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Arcademan:
WWE Smackdown Results: 10-17-08

Results courtesy of ProWrestling.net (direct link to Twilling's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

Big Show's music hit and he came out to the ring with a reluctant Chavo Guerrero. Show cut a promo on The Undertaker saying things were going to end badly for him. He ran down the three options for his match against Taker at Cyber Sunday. He then said he was going to demonstrate the three matches...

The first option was a "Knockout" match. Show knocked out some local jobber in a couple of seconds. The second option was an "I Quit" match. Show quickly submitted the second jobber. The third option was a "Last Man Standing" match. The third jobber came out. Hurricane Helms popped up and said, "Did you see what happened to the first two? I'm just sayin'." Show put the kid through a table for the win...

Twill's Two Cents: Helms is watching the show live? That was awesome. I actually enjoyed this segment very much. It was different, it made a point, and it was effective.

1. Carlito and Primo Colon defeated Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins to retain the WWE Tag Team Championships in 3:44. After some decent action, Primo hit a missile dropkick for the win...

2. R-Truth defeated MVP in 2:55. Truth's entrance was over huge with the crowd. Shelton Benjamin watched the match from the backstage area. In a surprisingly short match, Truth hit a scissors kick for the win. Shelton was shown again watching from the backstage area...

Twill's Two Cents: You know, they could really have a nice United States Championship picture with these three men but MVP's gimmick right now is to come up short of achieving his bonus.

3. Ezekiel Jackson (with The Brian Kendrick) defeated Super Crazy in :44. Hurricane Helms popped up again and asked if Jackson's tights came in his size. Jackson quickly won the match and Kendrick hit The Kendrick on Crazy afterwards...

4. The Undertaker defeated The Great Khali (with Ranjin Singh) by disqualification in 3:18. Khali enjoyed an early advantage in the match but Taker was primed to take the victory. Before he could however, Big Show came out and attacked Taker, causing the referee to call for the bell.

Show thought Khali was with him and handed him a chair to attack Undertaker with. Khali chopped the chair to the mat and took off. Taker grabbed the chair and hit Show with it...

Twill's Two Cents: Am I finally getting what I asked for?

5. Maria defeated Maryse, Victoria, Brie Bella, and Natalya to become the number one contender for the Diva's Championship in 2:09. This was a "fuzzy dice on a pole match." Maria and Maryse fought to the end but Maria grabbed the dice first. Wow...

Twill's Two Cents: Maria vs. Michelle? Hmmm.

6. Jesse and Festus defeated Ryan Braddock and Kenny Dykstra in 3:48. Helms popped up yet again (fine by me) and pointed out that Dykstra loses almost as much as MVP, almost. Festus scored the pin with the flapjack...

7. Vladimir Kozlov defeated Jeff Hardy in 8:22. Kozlov cut an 80s style promo saying he would not be voted in because the fans would fear him becoming champion. Kozlov was overwhelmingly in control early in the match...

Hardy had an offensive flurry that included two Whispers in the Wind, but Kozlov scored the surprisingly clean victory with the battering ram...

After the match, Triple H and Kozlov went face to face with Kozlov eyeballing H's belt...

Twill's Two Cents: I guess WWE wants Kozlov vs. Triple H. If I was Jeff Hardy, I would still be ready to go at Cyber Sunday.

Arcademan:
WWE RAW Results: 10-20-08

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (Direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed to in-ring results only.

1 -- JILLIAN HALL & KATIE LEA vs. CANDICE MICHELLE & KELLY KELLY

Action broke down here at 3:00, then Candice smashed Katie with a spinning heel kick to the jaw. Candice cleared Katie to the outside, then back in the ring, Kelly dropped Jillian with the Rocker dropper in center ring for the pin and the win. By the way, Kelly is a sailor and Candice is Marilyn Monroe at the PPV.

WINNERS: Kelly Kelly & Candice Michelle in 4:00. Entertaining opener and a unique way to kick off the show. Nothing really to complain about here.

2 -- STONE COLD STEVE HAASTIN vs. JBL

Haastin immediately nailed a Thesz Press on JBL, then stomped a mudhole in him in the corner for a nearfall. JBL had enough after blocking a Stunner, so he nailed a big boot and the Clothesline from Hell for the easy win. After the match, JBL took the mic and said that's the bottom line 'cause JBL said so.

