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Arcademan:
ECW on SciFi Results: 3-17-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- U.S. champion SHELTON BENJAMIN & MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas) vs. MVP & CHRISTIAN

Shelton vs. MVP for the U.S. Title is scheduled for this Friday on Smackdown. Big 500 episode celebration. Random commercial break after a nearfall. Well, just seemed so random because we're used to the babyface knocking the heel to the floor and hitting a spot, then being in control to set up the heel in control out of the break.

They returned with Shelton and Henry working over Mr. Moveset MVP. Matt Striker earned his paycheck talking about all four men scouting each other in preparation for the Money in the Bank match. Christian finally entered the match after MVP fought off Shelton and made the hot tag. Shelton and Christian battled, Striker dropped a Johnny Cash reference, the action broke down, then Henry and MVP battled on the floor. In the confusion, Shelton nailed Christian with paydirt for the pin and the win.

WINNERS: Shelton & Henry in 8:00. Christian loses yet another match on ECW. Good set-up for MITB and Shelton vs. MVP on Smackdown this Friday, though. (*1/4)

2 -- EVAN BOURNE vs. JAMIE NOBLE

"Top Gun" references galore before the opening bell. Bourne started off on the offensive as Striker described the gruesome injury Bourne suffered with a near-snapping of his ankle five months ago. Cut to a backstage shot of Tyson Kidd and Natalya watching Bourne's return on a backstage monitor. There's your future star feud. Striker said Bourne is planning on busting out some new moves that he developed while injured. Grisham said he talked to Noble before the match and Noble isn't concerned about losing to Bourne in his return. Bourne busted out traditional aerial offense, then set up Noble for the Shooting Star Press. He connected square and made the cover for the win. Afterward, they replayed the move several times with slow-mo replays and let Bourne get his shine in his return.

WINNER: Bourne in 3:00. Very nice return for Bourne. As I expected a few weeks ago when Kidd debuted, they're setting up Bourne vs. Kidd in what should be an excellent feud. (*)

3 -- FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. PAUL BURCHILL (w/Katie Lea Burchill)

Hornswoggle jumped on the ECW broadcast table and demanded headsets to call the action in the ring. Finlay tried to restore order after dumping Burchill to the floor, but Burchill used the distraction to ram Finlay into the ring apron. Grisham suggested that Hornswoggle is more of a detriment than a help for pops. Grisham with a Tom & Jerry reference, which popped Tommy Dreamer's name into my head. Where is Tommy and his Quest? Burchill had his hair pulled back like a Sumo wrestler. Apparently this was his solution to stand out as not a generic mid-card heel. Finlay took Burchill's offense, then he finished off the Englishman with the Celtic Cross on St. Patrick's Day for the pin and the win. Finlay and Hornswoggle then celebrated.

WINNER: Finlay in 3:00. Standard match kept short to avoid long stretches of Burchill on the offensive since WWE doesn't put much stock in his character right now. Just a fun match for the kids on St. Patrick's Day. There's the ECW brand - home of The Zombie - in a sentence. (*)

Arcademan:
TNA Impact! Results: 3-19-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Keller's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNNS (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) vs. NO LIMIT (Yujiro & Nito)

The Gunns beat Nito to win the light-weight version of the IWGP Tag Team Titles, and this is a non-title rematch. Tenay said the main event tag match later is like an all-star game. Tenay hyped that Foley has never wrestled on Impact and it'll be Jarrett's first match on Impact in over two years. I rest my case.

WINNERS: No Limit in 4:00.

STAR RATING: * -- A bunch of cool spots and high-paced action. It's one of those matches where four wrestlers are told specifically to go out there and burn the house down in four minutes and they do as they're told, then they're criticized in the aggregate for being all about highspots and not telling a proper story in the ring.

2 -- AWESOME KONG & RAISHA SAEED vs. ODB & TAYLOR WILDE

Tenay said he can't get his mind off of the Impact main event tag match. He asked West if it seemed to him that Sting was being a spokesperson for Foley. West said Sting is going to have to put up or shut up tonight. No signs of tension between Tenay and West this week. I'm not usually in favor of abandoning a storyline mid-stream, but if they pretend that tension never occurred, I'm fine with it. Just pretend they talked it out behind the scenes. Taylor hot-tagged in at 2:00 against Kong and hit two dropkicks. Kong didn't go down. Kong did go down after a top rope dropkick. Saeed interfered with the save, but Taylor went after her. They fought at ringside. Kong pressed Taylor, but Taylor slipped out and cradled Kong for the win.

