AuthorTopic: Fragmented Heart  (Read 2269 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Spychan

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 33
  • Gender: Female
  • bow chic a bow wow.....
Fragmented Heart
« on: April 03 2006, 01:16 pm »
* dances* I wrote a story, my first Tsubasa story and I want to share it with yall!
Tell me what you think ^o^:

Fragmented Heart ( Chap One)

“Do you love me Syaoran-kun?...”

“ Sa..Sakura-Hime...?”

“ I just want to know.....do you really love me?”

“ Hime.....”

Alas we have found our four fellow alliances and mascot in a different world, a different dimension each with their own  reason for being there doing what they are doing now but at the same time they are also there for each other for the time being to help each other to get through any hindrances that come upon them so they can do what they set out to do.

A pink sky with purple clouds loomed over a  large, vast valley of boulders and a world of sand where a group of people were journeying through after being spit out of another dimensional hole, heading towards a small village that awaited them with new tasks and complications to be solved. A tall man who looked in somewhere of his mid twenties with broad shoulders and deep black spiked hair with two strands hanging over his forehead narrowed his ruby red eyes and scratched the back of his head in frustration as a small round white creature toppled around on his head chanting little songs of every little thing they were doing as they walked on.

“ Oi! White Manjiu! Shut up or prepared to be thrown.”

“ What else am I suppose to do when I am bored?! All we have been doing is walking in silence for the past hour or so! Mokona is so boooooooooooored, Bored! Bored! Bored! Bored! Mokona is soooo Bored!......”

The short tempered ninja twitched his eyebrow as the little white creature began to go into a new song while the other man that walked beside him with ocean blue eyes and white blonde hair with long bangs watched in amusement his eyes twinkling knowing what really would push his little ninja friend’s buttons

“ Awww, Kurogane-Puu not liking Mokona-chan’s cute little song? Lets all sing together! Bored! Bored !Bored! Bored! ”

Gawd was it fun ticking him off.

Kurogane was officially pissed off now. The furious ninja slowly reached behind his back reaching to grab a long black sword that was stranded on to his back , beginning to start to form a demented smile as his mouth twitched  trying  his best not to combust right then and now.

“ You two really bored? Would you like to play a little game? I call it Man Hunt....”

The two teenagers who walked ahead began to pick up their pace a little more as they glanced over their shoulders seeing  their fellow companions run around in circles while the rabid ninja chased them with his sword swinging in the air.

“ Damn you white meat bun and crazy name calling wizard! Stop running away like cowards!”

“ Kyaaaa! Kurogane-Puu is gonna kill us!”

“ Look at Kurogane-Puu, he is so mad his face is red ! He he he cherry faced Kurogane!”

“ What Did You Say!?!”

The teenage girl with short burnet brown hair held her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter as she listened to the screams behind her, she really did like having them company it always meant entertainment at some point or another. Even more she liked having  him as company, Sakura glanced up at the tall teenager boy with short spiked deep brown hair and amber brown eyes that smiled down at her , even though she didn’t know where he came from and what his past was or how in what way they were acquainted, she felt safe around him, and had this warm feeling that always took over her body when he smiled at her or kept her close to him. She didn’t care now how she was put with him or who he was, all she knew that somehow and somewhere she deeply knew him and he was something important to her. That's something she figured out on her own even though she is still searching to obtain  her lost memories to make things a little more clear.

Syaoran smiled down at the teenage girl who seemed to be lost in another world as she continued to not move her emerald green eyes from him

“ How are you doing Sakura-Hime?”

Sakura was thrown out of her thoughts and blinked rapidly ,quickly shifting her head down to make sure Syaoran didn’t see her cheeks glowing red and mumbled an “ I’m alright”. Was it her or was this happening alot more when she was around with him alone, she always felt so warm when she was in his presence, Sakura took a deep breathe as her hands pressed against her heart. He was different from everyone else, he was something...special to her, even though she doesn’t remember everything and only a little her emotions still did and she was beginning to realize it more quick then ever.

