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Arcademan:
WWE Extreme Rules PPV Results: 6-7-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's on-going report).

1 -- U.S. champion KOFI KINGSTON vs. WILLIAM REGAL vs. MATT HARDY vs. MVP -- U.S. Title match

Bell sounded and all four men stood around to feel out the match. Hardy and Regal then took each other to the floor, leaving Kofi and MVP in the ring for a "good sportsmanship" exchange. Suddenly there was a car wreck involving everyone except Hardy, so he slipped into the ring and tried to pin any of the three, but they all kicked out. Hardy dominated, then Kofi surprised him with a clothesline. He then double slammed Hardy and Regal and hit the Boom Boom leg drop on both men. Nearfall only, though. Kofi then dropkicked MVP through the ropes. Regal snatched Kofi from behind for a t-bone suplex into Hardy that looked off, then MVP Chono booted Regal in the face. MVP nailed Hardy with a flurry of rights before hitting a knee drop. MVP wanted to go Ballin' on Hardy and he connected, but Regal broke up a pin and smashed MVP in the corner with a running knee. Regal grunted into an Irish whip to the ropes on Kofi, but Kofi rebounded off the ropes into the Jamaican buzzsaw kick on Regal for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Kofi at 6:38. Chaotic match. Felt like they were trying to get a ton of spots in with only six-to-seven minutes to work with. Had some cool moments, but really seemed like too much in too little time. This was a WWE PPV opener, not a TNA opener, right? (*1/2)


 
2 -- IC champion REY MYSTERIO vs. CHRIS JERICHO -- Intercontinental Title match -- No Holds Barred

Bell sounded and Rey jumped Jericho right off the bat. Match moved to the floor where Rey rammed Jericho into the announce table, then picked up the table cover and smashed Jericho with it. Rey blasted Jericho into the ring steps, then hit a splash off the top rope on the floor. Rey in control as they moved back into the ring where Rey scored a two count on a roll-up, then Jericho rolled through into a pin with a hook of the tights for a two count. Jericho tried to follow with a roll-through on a sunset flip into the double-foot dropkick, but Jericho with a sweet counter into an inside cradle for a two count. Jericho popped up and smashed Rey in the head. Rey played dead, then Jericho chucked Rey stomach-first across the mat through the ropes and into the guardrail on the fly.

Match moved to the floor where Jericho suplexed Rey onto the ring padding before bringing him back into the ring for a two count. Jericho tried to remove the mask, but Rey covered his face just as Jericho teased the exposure. Jericho then missed with a corner splash, but ate the ringpost and fell to the floor. Rey measured Jericho and hit a suicide dive around the corner turnbuckle on the floor. Sweet. Back in the ring, Rey with a head scissors followed by a huracanrana for a two count. Rey set up the 619, but Jericho caught Rey in mid-air with a spinning backbreaker for a two count. Great sequence. Jericho then blocked another huracanrana and Rey avoided a Lionsault. Rey hit a reverse 619 on Jericho, then went for his trademark springboard finish off the top, but Jericho nailed an amazing codebreaker counter in mid-air. Goodness. Jericho sold needing extra time to make the cover after his finisher, allowing Rey time to kick out.

Jericho, stunned, went to the floor and grabbed a chair. He smacked it against the ring steps to give the prep code to Rey, who came to his feet and dropkicked the chair kinda into Jericho's face. Effect was more important than actual contact. Rey then picked up the chair and did an RVD running surfboard on Jericho for another nearfall. Fans on their feet as Rey set up the chair in the corner to give Jericho a drop toe hold into the chair. Rey then tried to run off the chair onto Jericho, but Jericho countered with the Walls of Jericho. Rey was close enough to the chair, though, to pick it up and smash Jericho in the face to escape. Rey then wanted the 619, but Jericho countered in mid-kick by ripping the mask off. Rey was concerned with losing the mask, so Jericho rolled him up for the pin to grab the title. Afterward, Rey covered his face and rolled to the floor. Jericho then held up the IC Title and Rey's mask, following up on his guarantee to grab both.