WINNERS: Wilde & ODB in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

-Afterward, Kong attacked Taylor, then gave ODB an Implant Buster. ODB's date, Cody Deiter, jumped into the ring and put up his dukes. Kong backed out of the ring. West said Kong was smart to walk away because if she didn't, there could be legal issues.

3 -- SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. SAMOA JOE

Joe went after Bashir immediately and aggressively. The ref scolded Joe. Joe punched the ref and then threw Bashir into the announce table. He then put him in a cobra clutch and dragged him to the back.

WINNER: No contest.

4 -- MADISON RAYNE vs. THE GOVERNOR

West and Tenay began arguing. Shoot. Sky interfered to help give Rayne the advantage early. A minute later The Gov surprised Rayne with a leverage pin. West accused the ref of a fast count. Tenay said, "Aw, come on!"

WINNER: The Governor in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

-Afterward, Sky and Love attacked The Gov. They pulled out a pair of scissors and handed them to Rayne. She had to cut her hair. She began snipping away.

5 -- KURT ANGLE & STING vs. MICK FOLEY & JEFF JARRETT

Angle and Jarrett began the match. West said he can't believe this match is airing for free. Tenay said during the break Cornette informed him that next week on Impact there will be a 20 man six-sides-of-steel gauntlet to determine the two captains for Lethal Lockdown on Apr. 19 on PPV. Jarrett ducked an Angle clothesline and threw a dropkick. Jarrett twisted Angle's arm and played to the crowd. The crowd chanted for Foley and Jarrett tagged in Foley at 2:00. Foley moved in toward Angle, grabbed him, and outwrestled him to the mat. Angle crawled to the bottom rope. Foley yelled "Bang! Bang!" Tenay asked if anyone ever thought they'd see Foley out mat-wrestle Angle. Foley clotheslined Angle over the top rope to the floor. When he went after Angle on the floor, Angle's security members, Sal and Rocco, went after Foley. Foley banged their heads together. Angle hit Foley from behind with a chair, then Angle back suplex Foley onto the mats at ringside. Team 3D came out and beat up Sal and Rocco. West said Foley was out. Jarrett called for help.

Angle beat on Foley in the ring, kicking at his leg. He whipped him toward the ropes, but Foley just collapsed. Sting asked for a tag. Angle teased it, but then pulled his hand away. Angle took Foley down with a hard clothesline. Sting told Angle to get the pin if he could and leave it there. Angle stomped Foley between his legs. Sting walked into the ring and got in Angle's face. "That's enough, Kurt," he said. West said there's no chance of them getting onto the same page. Angle knocked Sting off the ring apron. Jarrett got into the ring and gave Angle a Pedigree and enzuigiri. Tenay noted that Jarrett's not legal. Jarrett went for The Stroke, but Angle blocked it and went for an ankelock. Jarrett powered out and lunged at Angle, but Angle moved and Jarrett took down the ref. Angle ran to ringside and grabbed a chair. Jarrett kicked Angle in the gut to block the chairshot, then brought his guitar into the ring. Jarrett reared back, but Sting yanked it away. Foley stood up with a chair in hand. Angle bailed out of the ring. Foey then bashed Sting with the chair and made the cover. A second ref came out and counted the pin. West said that was no accident when Foley swung the chair and hit Sting. Tenay asked, "What have we just seen here?"

WINNERS: Foley & Jarrett in 11:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Foley's still really crippled looking at he moves around the ring. Sting didn't tag in. So it was mostly Angle with rudimentary solid early work against Jarrett and then beating down Foley before the chaos broke out.

Arcademan:
WWE Smackdown Results: 3-20-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Keller's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- TRIPLE H vs. VLADIMIR KOZLOV

Triple H ducked a charging Kozlov, who flew over the top rope to the floor. Kozlov re-entered the ring and charged again with a clothesline attempt. Triple H ducked and then knocked Kozlov to the floor. They cut to a break a 1:00.

