill, then he kicked him in the gut. Orton lined up Seth for The Punt, but Cena speared Orton out of nowhere. Legacy tackled Cena. Cody then bought a chair into the ring, but Hunter had a sledgehammer. Hunter cleared out Legacy, then almost accidentally blasted Cena, but Cena moved just in time. Hunter then dropped the hammer to the mat and they had a stand-off. Crowd hot with a "Seth" chant. Hunter and Cena then raised Seth's hand in victory. (Match ended in a DQ when Cody brought a chair into the ring.) Hunter raised Seth on his shoulders. Uh-oh. Thumbs up / thumbs down? Wait, can't have that when Batista is injured for the tenth time. End show with Hunter, Seth, and Cena celebrating in the ring. Very hot main event that salvaged this otherwise direction-less, pointless-at-times, frustrating show. (**1/2)

Arcademan:
ECW on SyFy Results: 7-14-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Park's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1- CHRISTIAN vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN

Referee Scott Armstrong initiated a clean break following the opening lock-up. Spinning heel kick by Christian that may or may not have connected got him a two-count. I wonder what would’ve happened if it were Shelton Benjamin, not Christian, who went to TNA. And how he would’ve been received had he returned to WWE. Flying back elbow by Christian off the second rope. He went to the top, but Vladimir Kozlov’s music blared over the loudspeakers and he came out in his new get-up. Shelton kicked Christian off the top and to the outside as Kozlov walked around ringside and apparently over to the commentator’s table.

Benjamin was working Christian’s arm out of break as...oh no...Kozlov was on commentary. When Mathews introduced him, Kozlov raised his arm in acknowledgment, I guess. Knee-lift by Benjamin on Christian. Shelton continued to twist and contort the left arm of the ECW #1 Contender. Kozlov bragged that he could beat both Christian and Tommy Dreamer. Benjamin leapt to the top rope, but was pushed off and Christian dropkicked him. Both men were down following that exchange. Tornado DDT hit by Christian for only two. After a pin attempt, Benjamin tried to go back to the left arm of Christian, but couldn’t keep the arm-bar on. Benjamin again jumped from the ring to the top rope to meet Christian, with a bit more success this time, landing a one-arm DDT on Christian. Benjamin tossed Christian into the ring post shoulder-first and then hit Paydirt for the win.

WINNER: Benjamin, at 11:33. This is why no one gets over. He loses to Yoshi Tatsu, a nobody, in two seconds two weeks ago, then wins last week and beats the #1 Contender for the ECW Title clean this week. Next week, I’m sure he’ll be jobbed to Goldust or something.

2- PAUL BURCHILL vs. YOSHI TATSU

Tatsu tried to stay away from any consistent Burchill offense. Fans were immediately chanting, “Yoshi, Yoshi.” Single-leg take-down by Burchill, followed by a hard elbowdrop across the throat. Katie Lea took the opportunity, with the ref’s back turned, to slap Tatsu in the face. Roll-up by Tatsu for one, and Burchill just got angrier. Rear chin-lock by Burchill, sitting down on the lower back of Yoshi for extra effect. Looks more like a choke hold though. Yoshi flipped out and got some kicks to the body. Yoshi went for a springboard kick, but fell off the top rope. Burchill capitalized, wasting no motion in suplexing Tatsu right on the back of his head (a Saito suplex, as called by Striker). As he argued with the ref on after a two-count, Tatsu out of nowhere hit a kick to Burchill’s head, like the one he hit on Shelton. “Are you Karate Kidding me?” Striker exclaimed.

WINNER: Tatsu, at 3:35. Fine match, but I still feel Burchill is being wasted in this JTTS role.

3- GOLDUST vs. ZACK RYDER

Arm-drag by Goldust out of the gate. Looks like Goldy has new designs on his suit as well. Ryder pushed him out of the corner and took it to Ryder with shoulder-blocks. Butt-butt by Goldust and Ryder was clotheslined over the top rope. Goldust went to the top, but Ryder met him up there. Ryder brought him down throat-first over the top rope, causing Goldust to spill to ringside. Running boot to the face by Ryder in the corner, and the match was solidly his at this point. After getting thrown into the buckle, Goldust powerslammed Ryder. Vintage Goldust with the thrust to the throat from his back. To the middle rope, where he hit an elbow on Ryder for two. Ryder suckered Goldust in to the corner, then hit the Zack Attack. It was academic from there.

WINNER: Ryder, at 4:24. See my comments from the last match (though I do realize Goldust certainly doesn’t have the ceiling that Burchill does at this point). Ryder continues to grow on me.