WINNER: Jericho at 14:43 to capture the Intercontinental Title. Excellent undercard match for the second straight WWE PPV. They used the gimmicks and floor effectively with another round of terrific counters and reversals. Follow-up on Smackdown should be interesting. (***3/4)
 
3 -- UMAGA vs. C.M. PUNK -- Samoan Strap match

They had a video game-like graphic in the top right corner of the screen showing both wrestlers needing to touch all of the turnbuckles successively. Umaga is Red light and Punk is Green light. Graphic a bit behind the action as Ross tried to explain that a new sequence would have to be started each time there's a "reset." Action started with basic tease spots before Punk hit three turnbuckles, only to have Umaga yank him back into a clothesline to prevent him from touching the fourth turnbuckles. Umaga tried to the four-spot, but Punk yanked him over the top rope to the floor. Reset those red and green lights. Punk then did a tug of war trying to reach all four turnbuckles as Umaga pulled him from the floor. Umaga blocked four, then went up top, but Punk yanked him off the top to the mat. Punk tried the four-play again, but Umaga tug-of-warred him across the ring. In the process, Punk countered a Samoan Spike attempt with the Go 2 Sleep, then he fell backward into the fourth turnbuckle to touch all four in succession for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Punk at 8:59. "Just there" match. Crowd bought into some of the "nearfalls" at the end, so that was good. Match won't be remembered, though. (*1/4)
 
4 -- ECW champion CHRISTIAN vs. TOMMY DREAMER vs. JACK SWAGGER -- ECW Title match -- Hardcore Rules match

Bell sounded and Swagger slipped to the outside to play cat and mouse with Dreamer, who took a fist to the face from Swagger. Back in the ring, Swagger gave Dreamer a back drop and Dreamer rolled to the outside. On the outside, Dreamer grabbed some weapons. Christian also grabbed some weapons. Striker called Dreamer's trademark weapon a Singapore stick. LOL. Mathews told him it's a Singapore Cane. Christian and Dreamer then blasted Swagger from both sides with canes and sticks and trashcan lids. Dreamer then gave Christian a pumphandle slam using the Kendo stick in the crotch. Swagger recovered and blasted Dreamer into the corner, but Dreamer back dropped Swagger over the top rope to the floor. Dreamer picked up a trashcan, then did his rolling Cannonball dive off the apron onto both Swagger and Christian.

Back in the ring, Dreamer measured Swagger for the "E-C-W chest pound" basement dropkick, but Christian cut him off from the floor. Christian then slipped into the ring and stole Dreamer's ECW basement dropkick on Swagger. After Christian and Dreamer battled, Swagger recovered and smashed Christian with a Kendo stick. Swagger then press slammed Christian for a two count. Swagger went to the corner to remove the top turnbuckle, but Dreamer blasted him from the floor with a stick shot. Dreamer re-entered the ring and slammed Christian onto a trashcan lid. He missed with an elbow drop, though, as the crowd chanted for tables. No tables, though.

Swagger and Dreamer introduced more weapons into the ring, including a big red STOP sign. Dreamer then took a belly-to-belly suplex from Swagger, who introduced a wrestling hold into the match. They set up a Tower of Doom spot in the corner and Christian powerbombed Swagger, who suplexed Dreamer onto a trashcan. Swagger then put Christian into the exposed steel, but Dreamer blasted Swagger with the Kendo stick from behind. Dreamer then grappled Swagger and nailed the Dreamer DDT in center ring. Dreamer with the pin for the win to capture the ECW Title. He did the big celebration in-ring, then in the crowd. Nice moment.

WINNER: Dreamer at 9:40 to capture the ECW Title. Nice match using the gimmicks and stipulations while playing off the ECW Title quest storyline for Dreamer. Dreamer did his part leading to the PPV selling this as his last possible WWE match, so it made the finish seem that much more surprising. Well done. (**1/4)
 
5 -- Miss WrestleMania VICKIE GUERRERO & CHAVO GUERRERO vs. SANTINO(A) MARELLA -- Hog Pen match

Chavo took a bath in the mud early on, but he knocked down Santina. Chavo thought Santina was done, so Vickie came in to make the pin. Santina popped up to life, though. Chavo tried to slop Santina with a bucket full of pig feed, but Santina ducked and Vickie was slopped by Chavo. Santina then slopped Chavo and punched the bucket into Chavo's face. Santina KO'ed Chavo, then made the cover on Vickie for the pin and the win. Afterward, Vickie and Chavo yelled at each other with Vickie taking out her frustration on Chavo. Santina celebrated as the crown was re-awarded to him/her/it.