WINNER: JBL in 2:00. Another filler segment involving JBL and Haas that will hopefully lead somewhere at some point sometime. Anytime. Just take it somewhere. (n/a)

3 -- REY MYSTERIO vs. SNITSKY

Snitsky tried to charge Rey in the corner, but Rey slipped out of harm's way and Snitsky crashed hard into the turnbuckles. Rey then landed a double knee stomp. He tried a huracanrana on Snitsky, but there was a slippage and Snitsky simply flung himself onto the middle rope. Rey followed with the 619, then hit the big springboard splash for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Rey in 2:00. Well, that was unrealistic in many ways, but the casual fans just want to see Rey in a position of control rather than getting his brains beat in by Kane, so that will work to set up Rey vs. Kane at Cyber Sunday. (n/a)

4 -- THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON vs. C.M. PUNK & KOFI KINGSTON

After a few moments of action, they went to the traditional commercial-lead-in-spot where Morrison found himself on the outside, then the babyfaces dumped Miz over the top rope onto Morrison to get a cheer from the crowd. They didn't go to commercial, though, and the match picked up in the ring where Miz came back on Punk with clubbing forearm blows. Kofi then tagged in and wanted a springboard move in the corner, but Morrison kicked him in the face from the apron with the ref distracted. The heels then ganged up on Kofi to isolate him from Punk. They went to break with Kofi firmly grounded on the mat.

By the way, is there still a brand split in this company? Just a thought during the commercial break. In any event, heels continued to work over Kofi at the 10:00 mark. Punk finally entered the ring to break up a pin and get the fans back into the action. Morrison then sat down on Kofi with a modified Dragon Sleeper while Kofi fought back with clubbing forearms. Kofi finally rolled through to his corner and Punk took the hot tag to begin cleaning house. Punk slapped Morrison, then kicked him in the kisser. He nailed the high knee in the corner, then a running bulldog. Punk made a believable mid-air adjustment on a springboard move, then hit a powerslam. In the confusion of the match breaking down, Miz made a blind tag on Morrison while Punk gave Morrison the G2S. Miz then rolled up Punk from behind for a surprise three count on Punk for the win. Afterward, Punk was in disbelief as he held his hands on his head.

WINNERS: Miz & Morrison in 12:00.

5 -- BATISTA vs. WILLIAM REGAL

The bell sounded and Batista gave Regal the Batistabomb for an easy pin. Jericho then slipped into the ring. He kept screaming at Regal to get up so he could get an easy pin, but Regal played dead for several moments.

5b -- CHRIS JERICHO vs. WILLIAM REGAL

The ref finally approved of Regal's status and the bell sounded. Jericho nailed the codebreaker on Regal for the easy pin. Adamle then told Jericho he is starting the next match. Out came the World's Strongest man, Mark Henry.

5c -- CHRIS JERICHO vs. MARK HENRY

Henry dominated the early-going, but he missed with the big splash at 2:00. Jericho tried to follow with the Lionsault, but Henry kicked out. Jericho then removed the turnbuckle and grabbed the World Title belt. He smashed Henry in the head, but the ref had turned around and he saw the clean blow. Jericho was DQ'ed, which apparently means absolutely nothing without any consequences.

5d -- BATISTA vs. MARK HENRY

Henry shoved Batista aside, but Batista came back with a demonstrative spinebuster for the pin and the win. Adamle then announced Kane as the third opponent, with Jericho having to start the match. Lawler said Jericho still hasn't earned Adamle's respect.

5e -- CHRIS JERICHO vs. KANE

They returned from break with Jericho and Kane battling back and forth. Jericho shoved Kane to the corner and wanted to work on the knee, but Kane smacked him across the mouth and the loud noise popped the crowd. Jericho tried to come back with the Walls of Jericho, but Kane flipped him across the ring. Kane missed badly with a flying elbow, then Jericho tried the codebreaker, but Kane fought him off. Kane tried a top rope move as Batista cheered, but Jericho crotched him. Kane then came back with a flying clothesline for a nearfall. He wanted a chokeslam, but Jericho elbowed out of the grip and Kane dumped him to the floor. Batista stalked Jericho on the floor, then Kane yanked Jericho back into the ring and nailed a big boot for the pin and the win.