4- SHEAMUS vs. ROMAN CORNELL

Sheamus got on the mic and talked to his opponent, calling himself the Celtic Warrior. He predicted he’d be the most dominant superstar in ECW. Striker gave background on the jobber, as he usually does. Not sure if it’s true or not though. Shoulderblock by Sheamus, then he pounded away at Cornell in the corner. Cornell came down of Sheamus’ back and got some offense in until Sheamus hit a bicycle kick. Uranage into a back-breaker by Sheamus for the win.

WINNER: Sheamus, at 1:31. I like his finisher. The guy has a different look and he does show promise.

5- VLADIMIR KOZLOV vs. TOMMY DREAMER

Loud “USA” chants from the crowd right at the opening bell. Kozlov took Dreamer down then elbowdropped him on his back. He missed a second one though. He ran into a knee in the corner, then no-sold a head-shot to the buckle. Low dropkick by Dreamer when Vlad was on his hands and knees, then a clothesline off the second rope. Kozlov picked Dreamer up and dropped him throat-first across the top rope. Headbutts to the chest of the ECW Champion, then a belly-to-belly suplex that got two. He grabbed a waist-lock on the mat. Dreamer quickly made it to his feet, but was kicked in the chest. Outside the ring, Kozlov missed a kick and hit the ring post. Dreamer capitalized in the ring with a knee-lift. Jackknife cover for two, then a leg-sweep. Tommy went to the top, but Kozlov crotched him. Dreamer shoved him off and booted him in the face, but Kozlov caught Dreamer jumping off the second rope with a headbutt to the chest. The Iron Curtain finisher from Kozlov ended it.

WINNER: Kozlov, at 3:58. So the ECW Champion and challenger for the title at the PPV lost cleanly tonight. Interesting booking.

Kozlov tried to continue the beat-down but Christian made the save. Kozlov ducked and Christian hit Dreamer, then was taken down by Kozlov. After a replay of the finish and the post-match happenings, Kozlov was shown, quite happy with his work. Dreamer and Christian writhed on the mat in pain as the show ended.

Arcademan:
WWE Superstars Result: 7-16-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

(1) Cryme Tyme (w/Eve) vs. Hart Dynasty (w/Natalya): "Everything is good in my hood," Jim Ross says to welcome us to the show. Shad exploded on D.H. Smith early on, including a special delivery of Monty Brown's Pounce on Smith. I miss Monty. Brings back nostalgic memories of Friday afternoons at 4:00 p.m. watching TNA Impact on FSN. CT in control going to break.

Back from break, Shad took a lengthy beat down after Tyson Kidd chop-blocked the knee. Kidd awesome screaming and shouting as he worked over Shad's knee. He's found a trademark "thing" that makes him stand out, which is the name of the game to get TV time in WWE. Suddenly, all heck broke loose when JTG took a hot tag. Eve and Natalya tried to get involved, but order was restored and JTG nailed Kidd with a finisher for the win. Good finish to a nice tag match. WINNERS: Cryme Tyme to set up Smackdown's six-person tag.

(2) Katie Lea Burchill vs. Brie Bella (w/Nikki Bella): Copy and paste from the ECW TV match last week where Nikki was the scheduled competitor and they pulled the switcheroo. Simple reinforcement to expose the storyline to as many eyeballs. Bellas win with a surprise roll-up on Katie Lea after the switch.

(3) U.S. champ Kofi Kingston vs. Big Show: Kofi tried to start with a flurry of kicks, but Big Show gave him a big boot to the face. Commence methodical wear down of Kofi. Michael Cole slipped that Big Show's fans (instead of hands) are huge. Jerry Lawler, never one to pass up a good opportunity to crack a joke, managed to get two jokes out of that slip. Big Show said it's going to be all night long, but Kofi made a brief comeback, only to walk into a sidewalk slam. Kofi then made a full comeback - the "controlled frenzy" - and Lawler excitedly talked up a potential upset. Kofi telegraphed the buzzsaw kick, though, and Show blocked with a chokeslam for the pin and the win. WINNER: Show. Entertaining match, I thought. Still no word on a U.S. Title match for Night of Champions, but it looks like Show will be involved one way or another.

Arcademan:
TNA Impact! Results: 7-16-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Keller's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

(1) Amazing Red beat Samoa Joe via DQ in 1:00. After the break, Joe beat Red all the way down the ramp and to ringside. West accused Red of being a smart *** who runs his mouth all the time. Tenay said he hasn't said two words in his time in TNA. The ref started the match officially as soon as Joe threw Red into the ring. Seconds later Joe threw the ref to the mat, so the ref DQ'd Joe. West criticized the ref for starting the match in the first place. Three security members entered the ring to back Joe down from further attacking Red.

