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Arcademan:
TNA Impact! Results: 12-25-08

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- CHRIS SABIN (w/Alex Shelley) vs. KIYOSHI -- X Division Title semi-final tournament match

West was solid in the pre-match reminding the viewer of Consequences Creed having trouble with Kiyoshi in the first round because he didn't have a scouting report on Kiyoshi. Will Sabin learn from watching Kiyoshi in his first TNA match? Of note, ref Shane is back in the ring refereeing. Sheik Bashir walked out on stage with a towel wrapped around his head a minute into the action and sat down on a chair. Kiyoshi is pretty rough around the edges in his execution of moves, further underlying the point that he's a student of Great Muta. Kiyoshi missed with a top rope moonsault, then Sabin nailed the Cradle Shock for the pin and the win. Bashir had a non-reaction. Shelley celebrated with Sabin. He gets Shelley or Young in the finals.

WINNER: Sabin in 5:00. Match was irrelevant, which was unfortunate for Sabin, as the real X Division storyline of Bashir vs. Referee followed. (*)

2 -- SCOTT STEINER & BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. A.J. STYLES & BROTHER DEVON

This started as a closed-fist punch-out brawl between Booker and Devon, then Styles and Steiner battled. Devon then tagged in and shoved a boot into Steiner's throat. Styles back in at 3:00 to work on Steiner, but Steiner shoved Styles into the corner. Styles broke free and pushed Steiner to the floor, then nailed a baseball slide kick. Action broke down on the floor with the Frontline in control as they cut to break.

The action spilled to outside of the Impact Zone during the commercial break where Devon and Booker were brawling by a trailer. West reminded us it wasn't about a pin or getting a win. Is anything wrestling-related in TNA about actually winning a match? I don't even know why they have a ring. Styles and Steiner were brawling in the crowd with a split-screen of the action. Suddenly, the Mafia jumped Devon where Brother Ray was jumped two weeks ago. Nash and Angle pounded on Devon before hand-cuffing him to the wall. Booker followed with huge knee smashes.

Oh, we're back in the ring with Steiner working on Styles. After Styles re-gained control, Kurt Angle showed up in the ring. Styles fought him off, then knocked Nash off the ring apron. Angle was dumped to the floor. Booker then showed up and attempted an axe kick, but Styles hit the Pele kick. Mafia then jumped Styles after regrouping to beat down Styles. Steiner brought a chair into the ring. West was ridiculously over-the-top narrating this, then Frontline finally showed up to help prevent Styles taking the same fate as Joe last week. Mafia eventually beat down the weaker Frontline before Rhino stormed the ring to go after Angle. Rhino cleaned house, but Angle subdued him for Steiner to nail a series of chair shot blows to the back.

Mick Foley had enough and he stormed the ring to knock around the Mafia, who fed him for the big house-cleaning. Goodness, the washed-up executive shareholder > entire Frontline. That's going to help the younger stars in the credibility department. In any event, Foley cleared the entire Mafia with the help of Socko, then Angle talked trash from ringside. Foley wanted a mic. As if we haven't had enough talking on this show. We'll find out his thoughts after the break.

WINNERS: Who knows in who knows. Was there a match? What is a match? Is this a wrestling show? Foley being the one to clean the entire ring of the Mafia after everyone from the Frontline failed was just inexplicable booking. I know you have to hype Foley's return to the ring, but at the expense of the credibility of the entire Frontline roster after they failed to clean the ring just once in two months? Not worth it.

