Kyaaa! S+S! :keke: Oooh. Syaoran in the shower. *drools* :XD: Whee. Syaoran-kun to the rescue. Will he make it in time? Or find her trapped in the clutches of this strange antagonist? Or worse.... *mutters sinister angsty thoughts to herself* O_o Oh dear. I'm rambling again. :sweatdrop:
Just one odd point - A seventh grader in high school? Japanese high schools don't start until 10th grade. ^_^;;
It's very well done, Moezy-chan. I can't wait for more! ^_^
Read you story and it's done extremely well. Great use of detail and storyline set-ups...great stuff.
Some side notes...as already noted elsewhere, high school and 7th grade doesn't go well. Also you should aviod personal comments during the story itself (like when you mentioned Touya going to Tokyo University contradicts the facts because it's YOUR fanfic) and similar notes should either be explained as part of the story itself or in the comments section here. It only detracts needlessly from the story.
A big plus is the fact you took time to give a summary of all the major characters at the start of the story. This helps set the scene where and when the story is taking place.
A great start to a great story. I look forward to the next installment however pace yourself and take your time and not rush it. As mentioned by others and by your Christmas story, you have great writing skills. Best of luck, Moezy-chan :)
You're doing good so far. ^^ I do wish that some paragraphs could be a bit longer. Keep going! ^^
Also to add...having the doctor come out and say that Sakura 'survived' the surgery...you may want to re-phrase that comment. For some reason, that statement sounds a bit cold. Perhaps something more subtle to describe the moment may work better...like 'Sakura's surgery went well and I believe she will pull through.' or something similar to that. After all, doctors are suppose to install comfort in their words as well as medical aid.