5g -- BATISTA vs. KANE

Before the bell sounded, Jericho distracted Kane, who turned around and took a spinebuster from Batista. Batista then made the cover for the win.

WINNER: Batista 3-0 and Jericho 1-2 in 13:00. They eventually got the point across about Jericho being a weak champion with no self-respect and Batista being lined up for an easy win at Cyber Sunday, but the match set-up was just not explained well before it unfolded. Once things unfolded, it made sense, but the live audience was just left in the dark and didn't know how to react to what was happening. Not a good way to sell a PPV. (n/a)

Post-match: Jericho held his ribs in pain. Batista was all-smiles and celebrated the inevitable in six days. Jericho tried to look tough while in pain, then Batista stared down at him. Jericho held up the World Title belt while the announcers gave a final sales pitch for Sunday to close the show.

Arcademan:
ECW on SciFi Results: 10-21-08

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report).

1 -- JACK SWAGGER vs. BRETT BADERY

Swagger with an 80-pound weight advantage in this one, according to the announcers. Swagger landed a hard knee lift early in the match, then Swagger picked up Double B and nailed a gut wrench powerbomb for the pin and the win. After they replayed footage of the squash, Grisham approached Swagger in the ring for a few words. Swagger smiled it up heelishly as Grisham referenced Tommy Dreamer as someone Swagger has been picking on. Swagger thought about Dreamer, smiled, then abruptly asked, "Tommy Who?" He then smiled and walked out of the ring.

WINNER: Swagger in 1:00. Squash and an annoying (in a good way) "promo." Good work from Swagger. He's memorable and going places with this gimmick. (n/a)

2 -- THE MIZ (w/John Morrison) vs. SHAD GASPAR (w/J.T.G.)

Classic heel move from Miz to start things off, with him ducking into the corner for a rope break after acting tough. Shad came back with a left hand jab, then tried a back body drop, but the move came off rather awkwardly. Shad followed with a back elbow smash and a scoop slam for a nearfall while Morrison shouted encouragement to Miz. Shad then tried a clothesline against the ropes, but Miz ducked and Shad ate the floor before taking a baseball slide dropkick into the guardrail. Grisham interjected that things are getting heated on the 'Net between the two sides, to the point where they had to be pulled apart in the parking lot before the show tonight. Striker suggested Miz & Morrison as the Hollywood Brunettes to counter the Hollywood Blondes. Grisham then suggested Miz is playa hating on Shad working him over in the ring. Crickets. Silence. Grisham repeated and Striker asked him to check the mirror.

Shad made his comeback at 4:00 and fired up the crowd before slingshotting Miz across the top rope. Shad nailed a flying elbow smash, then Morrison tried to run interference. It back-fired, as JTG tripped Miz from the floor and Shad nailed a lift-up slam for a nearfall. Morrison then hopped onto the apron and smashed Shad from behind with an enziguiri kick. Ref saw the blow and he called for a DQ. Miz and Morrison then regrouped on the floor and Cryme Tyme shouted down to them standing tall in the ring.

WINNER: Shad via DQ in 5:00. Good match. Basic TV work, but it flowed well and Miz wrestled well in his lead role as the heel guiding Shad through the match. Nice set-up for Cyber Sunday if fans vote for that match on Sunday. (*1/2)

3 -- FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. EVAN BOURNE vs. MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas)

Finlay and Evan tried to double up on Henry to start things off, but Henry fought them off one by one. Repeat. It was tough to catch Striker's stupendous commentary with Atlas shouting instructions at Henry during the match. Henry then shoved Finlay hard across the ring with a hard Irish Whip before stacking up Bourne in the corner. Atlas asked them how that felt, then Henry stomped on Bourne's throat. Finlay tried to come back with a dive from the top rope, but Finlay flew into a big powerslam. Henry charged Bourne, but Bourne yanked down the top rope and Henry ate the floor. Finlay and Bourne then picked up a battle with Finlay essentially dominating into a shoulder breaker for a nearfall.