3 -- ODB & ROXXI & TAYLOR WILDE & CHRISTY HEMME vs. Knockouts champion AWESOME KONG & RAISHA SAEED & SOJOURNER BOLT & RHAKA KHAN -- Santa's Workshop Knockouts street fight

Some creative outfits you might see at a tacky Christmas party. Except for Bolt, who apparently missed the memo and sported a leopard-print outfit. Roxxi was an elf. Hemme was an aerobics instructor with candy-cane-striped socks. Kong entered the ring and over-powered Hemme, but Hemme hopped on her back and everything completely broke down. Ref Rudy Charles threw his hands in the air like he just don't care. Kong vs. Hemme is at the PPV in a lumberjill match, by the way. Taylor knocked Raisha off the apron into a mosh pit below on the floor that looked more like a corporate event where someone falls backwards to test the trust of his or her co-workers. Taylor then came off the top with a cross body block into the mosh pit. Back in the ring, Khan grappled Taylor and gave her a step-over kick before licking her hand. Taylor then rolled up Khan, who freaked out at the thought of being part of a wrestling move, and scored the pin for the win.

WINNERS: Team Taylor in 6:00. Just an excuse to get several Knockouts in the ring at the same time. Better-than-average build up for Hemme vs. Kong at the PPV. (*)

4 -- RHINO (w/Jeff Jarrett) vs. KURT ANGLE (w/TNA World Hvt. champion Sting)

Rhino had plenty of offense early on with Angle distracted by Jarrett ringside. Angle then came back at 2:00 with a smashing elbow smash. Angle then spit on Jarrett, who stormed into the ring. Refs were suddenly on the scene to hold back Jarrett, who we are reminded is talent and not office anymore. Let's let the cooler heads prevail during the break.

Rhino made a comeback from an Angle waistlock and landed multiple right hand blows before nailing a forearm to spring free. But, both men knocked each other down with a clothesline. Rhino then came up with a clothesline and a shoulder tackle in the corner before landing a suplex. Angle teased the Olympic Slam, but Rhino countered with a spinebuster. Angle then slapped on an Anklelock, but Rhino kicked him through the ropes to the floor. Jarrett talked trash, then Angle slapped him and side-stepped Jarrett, who crashed into the guardrail.

Back in the ring, Angle re-applied the anklelock, which has no credibility anymore because no one taps out to the move. Jarrett had enough and took off his shirt before storming the ring to attack Angle. Ref Hebner threw the match out. A brawl broke out until security intervened to set up a pull-apart brawl. Terry Taylor and B.G. James tried to enter the scene as Angle slowly reached out and grabbed Jarrett's golden locks. B.G. got the camera time to tell Angle to control himself. Angle then decked B.G., who was laid out to close the show with the focus on him.

WINNER: Angle via DQ in 10:00. Okay match, but just standard Impact TV fare with Rhino in there. He's a roleplayer who shouldn't be asked to carry a main event match, and he's fine when put into the roleplayer slot. Finish was inevitable. For starters, it's a TNA TV main event where a match can't just end. There must be a post-match to take precedence over the contemptuous in-ring action, and now the sympathetic figure is a TNA agent not booked for the PPV. Awesome. (*1/2)

Arcademan:
WWE Smackdown Results: 12-26-08

Results courtesy of ProWrestling.net (direct link to Hermanstyne's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1. Triple H defeated Chavo Guerrero in 2:08. The match began with Hunter getting very aggressive with Chavo. Chavo applied a baseball slide and a nice heel kick. Chavo tried to fool Hunter by throwing a chair and impersonate Eddie but Hunter didn't fall for it. Hunter spine busted and Pedigreed Chavo for the quick win. After the match, Hunter grabbed the sledgehammer and clobbered Chavo in the mid-section.

Mind of Marv: Decent segment. Triple H's charisma is what makes him entertaining. Chavo has turned into Gopher? Ooh, was that a shot at University of Minnesota? Just some friendly Illini humor, haha.

2. Shelton Benjamin defeated Hurricane Helms to retain United States Title in 11:02. The match began back and forth and Helms said what's up with that. Helms knocked out Shelton and applied a cross body to him outside the ring for three nearfalls. Shelton threw Helms into the ropes for a nearfall.

The match returned with Shelton dominating Helms by working on his neck. Shelton applied a neck breaker for a nearfall and he put Helms in a body scissors. Helms hit Shelton with a nice uppercut and clothesline. Helms attempted the Shining Wizard but Shelton countered. Helms gave Shelton the Shining Wizard but Shelton kicked out. Shelton gave Helms Paydirt to retain his belt.