WINNER: Santino(a) at 3:30 to capture the Miss WrestleMania crown. Please, oh please, let this be over with so Santino can return to the babyface program where he discovers his ability to wrestle. "Buffer" segment to allow the announcers to get all of their dumb jokes out of the way. (n/a)
 
Continued on next post...

Arcademan:
WWE Extreme Rules PPV Results: 6-7-09

Continued from previous post...

6 -- WWE champion RANDY ORTON vs. BATISTA -- WWE Title match -- Steel cage match

Bell sounded and Orton quickly jumped to the cage wall and tried to climb over. Batista yanked him down, though. Nice tease early on, playing off rumors of Batista being injured and this possibly being a short match. Batista then went to work on Orton with shoulder thrusts in the corner. Orton then tried to slither out the cage door, but Batista pulled him back inside the cage by his ankles. Orton stomped down on Batista in the corner before contemplating his next move. Batista took advantage of Orton's pause by hitting a spinebuster. Batista wanted the B-Bomb, but Orton back dropped Batista into a cage wall. Orton then teased leaving the cage, but he measured Batista for The Punt. Batista moved, though, and Orton tried to Spiderman the wall. Batista countered by grappling Orton for the Batistabomb, but Orton slipped out. Tease of the RKO, then Batista re-grappled Orton and delivered the Batistabomb. Batista then made the cover and scored the pin to capture the WWE Title. Whoa. Batista took the belt and headed up the stage while Orton sold frustration. Batista struggled to lift his right arm a little bit celebrating with the title belt.

WINNER: Batista at 7:10 to capture the WWE Title. Seems like forever since Batista won World Title gold. You also wouldn't think they would put the WWE Title on an injured wrestler, so we'll have to see where this is going, especially when Orton gets his re-match. Nice match, albeit short for Raw's title match. Quick pace made for a good story. (**)

7 -- JOHN CENA vs. BIG SHOW -- Submissions match

Show with an early clothesline, then he teased the Camel Clutch, but Cena snuck underneath Show and went for the STFU. Couldn't apply it, though, and the two men went back to their corners to re-think strategy. Show quickly regained control and landed a running splash in the corner. Cena avoided another splash, then Cena seemed to be setting up his FKS combo with a running bulldog, but Show blocked the bulldog attempt by shoving Cena clear across the ring to the outside. Cena tried to come back with a shoulder tackle, but Show shooed him away like a fly to end that noise. Show then applied the Masterlock and Cena slowly broke free, but Show grounded him with a headbutt. Cena blocked another corner charge and hopped on Show's back for a sleeperhold. Show fought, but he eventually fell to one knee. Show sold sleep, but then slammed Cena to escape. Show woke up very quickly and nailed an overhead toss facebuster out of the powerbomb position.

Show then stalked Cena to begin his formula match of the one move, walk around, one move, walk around. Show palmed Cena's head ala Khali before taking Cena to the ropes to squeeze the life out of Cena. Show did the step-on-the-chest-and-walk-off spot before going to the second rope for a Vader Bomb. Cena moved, though, which popped the crowd. Cena then wanted the Hogan-to-Andre scoop slam, but Show fell on top of Cena and locked in a submission hold ... I think. Looked like he was hugging him. Cena broke out, then Show wanted a chokeslam, but Cena blocked, so Show dumped Cena over the top rope to the floor. And we continue slowly but surely. At 12:00, Show followed to the outside and picked up Cena to ram him ribs-first into the ringpost. More work on the stomach and ribs. Crowd quiet. Lawler said a hush has come over the crowd. Back in the ring, Show went to the resthold of all restholds...the abdominal stretch. Show clutched Cena's ribs to make it look good.