(2) Suicide pinned Chris Sabin (w/Alex Shelley) in 6:00. Non-title match. Good action, as you'd expect with these two, and Suicide won clean. Afterward, Alex Shelley attaked Suicide. Sabin grabbed a chair se it under Suicide as Shelley held him above it. Sabin then hit a flying legdrop, sending Suicide's face into the chair. Homicide ran out and hit Shelley and Sabin with his briefcase. Homicide then saw how vulnerable Suicide was, so he decided to cash in his briefcase.

(3) Homicide pinned Suicide at 1:00 to capture the TNA X Division Title after cashing in his briefcase. Homicide went for a quick pin. Suicide kicked out, but Homicide continued with a Gringos Killer for the win.

(4) Sarita beat Alissa Flash in 5:00. Flash is billed from San Francisco, Calif. She told Dave Penzer to refer to her as a "future legend." West liked that attitude. Tenay said women wrestlers all over the world want to be part of TNA's Knockout roster. Sarita kicked Flash to the floor early and then dove through the ropes and dove into her chest. Flash took over in the ring. West and Tenay wondered if Flash was going to ruin Sarita's much-hyped debut. Sarita, though, won with a victory roll. Sarita gave Flash a split-legged sitout powerbomb afterward. (*3/4)

(5) Kevin Nash & Booker T & Scott Steiner beat A.J. Styles & Beer Money in an elimination match in 15:00. Nash pinned Styles after a Jackknife in 3:00. Steiner eliminated Storm at 6:00. After the break Roode was trying to battle the Mafia alone, but eventually was slowed down. Booker scored a near fall and actually lifted Roode before the third count to administer more punishment. Nash tagged in and beat down Roode. Roode, though, used a low blow to block a Jackknife and pinned Nash. West was critical, but Tenay somehow said under the circumstances you have admire such a desperation move. When Nash tripped Roode from ringside a minute later, West said, "One low blow entitles you to one cheapshot. That's the rules." Storm walked back to the ring, but Morgan hit him from behind and threw him into the ringside barrier. In the ring Roode knocked both Steiner and Booker down with a clothesline. Roode gave Booker a spinebuster a minute later for a near fall. Roode leaped off the second rope and hit Steiner with a neckbreaker. Booker right after Roode, but Roode avoided a scissors kick. Sharmell distracted the ref as Roode hit the fisherman suplex into a bridge. Steiner then recovered and set up Roode for a front wheel kick to the face. Roode went down for the pin. Sharmell and Jenna got into a fight afterward. (**1/2)

(6) Kurt Angle fought Sting to a no contest in 10:00. Jarrett said Foley is so unpredictable, sometimes he creates situations he's not smart enough to get out of. When West said he agreed with Jarrett, Jarrett snapped back: "Shut up, West. I'm sick of your smart ***." At 2:00 they cut to a break. Angle was in control after the break. Sting made a comeback at 7:00, sending him into the cage and scoring a two count. Angle came back by driving Sting into a corner with shoulder blocks. Angle hit a back suplex. As Jarrett talked about how Victory Road means everything to him and TNA, Samoa Joe attacked him from behind. He then knocked out the ref and stole the key to the cage. He entered the cage as Sting had Angle locked in a Scorpion Death Lock. Joe locked himself in the cage. Sting got up and dropped Joe. He put him in a Scorpion Deathlock. The lights went out and then "FTW 13" appears on the screen. Tenay said he thinks he knows who that signified. Jarrett got up and tried to climb the cage. Angle bashed at his fingers with a night stick. Foley tried to climb the cage. Angle should have stood and laughed at the prospects of that, but instead he bashed his fingers, too. Nash then came out and attacked Jarrett. Joe then applied his sleeper on Sting in mid-ring as Angle stood guard.

Arcademan:
WWE Smackdown Results: 7-17-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Park's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1- C.M. PUNK vs. JOHN MORRISON

This is a re-match from three weeks ago. Morrison and Punk exchanged hammerlocks and Punk backed Morrison into the corner. During the breaks in the corner, neither man was pleased with the other. Punk locked in the tarantula hold in the ropes; haven’t seen that in a while. Cross-body off the top by the champion, but Morrison rolled through for two. Morrison got out of a Got To Sleep and monkey-flipped Punk. He sent Punk to the outside, but Punk grabbed his legs through the ropes and pulled him out, with Morrison landing on the mat with a “thud.” About 3:20 in, they went to break.

Punk had Morrison in a waist-scissors out of break, though Morrison was attempting to elbow out. He landed a nice bell-to-belly on the former MNM member, and back to the body-scissors. Morrison got out and punched away at Punk. Running knee to the face for a two-count. He does that move so well, and I don’t imagine it’s an easy move. The men traded covers, then Punk hit Morrison with a double-underhook back-breaker. Another one we haven’t seen in some time. That got a two-count. Morrison ran the ropes and was caught in a sleeper. At the 10:30 mark, they both went down following a double clothesline. Flying Chuck kick for a near-fall by Morrison. There’s a fan in the crowd with a sign that says “Jeff Hardy: Marry Me....in 10 years.” I hope she wasn’t traumatized by the opening promo. After the two went back-and-forth with some of their finishing sequences, Punk went for a Magistra Cradle, but Morrison didn’t allow Punk to turn it, just laying down on him for three.