Triple H had Kozlov in a figure-four as they returned to the break. Kozlov reached the bottom rope to force a break at 4:00. Kozlov gave Triple H a battering ram and a belly-to-belly suplex while working off a limp from the figure-four. He battered Triple H in the corner. Triple H quickly powered out of a bearhug and gave hi a face buster and two clotheslines in the corner. He then scored a two count after a neckbreaker. He followed with a spinebuster after a brief attempt at a comeback by Kozlov. He followed with a Pedigree for the win.

WINNER: Triple H in 7:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Fine for what it was, but Kozlov is pretty much done as a potential top heel since this win wasn't treated as a particularly big deal and it came relatively easily.

2 -- SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. MVP -- U.S. Title match

This title gets defined down as virtually meaningless when there's a title match that appears - poof! - out of nowhere like this. If it's not worthy hyping at least 15 minutes head of time, much less a week or two ahead of time, the average viewer is going to think it's no big deal no matter how much the announcers hard-sell it once it starts. Pro wrestling bookers have lost their way more than ever regarding the art of building anticipation and milking it. They do it for PPVs, but when the same thing being offered on PPV is being given away with no hype on TV, in a generic sense the idea of a main eventer vs. main eventer match is watered down and diminished so that selling a PPV becomes an unnecessary steep uphill battle. Shelton took control early and settled into an abdominal stretch at 1:00.

MVP made a comeback and hit a powerslam. He scored a near fall after a boot to the face. The crowd chanted "MVP, MVP." Shelton countered a suplex with a neckbreaker in a smooth move leading to a two count at 4:00. Tazz put over Shelton as a "quintessential blue chip athlete." MVP scored a near fall with a backslide and then another near fall with a bridge. Shelton came back with a sudden poweslam for a near fall. MVP then hit his finisher for the win.

WINNER: MVP in 5:00 to win the U.S. Title.

STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Good action, but really short for a U.S. Title match. Again, this would have meant so much more with a little hype last week and some promos to set it up. It's just disheartening to see how short-term planning and an over-reliance on just tossing pushed wrestlers against one another indiscriminately has become a substitute for sound booking.

3 -- SHAWN MICHAELS vs. KANE

Kane overpowered Michaels early. Tazz said it appeared they might have to stop the match after a Kane punch may have "busted Shawn's jaw." Kane overpowered Michaels for the opening minutes. Michaels did the flip bump into the corner on a whip and then tumbled to the floor at 2:00. They cut to another break.

Kane remained in control after the break. This is one of those matches where two big names are matched up, and the one doing the job gets the benefit of 90 percent of the offense to "make up for having to do the job." Vince McMahon hates pronouns, and Ross took it to an extreme by saying Michaels was trying to "get Kane off of Kane's feet." Michaels kicked out of a near fall after a basement dropkick by Kane at 7:00. Michaels made a comeback at 9:00 with some punches and a neckbreaker. After a collision, Michaels leaped up and gave Kane an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline. When he went for a top rope elbow, Kane turned sideways and Michaels landed on his knee. Kane climbed to the top rope and leaped off with a clothesline. Kane waited for Michaels to get up and moved in for a chokeslam, but Michaels surprised him with a superkick for the win. Ross sold the Michaels win as an indication that Undertaker's streak "is dog-gone sure in jeopardy."

WINNER: Michaels in 11:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Pretty one-sided most of the way and Kane is always a bit lumbering, but a solid match with a well executed transition into Michaels's comeback and victory.

4 -- JEFF HARDY vs. BRIAN KENDRICK (w/Ezekiel Jackson)

Hardy knocked Jackson out of the ring at the start of the match and then dove over the top rope onto Kendrick a ringside in the opening minute. Jackson grabbed Hardy from behind and threw him into the security wall. When Jackson checked on Kendrick, Hardy bashed him from behind with a chair repeatedly. He chased Kendrick into the ring with a chair, but Kendrick kicked the chair out of his hands and knocked him to the mat. He mounted him and punched away at his head. Hardy came back and aggressively rammed Kendrick's head into a standing chair several times at 2:00. He DDT'd Kendrick on a chair and finished him with a Swanton Bomb.