Cena broke free, then nailed a DDT. Cena then went for the STFU, but Show kicked him out of the ring. Cena then tried a top rope move, but Show caught him in mid-air for a bear hug. Cena broke free, then hit a flip-over facebuster. He then set up the Five Knuckle Shuffle after brushing the dirt off his shoulder. Show popped up and wanted a chokeslam, but Cena countered with the FU in center ring. Crowd like "what next?" Cena then tried the STFU again, but Show elbowed him in the face. Looks like he could have done the Rings of Saturn after the FU. Show then came to his feet and landed the big ol' KO punch. Cena rolled to the floor selling a headache as he was sprawled out on the ground. On the floor, Show tried to ram Cena into the ringpost, but Cena blocked and rammed Show into the ringpost. Cena then ran up top and hit the guillotine leg drop as Show was underneath the ropes. Suddenly, Cena slapped on a unique STF with Show's leg in between the ropes so he could put his entire body around Show's neck with the other part of the STF hold. Camera zoomed in tight as Show tried to fight the hold. Looked like the "Gas man" from Dumb & Dumber just as he was sweating and calling for his meds with Harry & Lloyd in the diner. Show, on the verge of passing out, finally gave up on trying to fight the hold and he tapped out. "John Cena with another miracle!" Cole declared.

WINNER: Cena at 19:00 via submission. Up and down match with a dramatic conclusion that the crowd really bought into. Had some moments where I'm thinking, "Gosh, this is so boring, grrrr" followed by some intriguing sequences. Tough match to evaluate. Either you were bored out of your mind or intrigued waiting to see how Cena would keep escaping and how he would eventually win the match so you knew SuperCena was winning. (**1/2)

Concluded in next post...

Arcademan:
WWE Extreme Rules PPV Results: 6-7-09

Continued from previous post...

8 -- World Hvt. champion EDGE vs. JEFF HARDY -- World Title match -- Ladder match

Announcers talked up the history of ladder matches as Ross said no one is more proficient in the ladder match than Edge and Hardy. Grisham then referenced Shawn Michaels, thankfully, and the WM X ladder match with HBK and Razor Ramon (Scott Hall). Match moved to the floor where Edge dropkicked a ladder into Jeff. Back in the ring, Jeff back-dropped Edge over the top rope with Edge landing arm-first across a ladder. Jeff quickly set up a ladder and went climbing for the title, but Edge cut him off from behind. Jeff then got tangled up in the ladder after Edge shoved him into it. Edge then wanted the spear into a ladder, but Jeff moved and Edge ate the ladder rungs. Jeff then did hit lift-up corner dropkick sending the ladder into Edge's face. Edge came right back with a Sharpshooter inside the ladder, causing Jeff to scream out in pain. Edge then climbed the ladder, but Jeff dropkicked the ladder and Edge took a flat-back bump right on the mat with his legs cut out from under him. Hardy then set up a ladder upside down and he gut-bustered Edge across the deals that hold up a ladder. Crowd reacted for that first-time-ever-I-think spot.

At 10:00, Jeff pulled out a big ladder and dropped Edge in center-ring with the Twist of Fate. Hardy then measured the opportunity and scaled the big ladder with his eyes on the World Title prize hanging above the ring. Edge got up, though, and watched as Jeff tried to swing onto the title belt. Jeff had his hands on the belt, but he couldn't yank it down, so Edge yanked him down without the title belt. Jeff sold a leg injury, then Edge went back on the offensive. Jeff quickly recovered, though, and walked up the giant ladder for a Whisper in the Wind on Edge. Jeff rolled over to the ring apron and picked up his time cue from the ref ringside before grabbing another ladder. He rolled it into the ring and set it up next to the giant ladder. Hardy then clotheslined himself and Edge over the top rope just because. On the floor, Edge set up a ladder across the ring apron and guardrail. Edge wanted a suplex across the horizontally-positioned ladder, but Jeff whipped him into the guardrail. Edge then whipped Jeff into the ring steps.