The match broke down at 3:00 when Bourne caused Finlay and Henry to knock heads and Finlay kinda rolled out of a three count on a crucifix pin by Bourne. Suddenly, there was a spot where Henry caught Bourne in mid-air and back flipped him onto Finlay, but Bourne scored a nearfall on Finlay in the process. Henry then restored order by knocking down both men as they grabbed a break.

They returned with Henry tearing apart Bourne, then walking over to Finlay to get a piece of him. I just enjoy watching Henry decimate an opponent or, in this case, opponents. Bourne tried to fight back against Henry, but Henry wasn't moving. Finlay found a way to knock down the big oak tree, though, with a quick chopblock to the left knee. Bourne and Finlay then double dropkicked Henry to the floor, leading to Finlay vs. Bourne one-on-one. Finlay was favoring his left shoulder and chest area following Henry's work, but he caught Bourne for a backbreaker across his knee. Finlay was either really selling here or very injured.

Suddenly, Henry returned to the action and kicked Finlay in the back. Finlay tried to come back with a crucifix pin, then Bourne hopped onto Henry's back and Henry slammed both men hard to the mat. Henry then started pounding on Finlay before missing with a shoulder tackle in the corner. Finlay followed with a nasty-looking DDT while favoring his chest muscle. Well, this thing totally slowed down as Henry and Finlay battled and Finlay took the audience out of the action because of how much pain he appeared to be in - selling or not selling.

They went to the finish with Atlas catching Hornswoggle on the floor and they rebuilt heat with Horny in jeopardy. Finlay made the save, though, and smashed Henry with the shillelagh in the confusion. Bourne then re-entered the picture out of nowhere and took out Finlay with a double knee smash to the head. With Henry KO'ed from the shillelagh shot, Bourne quickly went up top and nailed a sweet Shooting Star Press on Henry for the pin and the win. Crowd came to life for the finish as Grisham gave the final pitch for Cyber Sunday with Bourne celebrating.

WINNER: Bourne in 14:00. Had its moments. Had some really, really slow moments as well with Finlay appearing to be in tremendous pain clutching his chest muscle. If he was selling, he was over-selling because the audience was moved to silence watching him. Bourne picks up a nice TV win here and Henry makes it 0-2 to start the week. (**)

Arcademan:
TNA Impact! Results: 10-23-08

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete and totally boring report [only because the show was THAT bad!!!]). Condensed here to in-ring results only...which were bad enough  -_-

1 -- VELVET SKY (w/Angelina Love and Cute Kip) vs. CHRISTY HEMME

Very small-time look to the ringside area. Things became graphic at 2:00 when Velvet mounted Christy in the corner and rammed Christy's head into the turnbuckles while thrusting. Christy had enough and fired back after kinda ducking a clothesline. She then wanted the top rope fire crotch drop and connected for the pin and the win. Afterward, Christy smartly bailed from the ring to avoid a post-match attack.

WINNER: Velvet Sky in 3:00. OK opener. Christy gets her revenge, but the Beautiful People will easily get their heat back in Orlando. (1/2*)

Oh, and by the way, 30 minutes of TV and we've had 3 minutes of wrestling.

2 -- X Division champion SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. JAY LETHAL -- X Division Title match

Match started with Lethal nailing a suicide dive on the floor. Back in the ring, Lethal wanted a top rope elbow smash, but Bashir moved in time. Bashir then grappled Lethal and gave him an implant DDT. That was good enough for three, giving Bashir a quick win.

WINNER: Bashir in 2:00. That's it? Two minutes to an X Division Title match. Well, no reason to be shocked, actually. X Division hasn't meant anything in a few years. (n/a)

3 -- TEXT TAG TEAM GAUNTLET BRAWL

Ray and Storm battled, then Roode came out third to help Storm double up on Ray. Now, viewers can text their vote for what weapon - tables, ladders, or chairs - should be used in the match. Devon came out fourth, meaning Team 3D and Beer Money received the fewest votes. Hernandez came out fifth and accepted a 3D for good measure. Homicide then came out sixth, bringing three complete teams into the match. No eliminations thus far, as three teams exchanged blows. After another countdown, Matt Morgan came out seventh. The distance from the entrance ramp to the ring must be like 10 feet total.