WINNER: John Morrison, at 11:53. Another great match between these two. It’s amazing the in-ring workers this show has.

Morrison extended his hand to the bemused C.M. Punk after the match, but Punk just slid out of the ring, took his title and went home.

2- KANE vs. R-TRUTH

They showed clips of Kane and Great Khali exchanging chairshots last week on the show. A shoulderblock put Truth on the mat hard. Big uppercut caught Truth walking out of the corner. Kane pounded away at Truth in the corner. He finally missed a charge, but caught Truth on a cross-body attempt. Back-drop by Kane sent Truth to the outside. He missed a big boot though and Truth side-kicked Kane out of the ring and dropkicked him off the apron. Kane tried to re-group on the outside as they went to break just over 2:00 in.

Kane suplexed Truth down as the show returned. Another side-kick by Truth, but he fell victim to a sidewalk slam for a near-fall. Kane tried to squeeze the life out of Truth on the mat, grabbing him in a rear waist-lock. Truth tried to come back with fists, but Kane propelled him back out of the ring. Kane made the mistake of coming out to greet him, and Kane was clotheslined into the ring post. He took over once again while still at ringside, then tossed Truth back inside the squared circle. Bearhug applied by Kane. Kane picked Truth up by the throat at 10:00, but Truth dropkicked him in mid-air. Drop toe-hold into the corner by Truth, then he followed it up with a corner clothesline. DDT and both men were down. When Truth finally made the cover, it was only for two. Truth to the top, but Kane got his big boot up, destroying Truth and picking up the win.

WINNER: Kane, at 11:00. Good finish to the match and it wasn’t as bad as I expected.

3- THE HART DYNASTY vs. CRYME TYME & EVE TORRES

Natalya and Eve were in there first, but they didn’t do much. Tyson and Shad then came in and Shad Pounced on Kidd once again, just like last night. Then some double-teaming from Cryme Tyme in the corner. JTG missed a cross-body and ended up getting crotched on the top rope. David Hart Smith was next in as Natalya picked right up where she left off last night in terms of trash talking. The Hart Dynasty did some double-teaming of their own. Abdominal stretch of sorts from Kidd on JTG. Desperation hip-lock take-over from JTG. D.H. Smith tagged in and took Shad out. JTG was in his corner but Shad wasn’t, so Eve tagged in. Couple of dropkicks hit by Eve. Natalya missed a charge, and Eve landed a roundhouse kick. Moonsault landed, but there was a distraction as the four men were going at it. Natalya hot-shotted Eve off the top rope, then hit spinning clothesline and a good one (Natalya spun around once or twice before using the momentum to take Eve out). That was enough for the win.

WINNERS: The Hart Dynasty, at 4:12. Match was OK, with the trademark tag team finish, but the crowd didn’t seem interested.

4- CHRIS JERICHO & DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. JEFF HARDY & REY MYSTERIO

Before the bell rang, C.M. Punk came down. He joined the commentary team. Hardy dropkicked Jericho down to the mat shortly after the bell rang. Punk said his eye is healing nicely, but he still experiences some side-effects. Jericho retaliated with a springboard dropkick, knocking Hardy off the apron and to ringside. They took the final break of the show at this point.

Ziggler had just tagged in upon return and it looks like the heels were having their way with Hardy. They continued pounding away at Hardy, with clotheslines and slams and basically keeping him grounded. Hardy came back with a clothesline of his own, and he was able to tag Rey Mysterio. He proceeded to clean house on Jericho and Ziggler. After a kick to the head, Mysterio made a pin attempt for just two. Mysterio got taken out outside the ring and Ziggler shoved him back in. Ziggler applied a unique chin-lock, then whipped Rey hard into the turnbuckle. Both men were down and both made tags at 11:00. It was Hardy who was all offense this time. Whisper in the Wind connected for two. Jericho tried a Walls of Jericho to no avail. It didn’t work, and Hardy ended up hitting the Swanton (“and the people are all on their feet” said Punk dryly). Ziggler interrupted the three-count. Hardy tried to throw Jericho into Punk at ringside, but Punk avoided it. He had some choice words for Hardy, then when Jeff turned his back, he threw Jericho into Hardy, sending Hardy into the steel steps.

WINNERS: No Contest, at 12:41. “No contest” is my best guess.

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