At 15:00, both men exchanged control once again on the floor. Ross talked about both men willing to shorten their lives careers for the World Title gold. Jeff then put Edge on the horizontally-placed ladder and set up another ladder nearby. Hardy teased a dive, but Edge got up and they battled up on the ladder Hardy was on. Gradually, they tipped the ladder over together and both men crashed right through the h-p-ladder. Hardy's knee took the direct impact and his shoulder took the secondary impact. Right shoulder took the impact on the fall from the ladder to the ground. Yeoch. Several replays later, both men were back in the ring battling. Hardy started climbing and he had one hand on the belt, but Edge was on the giant ladder. Hardy saw him and blocked a mid-air spear with a mid-air Twist of Fate down to the mat. Not perfect, but looked pretty good nevertheless.

Just before 20:00, Hardy and Edge teased a race to the top. Edge knocked Hardy off the ladder, causing screaming from the crowd, then Hardy pulled Edge's legs through the ladder while standing underneath the ladder. Edge was trapped with his legs dangling through the rungs of the ladder. Hardy then scaled the ladder and retrieved the World Title belt to a roar from the crowd. Edge paused his leg-dangling in disbelief, then Hardy stared down at him with the title belt in hand.

WINNER: Hardy at 20:10 to capture the World Hvt. Title. Epic ladder match. They really made great use of the stipulation and props at their disposal. Both men took some risks that will be looked at as foolish ten years from now, but in the moment of trying to live up to the main event billing for the match, they pulled off a great story. Whether it was worth the risk of debilitation down the road is a debate for another article. (****1/2)

Post-match: Jim Ross entered the ring to interview Edge or Hardy, but C.M. Punk's music suddenly hit. Well, well, well. Punk came down to the ring and cashed in the MITB briefcase. Hardy was stumbling around and not in position to wrestle. Ref told him to give up the title belt. Bell sounded.

9 -- World Hvt. champion JEFF HARDY vs. C.M. PUNK -- World Title match

Is this match official without it being contested without a gimmick? Bell sounded and Punk nailed the G2S, but Hardy kicked out. Oh snap. Punk was shocked. Hardy then tried to pin Punk with an inside cradle, but Punk kicked out. Punk then kicked Hardy in the head and went for the G2S once again. Punk made the cover and scored a pin for the win. Punk is World champion once again. He flashed a "two" to the hard camera and celebrated with the title. Crowd booed this title change a little. Ross said Hardy's body will never be the same again on the same night he became World champion. Hardy, who was WrestleMania Nine'ed by Punk playing Hogan, was out cold as they replayed the finish. Really pushing it close to the full three-hour mark. Final shot of Punk celebrating with the title belt to conclude a chaotic main event situation. Punk danced around the ring with the title belt to close the PPV four minutes before the top of the hour.

WINNER: Punk at 1:00 to capture the World Hvt. Title. Well, that sure shakes things up on the Smackdown brand. Chaotic, furious finish to the PPV. Who does Punk feud with now? Do Jericho and Edge get title re-matches? Perhaps a three-way at The Bash. (n/a)

Arcademan:
WWE RAW Results: 6-8-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

Legacy beat crap out of Batista and 'break his arm' (which explains his real-life injury)

1 -- U.S. champion KOFI KINGSTON vs. WILLIAM REGAL -- non-title match

Regal quickly on the offensive and he called out to the crowd that Kofi's pathetic just like the audience. Lawler sold concern over Batista, saying he couldn't get over it right now. He then said some of the folks in the locker room think Kofi had a fluke win over MVP last week. Kofi blasted Regal with a leaping kick to the head, then he hit the Boom-Boom leg drop for a one count. Regal then tried to come back with the exposed knee smash, but Kofi moved. He wanted the Buzzsaw kick, but Regal moved. Kofi then came right back with a second attempt and he connected. Kofi with the pin for the win. Cole called him the future of Raw.

WINNER: Kofi at 2:05. Predictably (and unfortunately) short TV match. Really doesn't help establish any sense of significance to the Inter...er...United States Title if it's given very light TV time in what's presented as a filler second quarter-hour segment. (3/4*)

2 -- Divas champion MARYSE vs. KELLY KELLY -- Divas Title match

Basic set-up with Maryse in control early, then Kelly made a comeback including a close nearfall following a sunset flip. Kelly went high-risk, but Maryse blocked and nailed her hair-flippin' DDT for the pin and the win. After Maryse won, Mickie stood up from the announce table and stared down Maryse, who tried to slap around Kelly after winning. Mickie made the save, then Maryse blew Mickie some faux kisses to re-continue their storyline leading to a potential title match down the road again.