Morgan came in hot and started eliminating folks left and right. LAX was done. Abyss then came out as the final participant. He was waving his arm toward Morgan, who told him to stay back. Suddenly, in super-slow-motion, Morgan was dumped over the top rope and he gingerly landed on the floor. Penzer said the fans have vote for tables as being legal now. Ray and Devon's eyes lit up, but Devon was already eliminated. In any event, 3D set up a table in the ring and pulled out the lighter fluid. Sure, just water down the flaming table gimmick while we're at it. Abyss then snuck into the ring and knocked down both men to draw boos. He picked up the lighter fluid, though, and surveyed the crowd. He took too long to think and Devon low-blowed him from behind. 3D then dumped Abyss over the top rope for an elimination.

Fans chanted for fire as it was Beer Money vs. 3D doing battle now. 3D took Roode through the gas-soaked table with a 3D, and Devon had the pin, but Jacqueline yanked the ref out of the ring. Are the belts on the line, by the way? In the confusion, Storm spewed alcohol in Devon's eyes and Devon dropped to the mat. Storm then made the cover for the win.

WINNERS: Beer Money in 11:00. Just a messy gimmick tag match. Too much happening at once and they managed to book an unintentional boo-fest for Abyss after completely wasting the sympathy effect for Abyss selling injuries from the flaming table spot at the PPV. (BAD)

4 -- Knockouts champion TAYLOR WILDE vs. AWESOME KONG (w/Raisha Saeed)

Fast-paced start with Kong brick-walling Taylor off the ropes, then missing with a big splash. Taylor tried a top rope dive, but Kong smashed her in mid-air with a clothesline. Kong started to dominate while the fans had a dueling chant of "Let's go Taylor" and "Let's go Kong." Taylor tried to fight back, but Kong dropped her with a chokeslam for a nearfall. Kong tried to end it with an Awesomebomb, but Taylor slipped out and nailed a series of dropkicks that rocked Kong. She then went up top for a missile dropkick that took Kong off her feet for a close two count. Taylor suddenly nailed a huracanrana, then Raisha yanked Taylor's foot from the floor. Taylor unloaded on Raisha, but that distraction allowed Kong to grab her and nail a huge Awesomebomb. Kong with the pin and the win to capture the belt.

WINNER: Kong in 4:00 to capture the Knockouts Title. You could tell from the start this was going to be a very fast match. TNA did them an injustice with only four minutes allotted, as the match was very good and could have been even better. (*1/2)

5 -- A.J. STYLES & SAMOA JOE vs. TNA World Hvt. champion STING & KEVIN NASH

Nash and Styles started things off with Nash landing a big knee to the gut. Joe then asked for a tag and he was granted a tag. Nash then quickly bailed from the ring to avoid Joe, leading to Sting and Joe having Slapfest 2008. Joe landed a hard elbow smash in the corner, then brushed off Sting in Nash's direction. Good intensity here. Styles then came in and nailed a leaping scissors knee drop on Sting. He then took a shot at Nash, who answered with a clothesline on Styles from the apron. Heels in control and break time. Dang, we can't even get two minutes of action before grabbing a break. Unbelievable misappropriation of time tonight.

They returned with the heels in control working over Styles at 5:00. Sting then missed with a clothesline and Styles nailed an awesome Pele soccer kick on an unsuspecting Sting. Great sequence. Nash then took a tag and Joe took the appropriate hot tag to set off Joe vs. Nash. Nash wanted a clothesline, but Joe ducked and nailed a leaping kick and sentaun splash for a nearfall. Sting tried a Stinger Splash on Joe in the corner, but Joe moved and Nash ate the Splash. In the confusion, Nash grabbed the TNA Title belt and smashed Joe in the face when Joe was thinking about a suicide dive on Sting. Nash made the cover on Joe for the win. And the crowd went wild for Nash.

WINNERS: Nash & Sting in 7:00. 3 1/2 minutes of in-ring action 3 1/2 minutes of commercials. And this for a potential PPV main event featuring four of the top stars in TNA. Ridiculous.

