CapturedWings.org Forums
Fan Work => CCS Fan Creations => Topic started by: D.J.P on April 02 2005, 10:41 am
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[This story is now available here - http://www.capturedwings.net/fanfiction/display.php?sid=1]
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Sakura Li (nee. Kinomoto): Sakura Avalon (26 Yrs)
Syaoran Li: Li Showron (25 Yrs)
Tomoyo Hiiragisawa (nee. Daidouji): Madison Taylor (25 Yrs)
Eriol Hiiragisawa: Eli Moon (26 Yrs)
Please note, I do not own Cardcaptors/Cardcaptor Sakura. I’m only using the characters. The only character I own is the Character of Shannon Li.
In the story, Li and Sakura are ~26, have been married for almost 8 years and have a six year old boy.
A Child’s Destiny.
Prologue
May 12th 2012.
A happy family picnic is enjoyed by a beautiful lady and handsome man.
Their six year old son is running around the park, being chased by another beautiful lady.
As the couple watch their son being chased by his auntie without a care in the world, it seems like nothing can pierce the peaceful atmosphere of the park. But suddenly the tranquil environment was shattered by an ear-piecing scream.
The beautiful lady now lying flat on the ground in a pool of blood; and suddenly the once peaceful scene has become a nightmare. The man pulls out a sword and tries to strike one of the assailants but misses and is knocked to the ground. Sadly joining his poor wife.
The child, who was being restrained by his auntie, breaks from her grasp, run’s forward screaming, picks up his father’s sword and takes down the first assailant before he knows what’s happening.
The second one spins around in surprise as his partner falls down, shock was clearly registered in his eyes, as he meets the same fate as his friend.
The child drops the sword and falls to the ground. The other lady comes up and hugs him close as he cries and looks towards nearby bushes.
Picking up the crying child, she takes one look at the scene before her, then turns and walks out of the park to call the police and to take young boy home. Looking down at the child, who somehow has managed to fall asleep in her arms, she just realized that her family will now have a hard time ahead.
Coming to terms with the lost of family members is hard enough as it is, but having to deal with a child who just watched his parents being killed, well that’s another matter in itself. Signing to herself, she carried the sleeping child away, wondering what challenges tomorrow will bring.
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Well there it is, this is a revised prologue that I did last night (while I had a splitting headache :angry:)
Comments are welcomed.
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Cool...already read this and chapter 1 too. :D
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kewl...i like the way how you describe things....i like stories with loads of descriptions about the scene. Coz i like the vivid idea of a place where the characters are in...but i never did as well as you did....gd job!!!! XD
gahh...and please dun use names from the dubbed version of CCS....coz i would never get used to it > o < and i like the original names better!!!!
Keep writting!!!! :D
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Thank you :)
and don't worry the story is using the Japanese names, I've gotten quite use to them :) (since my collection of CCS is almost complete)
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You did that even if you still had a headache? :D Amazing!
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yeap I did :)
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I like it!
Err...not the fact that two innocent people were killed, of course.
Your attention to detail impresses me!
[waits patiently for more]
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Chapter 1 is about half way done, really need to finish it
- Yeah sorry about killing them (I'm sure you know who there are), but its neccesary for the story
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I like it!
Err...not the fact that two innocent people were killed, of course.
Your attention to detail impresses me!
[waits patiently for more]
yeah, SLi's really good in writing. :D one of his other talents apart from flying.. :D
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thanks for the compliment :D
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So when is chapter 2 gonnna be posted up :okay:
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when I finished writing it
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Hope it won't take 10 years. :)
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nah, I have all the ideas for the entire story, just need to put it down into words :D (when I have the time or the urge to write :()
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wow...its pretty hard to set up a kewl plot for a CCS story...since CCS fanfics are sooo well 'common'.
I've wrote a few fanfics, but somehow they're only one-shot or either i just stop around 2 chapters. *sigh*
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exculiding one-shots, I only have about 10 or so fanfics that are complete.