Syaoran lifted his eyebrows as he stared down at the distraught girl who's face was completely flustered and hands were pressed against her chest. Out of natural reaction worry took over him and stopped dead in his tracks placing a hand to Sakura’s cheek causing her eyes to widen as she stared up into his amber eyes that were filled with fear

“ Hime, your face is really warm are you really sure you are okay?..”

Sakura placed her hand to his and smiled weakly knowing that once again she has caused him to panic over her condition. He really did care about her and knew he would do anything to assure her safety around him

“ Hai, I’m really okay Syaoran-kun! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you there...”

Syaoran let out a breath of relief as he brushed a lock of her brunette brown hair away from her eyes smiling as she innocently stared up at him

“ You don’t have to worry about me Hime..”

Okay, there it was again. That feeling that was once again filling throughout her body that just wanted to make her levitate off the ground, where did this come from? How she wanted to put it to use, to say how she was feeling right now, to.....Sakura swallowed and opened her mouth to reply back when a several wrap holes opened up around the group of four people surrounding them all.

Syaoran immediately jumped infront of Sakura thrusting his arms aside ready to not let anything get through him to hurt her. Kurogane and Fai stopped their game of run away from the rabid ninja and looked around at the black creatures with long weapons enclosed in their hands ready to attack. Kurogane grinned as he looked his opponents up and down.

“ Finally, now I really won’t be bored!”
Fai calmly smiled as he turned his head around looking at just what they were up against as Mokona whimpered staying low on top of his head

“ Well now, we finally decide to get some company hm?..This should be interesting....”

And so it begins....
The smallest change makes the biggest difference

Offline suu_no_clover

  • Syaoran shipper. Beware the OTP. >:E
  • "A True Fan"
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,004
  • Gender: Female
  • Listener; Lurker; 'Lol'-er.
Re: Fragmented Heart
« Reply #1 on: April 03 2006, 03:08 pm »
There's a whole portion of the site dedicated to fanfiction.

http://www.capturedwings.net/fanfiction

There. You can register there, and upload your fic. :keke:
Other than that a cool start to a fic. I hope to see more.
« Last Edit: April 03 2006, 04:45 pm by suu_no_clover »
~*~sparkly signature goes here~*~

Livejournal // Last.FM // MyAnimeList

Offline Kuro-puppy

  • The heart of red will be enfolded in wind......
  • Former Staff
  • *Freak Fan?!*
  • *
  • Posts: 2,692
  • Gender: Male
  • ElioXCarol forever!
Re: Fragmented Heart
« Reply #2 on: April 03 2006, 03:17 pm »
good chapter, the 'Man hunt piece' was funny, keep it up :noteworthy:
Join Zeldi's Forum



avatar and signature made by Zeldi

Forum Family:
Forum Wife ~ -=kuro_woof=-              Little Sis ~ Aya-chan
Little Bro ~ Kuri-san                                        another beloved Little Sis ~ Zeldi
Vampire Lover nicole_shimun

On an ephemeral evening, I tell a story to my friend.

Reflected behind my closed eyelids is a sweet field. Dauntless, I embrace you lovingly. I am together with you.

Out of love, I forge a pact with you. Like a breath, the wind will envelop you. You and I will be together wherever we go.

The heart of red will be enfolded in wind and forge the contract.

Offline Magical Angel 101

  • Good Fan
  • **
  • Posts: 103
  • Gender: Female
Re: Fragmented Heart
« Reply #3 on: April 04 2006, 01:52 am »
Very good !
[img ]http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f157/Capture_moment/Losttears.jpg[/img]

Offline Spychan

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 33
  • Gender: Female
  • bow chic a bow wow.....
Re: Fragmented Heart
« Reply #4 on: April 04 2006, 01:24 pm »
There's a whole portion of the site dedicated to fanfiction.

http://www.capturedwings.net/fanfiction

There. You can register there, and upload your fic. :keke:
Other than that a cool start to a fic. I hope to see more.

I'm sorry for not replying sooner, did you want me to put my fic in the fiction section then?

Oh, and thanks for reviewing on my story you guys, if you see any mistakes or things I should fix please do tell me!

Appreciate it, you guys are groovy  :okay:
The smallest change makes the biggest difference