Arcademan:
WWE Smackdown Results: 10-24-08

Results courtesy of ProWrestling.net (direct link to Twilling's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1. Natalya and Maryse defeated Michelle McCool and Maria in 2:12. Hurricane Helms' comments now have an official name; "Hurrapop." He said, "Divas, giggedty. I'm just sayin'." Jesse and Festus came out to mariachi music and Festus in a mariachi outfit. He handed Maria a flower. When Michelle tried to tag her, Maria was distracted and Maryse rolled Michelle up for the three count. When the bell rang, Festus chased the mariachi band back up the ramp...

Twill's Two Cents: You know, Meghan is beautiful, but she is a badass too. What she does in terms of workouts is extremely impressive.

2. Carlito and Primo Colon defeated Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely in a non-title match in Carlito and Primo graduated to matching pants. Chavo and Bam were not getting along too well. Carlito used a blind tag to help Primo double team Bam. They continued to utilize solid teamwork. Chavo verbally degraded Bam any opportunity he could. Bam accidentally hit Chavo. Carlito tagged in and was a house of fire.

Bam wanted to know what Chavo's problem was. Chavo slapped him and quickly jumped to the floor. Carlito used the distraction to hit the Backstabber for the win. After the match, Hurricane popped up again and mockingly said he could not handle it if Chavo and Bam broke up...

Twill's Two Cents: The Twilling is a little under the weather tonight and this show is not doing much to keep my head out of my folded arms.

3. R-Truth and Kung Fu Naki defeated MVP and Shelton Benjamin in 3:56. Hurricane popped up and asked, "MVP, where is your tunnel? Let me guess, you lost that too." Ouch! In case you missed it before, Shelton will be defending the United States Championship against MVP, R-Truth, or Festus on WWE.com before Cyber Sunday.

MVP struggled with the Ricky Steamboat like deep armdrags by Funaki. Benjamin tagged in and gained the advantage for his team. MVP tagged in and resumed the success. Naki (I guess I'll go with that) tagged in and hit the Karate Kid kick on MVP for the win...

Twill's Two Cents: Is this a demotion for Truth and is Naki really being pushed? If this is a short bit of fun, I'm all for it. I just do not want it to stall Truth's rise towards the U.S. Championship.

4. The Brian Kendrick (with Ezekiel Jackson) defeated Super Crazy in 1:06. Quick squash. The Brian hit The Kendrick, as reported here by The Twilling, for the win. After the match Ezekiel added insult to injury by hitting a super Rock Bottom...

5. The Undertaker vs. Triple H in a non-title match ended in a no contest in 13:49. After a slow start, Taker hit a series of right hands and a closeline for the first nearfall at the 2:30 mark. Taker began working on the left arm and shoulder of Triple H with a hammer lock. Taker tried Old School but H countered it. Taker then crotched himself on the middle rope trying to hit a closeline on H in the corner.

Triple H decided to single out the left leg and knee of The Undertaker. Both men hit a double closeline and were slow to get to their feet. They then exchanged right hands with Taker finally gaining the advantage after a headbutt. Taker hit the snake eyes but Triple H countered the running big boot with a high knee for a two count. Taker countered out of a Pedigree and slingshot Triple H into the top turnbuckle.

Taker successfully hit the running boot followed by a leg drop for another two count. He went for Old School again and again, he failed. Triple H crotched Taker on the top rope. H climbed to the second rope and hit a superplex for a two count. The action spilled to the floor. Taker hit the apron leg drop for yet another nearfall.

Taker gave the throat slash gesture. He went for the Last Ride but H slid out the backdoor and hit a reverse neckbreaker for a two count. Taker tried a chokeslam but Triple H countered with a spinebuster for another two count. Both men attempted their finishers but they countered each other. With Taker in the corner, H went to the second rope and landed some right hands. Taker hit the Last Ride but could not make the cover.

Big Show hit the ring and attacked Taker. The referee called for the bell. Triple H grabbed a chair and nailed Show across the back. Upon trying a second chair shot, Show hit a chokeslam on Triple H. He then hit Taker with two chair shots before leaving the ring...

Twill's Two Cents: Fantastic match; cheap finish. Triple H and The Undertaker worked a textbook match. It was beyond solid and something the young guys should watch. Granted, the nearfalls were not as believable as they would have been on a pay-per-view. Regardless, it was a very good match. The Big Show interference was predictable and made sense, but disappointing nonetheless.

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