WINNER: Hardy in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- The goal was to get across the excitement and energy and high-impact nature of an extreme rules match. So in that respect it worked. It was pretty much a squash of Kendrick and had too many chairshots as six to the back of Jackson was excessive and diminished the perceived impact of one.

5 -- THE UNDERTAKER vs. JBL

Ross said that Monday on Raw, Rey Mysterio challenged JBL for the IC Title at WrestleMania, and JBL has accepted the challenge. Taker jump-started the match with an early flurry of offense. Ross said Taker's streak is like winning 16 Super Bowls in a row, a feat that he says will never be repeated. At 2:00 they cut to a break.

Taker missed a kick at ringside and JBL took over. JBL worked over Taker's leg in the ring. Taker powered out of a figure-four leglock, but JBL managed to retain control of the match at 10:00. At 11:00 Taker made a comeback with snake eyes, a big boot, and a legdrop for a near fall. JBL came back seconds later with a Clothesline from Hell out of nowhere for a near fall. Tazz said it's rare anyone kicks out of that move. Taker then surprised JBL with his Devil's Gate submission. After about 10-15 seconds, JBL tapped out.

WINNER: Undertaker in 12:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good match. Best of the show so far.

Arcademan:
Ring of Honor TV Results: 3-21-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed to in-ring results only.

1 -- JERRY LYNN vs. DELIRIOUS

The opening camera shot made the ring look very small and had too much of a "WSX new-school feel" that made this seem like bit wrestling entertainment rather than a serious product. The ROH wrestling product sold itself and now ROH seems to be trying to sell itself with fancy camera shots and a generic sports announcer rather than the in-ring product. Granted, ROH's production value was terrible two years ago, but this feels a bit over-compensating. Mike was way over-the-top on a false finish, making Michael Cole sound like Jim Ross. Mike with some random interjections like in a video game. At least he didn't bust out "vintage Jerry Lynn." Lynn finished off Delirious with the Cradle Piledriver for the win.

WINNER: Lynn in 6:00. Hard to focus on the match trying to soak in the production value, adjust to the moving camerashots, and not being distracted by Hogewood. Here's the deal with Mike Hogewood: he's like a national TV broadcaster calling a baseball game on FOX with very little knowledge of the intricate details of the team he's calling. Or, in the case of FOX Sports calling college football's BCS games, they have knowledge of one or two main elements, but couldn't list the starting line-up of each team. His role is simply to lend a "professional voice" to ROH and let Prazak fill in the details. ROH has to walk a fine line between increased production value, but not over-compensating to take away from the wrestling product. (*1/4)

2 -- KENNY KING vs. SAMI CALLIHAN

Mike said King is cocky and Sami is intense. It's like he's reading a generic horoscope that could apply to anyone. King looks legit in the ring, but Callihan looks like a generic independent wrestler who grew some sideburns and hair, slapped on a singlet, and decided he would stand out. Sami was babyface (I think?), but vocal portion of the crowd was in King's favor. Hogewood wouldn't let go of King's smile. Everything revolved around that smile. King avoided a corner splash and nailed the Coronation in center ring for the win. He's cocky, arrogant, and a winner, Hogewood let us know. How about that smile? Hogewood has us covered post-match.

WINNER: King in 6:00. Fine match. King stood out while Sami won't be remembered, unfortunately. Hogewood, oh Hogewood. (*1/2)

3 -- BRENT ALBRIGHT vs. RHETT TITUS

Match commentary pattern is developing where Prazak will give the name of a move, then Hogewood will repeat the name of the move in a re-structured sentence. Albright knocked Titus to the floor at 3:00, then Albright landed a plancha.Titus took control by smacking Albright on the ring apron, then Hogewood became very indignant at Titus's strutting. Albright made a comeback at 6:00 with an exploder suplex, but Titus nailed an elevated dropkick for a nearfall. Albright came back with a German suplex, then he slapped on the crowbar submission for the victory.