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You really like writing then, do you? :D
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they aren't my own :sad face:
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what's not your own?
:confused:
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one word: time
(lack of)
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Ahh, I know how that feels.
Stupid time. [throws clock at wall]
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its a very good start to a wonderful story.. I hope to see more of it soon.. :)
keep up the great work.. :okay:
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kk, thanks.
If you want to see some more sooner, do you have an IM Account?
I'd love a proof-reader/reviewer for chapter 2 (what I've done of it)
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I have MSN messenger.. :) my email account for that is: kila_dragon69@hotmail.com
I'd love to proof read or review chapter two.. :D just tell me which one is my job tehehe.. :)
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added you.
and how about both?
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:okay: sounds ok to me.. I'm gonna log on then.. :P
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that was a great story!! i kidda got confused a bit but i understand it afterwafds when i finished reading it
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what was confusing about it?
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the people in it how u didn't put the names
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ahh, but that was done deliberately.
The original prologue was like movie viewing one. I tried to keep it the same way when I rewrote the prologue.
I'm sure it wasn't too hard to tell who is who :D
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I thought I would post a couple of pictures a friend did (thanks wing_goddess) of my prologue:
http://storage.e-devstudio.com/personal/acd/attempt1a.jpg
http://storage.e-devstudio.com/personal/acd/attempt1b.jpg
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you must continue!!! o____o *glomp*
I might draw a fanart of Shannon-kun, depends :keke: (It'll be chibi-styled of course XD)
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you must continue!!! o____o *glomp*
I might draw a fanart of Shannon-kun, depends :keke: (It'll be chibi-styled of course XD)
Ok I will, whenever :tongue3:
Cool, look forward to it if you do :D
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you must continue!!! o____o *glomp*
I might draw a fanart of Shannon-kun, depends :keke: (It'll be chibi-styled of course XD)
Well where is it? :tongue3:
On another note, I've done a short bio of Shannon Li:
Character Profiles:
Name: Shannon Li
Gender: Male
D.O.B: April 8th 2008
Place of Birth: Ipswich, Queensland, Australia
Nationality: Australian (Mixed Heritage)
Bio:
The only child of Sakura and Syaoran Li. He has inherited his mothers emerald green eyes and for the most part, her caring personality, making him certainly his mother’s son. He has his father’s hair and at times, his seriousness, which shows in battle. His tragic childhood has left him emotionally scarred, his real personality buried under years of training. To outsiders he appears cold, calculating and emotionless. Only a few close family members ever see his true side.
A/N: I know it sounds like Syaoran at the start of CCS, in fact I didn't realize until a few moments ago :sweatdrop:, of course Syaoran was always serious even around family members I think.
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Should I do anyone else?
(and I haven't forgotton about the story :keke:)
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Great story! Oh no!!!! Just realized that i have named one of the charaters Shannon in my own fan fiction too. So Sorry!!!!!!!!!! But this one is a girl. Sorry!!! did not know others aslo named their characters that.
Ok off subject. Plz add more chapters soon. Can't wait!!
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Chapter 1: Painful Revelations
May 16th 2012
"Shannon, wake up" , Tomoyo softly whispered to the little boy who four days earlier had unfortunately witnessed his parents death.
"You know Tomoyo; you should either turn on his hearing aid or shake him awake" , Eriol Hiiragisawa watched his wife's attempt to wake the young boy up. Tomoyo was about to give him strange look but was interrupted by loud crying.
Eriol gave her a smile and replied "I'll see to her" and walked off to calm down their two year old daughter. Tomoyo gave her retreating husband a sweet smile and turned her attention back to the little boy. She reached down and a gently pressed a switch on a small device above Shannon's right ear. Gently shaking him, she smiled as he slowly started to wake up.
"Guess who is finally awake. Welcome back sleepy head". Shannon smiled at his auntie's comment, but suddenly started crying which surprised Tomoyo.
"What's wrong sweetie?" she asked him but he continued to cry.
"He can't sense his parents". Eriol told her from the doorway.