WINNER: Maryse at 3:05. About what you would expect for this three-minute title match. (1/2*)

3 -- GOLDUST & FESTUS & SANTINO MARELLA (w/Hornswoggle) vs. JAMIE NOBLE & BRIAN KENDRICK & CHAVO GUERRERO

Kendrick was the poor victim in the ring when Festus snapped on him when the bell rang. The six-feet-and-under basketball team took a beating from Festus, but they got hold of Goldust and isolated him. Santino then made a tag and discovered his super powers to wrestle. Santino talked trash to Noble, who took an STO before the heel shorties broke up the pin. Festus gave chase on the floor and blasted Chavo. Kendrick then rolled Hornswoggle into the ring as the whole thing fell apart. Horny then backed up into Noble, who threatened him only to have Horny step on his feet. In the chaos, Santino rolled up Noble from behind for the pin and the win.

WINNERS: Oddities at 3:50. Didn't do anything for the heels presented on an equal level as the midget and freaks. Just a match to continue building up the Oddities v.2. This is the annual post-Draft time period when WWE forgets about building up credible mid-card heels and just throws them out on TV to where they're glad just to have work. (*)

4 -- MVP vs. MATT HARDY

Lawler said Matt told him that he re-injured his hand at the PPV. Cole apparently shot him a look that Lawler's too gullible. Match started with Hardy in control after he yanked MVP off the middle rope to the mat. Hardy then landed a running splash to the back as MVP was draped over the middle rope. MVP fought back and landed a jawbreaker across his knee. He followed with the Ballin' elbow drop for a two count. MVP missed with a Chono boot in the corner, then Matt mounted him for ten cast punches. MVP blocked, though, and went to work on the injured right hand. MVP followed with the Playmaker for the pin and the win.

WINNER: MVP at 3:51. Crowd quiet for this one, but don't blame the wrestlers. Blame WWE for zero pre-match hype, giving the live audience an unspoken cue to take a breather and just watch the match without reacting or emotionally investing. As a result, match didn't hold much importance on the show, which is unfortunate. (*)

Next week: 3 hours, 3 brands, 3 championship matches, 3 hours. 3-For-All. Cole and Lawler said the WWE Title match will be defended next week, but they don't know who will be champion. Announcers recapped the Extreme Rules PPV last night, focusing on the Edge vs. Hardy ladder match. Showed Hardy holding up the World Title belt, but then there was C.M. Punk cashing in his MITB case. Still photo showed a menacing, heel look on Punk's face as he nailed the G2S on Hardy.

5 -- Unified tag team champions PRIMO & CARLITO COLON vs. TED DIBIASE, JR. & CODY RHODES -- non-title match

Match was joined in progress with Cody working on Primo. Primo then made a tag to Carlito, who came off the top rope with a springboard fist smash on Cody. Carlito hit a kneelift into a clothesline, then missed with a moonsault, but hit a standing dropkick for a two count. Action broke down a bit, then Cody nailed Carlito with a right hand smash for a two count. Legacy isolated Carlito as the crowd came to life rallying behind Carlito. Didn't help, as Legacy went back to work on Carlito. Primo finally took a hot tag at 6:30 and worked over DiBiase. Primo with a big flurry of offense before nailing a cross-body block on DiBiase for a two count. Action broke down, then Cody yanked Primo across the top rope behind the ref's back. DiBiase then hit Dream Street on Primo for the pin and the win. They'll get a future tag title shot.

WINNERS: DiBiase & Rhodes at 7:25. Okay tag match. Again, no live pre-hype meant the crowd wasn't going to buy into the action because it wasn't presented as an important match-up. Primo added a nice dose of athleticism, but match wasn't memorable. (*1/2)

6 -- WWE champion BATISTA vs. RANDY ORTON (w/Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase) -- WWE Title match

Ref started his ten count, but they cut to a shot of the ambulance returning to the building. Ref waved off his count, wanting to see if Batista had returned. Apparently match was over. Kinda. Who knows. WINNER: No Announcement at 0:20 milked seconds. (n/a)

End of show: Triple H pops out of ambulance, runs to ring and beats crap out of Orton, more or less...

