Chapter 5: Chapter 5: His Doubts
(by Akahna, added on 2005-12-28 18:23:40 AEST) [Discussion Topic]
Please do not sue me. You will get enmity and... more enmity.
When we come into out story, Syaoran is fighting a losing battle against his own feelings
How? How did she yank out his heart? How did she change the way he felt about everything? Why? Why did she do this to him, to smash what she took from him, his heart, to a millon pieces? Why did she meet him in the first place? When? When did he start to like being with her more than anyone else in the world, this cruel, cruel world? When did he find, that whenever she smiled, he felt a little happier, and that a weight had been lifted off his shoulders for the breif time he was with her? What? What was with all these questions floating around in his head? What was the reason he had become so weak? What was this feeling? Was it... love? No... It couldn't be... He had sorted that out not too long ago. He could never love another being. Never, ever in his life would he love. Never... NEVER!
He pounded his pillow over and over again with these thoughts in his head. Others' thought him collected, little did they know that... they couldn't be farther from the truth. He was a mess. He would always contradict his feelings. He was never sure of anything. No one could go to him for emotional help without needing another kind of emotional help. Professional.
Never... never...never would I fall in love. I couldn't, even if I could, I wouldn't dare. It causes weakness, a soft spot, and something for people to control you with. No, I... cannot. I... cannot feel these things, ever. I... can't
Mrs. Li: Syaoran, you are acting woth new intentions today, you have none. Why do throw Meiling out of your room when she did nothing wrong?
Syaoran: Go away.
Mrs. Li: Syaoran, listen to me.
Syaoran: *grumble*
Mrs. Li: Syaoran? Syaoran... LISTEN TO ME! YOU HAVE NO REASON TO JUST THROW PEOPLE TO THE SIDE LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING.MEILING TOLD ME.
Syaoran: *gasp*
Mrs. Li: Son, I know you face a hardship, your freind is dieing. You must accept that.
Syaoran: I HAVE ACCEPTED IT!
Mrs. Li: Than why...
Syaoran: I just need to accept something else.
Mrs. Li: ... You love her don't you?
Syaoran: What would you know?
Mrs. Li: Beleive it or not, I fell in love, with your father. We weren't betrothed because of blood, we fell in love with each other.
Syaoran: It's not like that. It's nothing like that.
Mrs. Li: It's exactly the same.
Syaoran: NO IT'S NOT!
He slammed his hand down on hid bed, the softness absorbed his blow.
Mrs. Li: I understand. Next time you take out anger, make sure you put all of it into recollect for later, when you battle an enemy.
She walked out of the room and left him to dwell in his thoughts.
Later, at Sakura's house...
Tomoyo: She hasn't even woken u yet. It's been how long? A week?
Toya: Two. I miss teasing the little monster.
*Ding Dong*
Toya: I'll get it.
Tomoyo: ...
At the door...
Toya: Hello?
Syaoran: Hi, can I visit Sakura?
Toya: *glare* What happened to you running away? You won't try anything funny will you?
Syaora: No, that was... complicated, last time. I... can't explain it.
Toya: *death glare* Alright, come on.
Syaoran followed Toya into Sskura's room, it was different from the last time he had visited. More tension hung in the air.
Toya: *nod to Tomoyo*
Tomoyo: *nods back and leaves room*
Toya follows Tomoyo out of the room and sees her out.
Syaoran watched over Sakura. He watched her through eyes that say her as the most beautiful being on earth. A tear streamed down his cheek, foolowed by another, and another. Her sweet face reminded him of the time they had together, however little they had, each one precious in it's own way. She had been his light, his pure, wwhilte light. A warm look was always on her face, a happy smile always in place... until that day. It was replaced with fear, terror, and sadness. He did not know why there was sadness, it was a pure mystery.
A week before the accident...
Sakura: Tomoyo.
Tomoyo: Yes?
Sakura: I have something to tell you, I feel like I'm going to burst if I don't tell anyone.
Tomoyo: What is it?
Sakura: I... I'm in love with Syaoran.
Tomoyo: *gasp*
Sakura: I feel so happy when I'm around him and whenever I think of him. Isn't it wonderful?
Tomoyo: Yes. *murmer* But I have my reasons for Eriol.
Sakura: What?
Tomoyo: Oh, nothing. It's just that you'd make such a cute couple.
Back to the present...
Syaoran: I should have seen the car comeing earlier. I should have noticed you fell before it came. I should have protected you better than I did. I didn't do enough for you. I... I failed. You did so much for me and... and I... I just FAILED you like that. I can't... I can't bear to see you like this. I... I just can't.
Another tear streaked down his cheek, followed by more, following the first tears ever shed by him. It was true. He had never cried in his life.
Syaoran: I can't... I fail to protect you once. But that doesn't give you the right to leave... to leave me. Sakura... I ... Sakura, don't leave me... because... I have a reason to be selfish this time. I want you to live, not only as a freind... Sakura, I... I love you.
Tears streaked down his cheeks as he said those last three words. They fell down to his chin as he clench his eyes in attempt to stop the tears.
Sakura: I...
Syaoran: uh...
He looked up at Sakura. She was smiling at him, wearily, but she was smiling at him.
Sakura: I...
Syaoran: ...
Sakura: I... I love you... too... Syaoran, I think I always have.
Her words got more confident as she said them. As well as her getting her words back, he got his happiness that was taken mercifullessly from him back. He was no longer without the one he loved. And he was without the confused thoughts, replaced with... love. She swept in and held her close, lips against her hair, not beleiving his eyes. He couldn't beleive, it was to wonderful. His freind, and maybe more, had wonken up, and confessed. She was in love with him, as much as she was with him.
They finally got to gether andgrew up together. Through college, they stayed together. At the end of college, Syaoran proposed. They married and lived a nice, quiet life in the country.
The End |
|