WINNER: Albright in 7:00. Good showcase match of some athleticism from Titus and solid mat work from Albright. Good step-up from the opening matches. (**1/4)

4 -- TYLER BLACK vs. JIMMY JACOBS

Black and Jacobs had a shoving match to start the match with the crowd firmly behind Black, who knocked Jacobs to the floor. Jacobs then retrieved two chairs and chucked them into the ring. Black turned around to move them out of the ring, allowing Jacobs to sneak up behind Black and gain the advantage. Two things I've noticed about the sound: they moved beyond the "random fan conservations near a house mic" that are utterly annoying on DVD releases, but the overall crowd isn't mic'ed as well. The audience seems like they're distant from the action rather than really into the matches.

At 10:00, Black made a comeback and hip-tossed Jacobs across the ring. Black then came off the top rope with a springboard lariat for a two count. He followed with a running shooting star press for a two count as Jacobs clutched his arm in pain. Not much chemistry between Hogewood and Prazak. Sounds like Prazak is trying to adjust to not calling with Lenny Leonard, unsure how to play off Hog. Black went for his finisher, but Jacobs countered into the End Times submission. Black nearly faded out, but he surprised Jacobs with a bridge pin in center ring for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Black in 14:00. Good match. Didn't seem like an "epic first-ever main event on national TV," though. Part of it was the lack of focus on crowd reactions and the poor mic'ing of the audience that is vital to the success of TV wrestling. Hogewood seemed to improve from the opening match to the main event, but that's not saying a lot. The chemistry is forced between the announcers, but hopefully that will develop with time. (**1/2)

Arcademan:
WWE RAW Results: 3-23-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report).

1 -- JEFF HARDY vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER -- Extreme Rules match
WINNER: Jeff Hardy at 3:02. Pick up the Smackdown build-up with Jeff snapping into Extreme Rules mode in anticipation of facing Matt at WrestleMania. Effective. (*)

2 -- U.S. champion MVP & C.M. PUNK & CHRISTIAN & KOFI KINGSTON vs. KANE & SHELTON BENJAMIN & MARK HENRY & FINLAY
WINNER: Team Christian at 7:11. Strong finish. Exciting action to give a taste of the Money in the Bank match. WWE is turning on the jets tonight to sell WrestleMania. There's definitely a sense of urgency to the show tonight. (*1/2)

3 -- World Hvt. champion EDGE vs. BIG SHOW -- non-title match
WINNER: No Contest at 3:40. More drama between the lover and husband. At least the issue is clear after being a complete mess two weeks ago, but it's still so silly. John Cena's role in this has been the jerk babyface, which isn't exactly an honorable position if he's supposed to be a role model for the kids. Babyfaces defend women, not verbally attack, belittle, and humiliate them. But, apparently in 2009 where morals and ethics are constantly being re-written to the detriment of society, this is what we end up with: Cena tormenting women, Samoa Joe threatening to kill another man, Triple H breaking & entering and getting away with it, and A.J. Styles a thief and robber. Thanks, pro wrestling. (*1/4)

4 -- REY MYSTERIO vs. WILLIAM REGAL (w/Layla and IC champion JBL)
WINNER: Rey Mysterio at 2:57. Nice change-of-pace finish of Rey out-smarting Regal to secure victory and show he can hang with a tough wrestler to show he can hang with JBL at WrestleMania. (*)

5 -- SANTINO MARELLA (w/Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mends) vs. MICKIE JAMES
WINNER: Mickie James at 2:20. Dang, that would have been fun with Santino in the divas battle royale. Oh well. Just a typical make-Santino-the-fool match. (n/a)

6 -- WWE champion TRIPLE H vs. RANDY ORTON & TED DIBIASE, JR. -- handicap match
WINNER: No Match. Very intense angle and exactly what WWE needed to get heat back on Randy Orton as a vicious, unethical heel. Violence against women isn't acceptable, but it's typical McMahon fare of proving they will do anything for the business. Orton's stalking became very graphic to the point where it looked like he was going to do unmentionable and unairable things to Stephanie. Perhaps WWE's idea of PG TV is different than mine, but that pushed the limits of decent TV to go-away TV despite bringing Orton back to a very vicious heel level.

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