Arcademan:
ECW on SciFi Results: 6-9-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results.

1 -- EVAN BOURNE vs. TONY ATLAS (w/Mark Henry)

Bourne was distracted by Henry's presence ringside early on, allowing Atlas to take control. Bourne then came back with a dropkick and a standing moonsault for a two count. Henry was just pacing around ringside not too impressed with his teacher/nutrition specialist. Bourne hit a running single arm DDT, then he went to the corner. Bourne up top to nail the Shooting Star Press for the pin and the win. Henry remained unimpressed, but he did something about it by clobbering Bourne from behind. Henry then nailed the World's Strongest Slam and started laughing at Bourne's plight. Bourne then pulled himself up selling internal injuries.

WINNER: Bourne in 4:00. This program is not helping or enhancing Bourne's character one bit. Abandon program. Abandon program. (1/2*)

2 -- VLADIMIR KOZLOV vs. LUKE HAWX & CHRIS LEWIE

Kozlov beat the crap out of the red-trunks dude, then gave yellow trunks a front-slam, the Iron Curtain, for the pin and the win. Kozlov then smiled to no one in particular and celebrated in two out of four corners. What...the...heck?

WINNER: Kozlov in 2:00. Why is Kozlov smiling? Did he finally get the best of the punching bag from his training videos? (Send your best serious, inane, not-serious, or ludicrous answers to the question, "Why is Kozlov smiling?" to pwtorch@gmail.com)

3 -- JACK SWAGGER & CHRISTIAN vs. HART DYNASTY (DAVID HART SMITH & TYSON KIDD w/Natalya)

Swagger told Christian he was going to start things off, then Christian entered the ring and worked on Kidd. Swagger then blind-tagged himself into the match to ground Kidd. Christian wanted a tag, so Swagger slapped him off the ring apron. Ref called it an official tag. Christian said, "fine," and landed a dropkick on Kidd. Swagger then pushed Christian across the ring and Christian fell into a kick from Kidd. Dynasty began working over Christian as Swagger sarcastically pointed to Christian as if to tell the audience he isn't all that great right now. Great heel move after Swagger put Christian in a position to fail.

Back from break, Smith put Christian in the classic British Bulldog delayed vertical suplex to get the blood rushing to the head before delivering the move for a two count. Kidd then tagged in and set-up a moonsault that woke up the crowd, but Christian moved and Kidd ate mat. Swagger extended his hand for a tag, then Christian pulled his hand away and slapped Swagger across the face. Christian fired up on Smith and delivered a forearm smash before going into a rolling pin exchange. Christian then hit the pendulum kick out of the corner before nailing a Tornado DDT for a two count.

Christian went up top, took a look at Swagger, then missed with a top rope diving headbutt. Kidd tagged back in and missed with a double foot stomp before Christian grappled him. Kidd blocked the Killswitch, but Christian followed with a sunset flip for a two count. Natalya tried to get involved, which caused chaos. Swagger then smashed Christian throat-first across the top rope allowing Smith and Kidd to hit the Hart Attack combo on Christian for the pin and the win.

WINNERS: Hart Dynasty in 12:00. Okay tag match before a great exchange between Christian and Kidd at the end. Swagger was great doing just about nothing, but carrying himself as the star of the match. We don't know anything about Smith, so he comes across like just another big guy who does big-man moves. They really need to give him a chance to let the personality shine. Kidd was fine, but it's as if Smith's non-descript character zaps the personality out of him as well. (**)

Post-match: Swagger stomped on Christian, then Smith and Kidd stomped Christian. Suddenly, Tommy Dreamer stormed the ring with a Kendo Stick in hand to clear the ring of Swagger and HD. Christian was alone in the ring as the announcers speculated why Dreamer would help Christian. Dreamer pointed his "stick" towards Christian, then stood his ground in the ring. With the heels out of the picture, Dreamer stared down Christian, who recovered in the corner. Dreamer vs. Christian this Monday on Raw. I can't recall another time on WWE's version of ECW where Dreamer has come across more like a star than right now. Good build-up of Dreamer's character continues.

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