"What do you mean?" Tomoyo asked him, over Shannon's crying.
"He has a special connection to his parents, he can tell if they are around or if they are in pain and such", was the reply.
Meanwhile, Shannon had stopped his crying and was quietly whimpering into his pillow. Tomoyo sat down on the edge of the bed and wasn't at all surprised when he laid his head down in her lap. She smiled at this and started to twirl with his unruly hair which was so much like his fathers. She was so preoccupied with doing this that she didn't notice that Eriol had left the doorway. She was about to get up, but noticed that someone was standing in the doorway.
"Quite comfortable there Tomoyo?" the person asked.
Tomoyo just looked until she recognised the voice, apparently so did Shannon.
"Grandma!" he shouted and jumped up and run to her. Yelan reached down and picked up her grandson just like when he was little and held him close.
"I heard what happened. How is he doing?" she asked, nodding down to the little boy she was holding.
"He's not talking very much, are you Shannon?" Tomoyo said, getting up and walking over to them. He shook his head no, in response to the question. Yelan just smiled.
"Why don't you go and play, Shannon, Grandma and I need to talk", she asked. He hopped down out of his grandmother's arms and ran from the room.
"Woo! Slow down squirt!" Eriol told him, as he moved out of Shannon's way.
"I think he was using the Dash card." He told both Tomoyo and Yelan. All three cracked up with laughter, which died down very quickly.
"What about the Cards?" Yelan asked. Eriol just looked at her with a blank expression.
"The cards will become his, if he can prove that he is worthy of possessing them."
"If he can prove he's worthy?" she asked.
"He will have to choose six cards to be released. He will then have to capture and seal those cards." Eriol told her.
Tomoyo clapped her hands together. "That will mean that he'll be a cardcaptor."
Both Eriol and Yelan just looked at her.
"When will you make him do this?" she asked.
"Not at this moment in time. There is no hurry. We must let him get over the loss of his parents first, however long that will take." Eriol told both of them.
All three of them just looked out the window, watching Shannon just lying on the lawn, looking up at the sky.
His mind started wandering, images of the fun times he spent with his parents running through his mind, listening to his mother's retelling of her younger years, remembering her voice, soft and gentle, yet it didn't portray the power that she had. The times training with father, learning to control his magic, learning to fight, All that seem like a distant memory now. Happy thoughts turned to sadness over them, then finally to anger - anger at those responsible, anger at himself for not doing anything.
"Watcha doing?" His thoughts where disrupted by a familiar voice.
"Leave me alone Maddie" he replied, his mind still elsewhere.
Madison Hiiragisawa just smiled at her older cousin, the kinda smile only a two year old could muster.
"Play with me", she said, well more like demanded of her cousin.
His only response was to stare at her; little good it did but cause her only response was to do what she usually did to get him up: Jump on him.
"Okay, Maddie, you asked for it", was his response.
Madison giggled at this, for it was so typical of her cousin. She got off him and proceeded to run just shook his head at this.
"If I catch you, you know what will happen", he yelled after her and ran off after the distant laughter that followed his statement.
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This chapter had been sitting like this for quite a while, I thought about adding more, but decided to leave it as this.
Hope the formatting is fine. This site is a pain sometimes in this area. Reviews are welcome. I'll try to get back into writing.
I have the way I intend this story to go floating around in my head (along with lots of variations to how things might happen), just need to write them down.
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Also posted on this sites FanFiction System: http://www.capturedwings.net/fanfiction/display.php?op=viewchapter&storyid=1&chapterid=2
And FF.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2338869/2/
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Good, solid start to your story there and look forward to reading more in the future. Nice job :)
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Thanks, I'll try have the next chapter a lot quicker then this one :D
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Thanks, I'll try have the next chapter a lot quicker then this one :D
Take your time. After all, I never did finish my Legacies United story and I only posted a couple of chapters of 2010: Christmas Returns to the Arcademan Universe before suspending it due to a recent death in my family.