Mind of Marv: This was a great TV match. Nice action throughout. Shelton did make Helms's finisher look weak by kicking out, but I'm glad they are moving Benjamin forward instead of burying him. I would like for them to have a U.S. Title tournament like they did with the IC title, it would be interesting because of all the mid-carders that can make the tournament fun.

3. Carlito defeated The Brian Kendrick in 2:17. The match was back and forth with a series of kicks and punches. Kendrick kicked Carlito off the top rope for a nearfall. Carlito gave Kendrick a high knee, clothesline and springboard. Zeke tried to get involved by pushing Primo. Kendrick kicked Carlito and missed The Kendrick which led to Carlito applying the Backstabber for the quick win.

Mind of Marv: Pretty quick match which builds up to the future title match between these teams. But come on...seriously the Bella Twins are OVERRATED. I'm just saying.

4. Maryse defeated Michelle McCool to become new Divas Champion with Maria as special guest referee in 4:35. McCool started the match with a lot of athleticism which was somewhat impressive (in my opinion). McCool hit Maryse with a nice dropkick for the nearfall. Maryse applied an inverted leg sweep to a cobra clutch which McCool countered with a nice kick. McCool applied a series of dropkicks and a spinning neck breaker. McCool got the hell kicked out of head by Maryse to win the title. She received a standing ovation from the crowd.

After the match McCool beat the hell out of Maria, which was lead to a ton of "You Suck" chants.

Mind of Marv: Maryse's Ooh Oui entrance music, sounds tight with the bass. But anyway, the heel turn is official of McCool and seeing Maria getting beaten was quite entertaining.

5. The Great Khali squashed MVP in 2:35. MVP rolled out of the ring and almost got counted out. MVP took some cheap shots at Khali but he was basically destroyed. MVP tried to get some offense and applied the Drive By Kick to Khali. Khali ended the misery with the Punjabi Plunge.

Mind of Marv: Watching MVP job every week is sad as hell.

6. Vladimir Kozlov squashed Jimmy Wang Yang in :57. Why bother wasting time? Battering Ram, choke slam, total squash.

Kozlov cut a promo saying everyone on each brand should look out because he will win the Royal Rumble and become champion.

Mind of Marv: Yawn. He's running out of people to squash.

7. WWE Champion Jeff Hardy defeated Big show in a non-title match by count out in 11:00. The match began with Show destroying Hardy with knife edge chops and punches. Hardy attempted a Twist of Fate on Show, but was countered by getting thrown out of the ring.

The show returned with Show still destroying Hardy. Show got some nearfalls with a hammerlock slam, and chops to the chest. Show missed an elbow, and Hardy got a couple of seconds of offense before Show applied a bear hug. Hardy gave Show two Whisper In The Winds and a Swanton Bomb for a nearfall. Show attempted a choke slam but was countered by Hardy for a DDT, a mule kick and a kick to the announce table.

Both entertainers were getting counted outside of the ring and Hardy got back in the ring to get the count out victory. Matt Hardy ran out and celebrated with Jeff.

Edge thought he got away with murder by not facing the Big Show next week but Vickie told Edge that The Hardys seem to be reunited and will face Edge and the Big Show in a tag match for next week.

Mind of Marv: This main event was boring as hell. The first eight minutes was basically a Big Show squash match. What a way to make your WWE champion look weak as hell. Then Show kicks out of two of Hardy's finishers? What's with the WWE make their wrestlers (I mean entertainers) finishers look useless? But overall, this was a wrestling heavy show that I appreciate, but it started to slump within the last 40 minutes which sucked.

Arcademan:
WWE RAW Results: 12-29-08

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). To view condensed  in-ring results only, go to Neo-Geo Forum: Official WWE Thread Post #8520.

1 -- CODY RHODES vs. C.M. PUNK

WINNER: Cody Rhodes in 4:00. That was pretty predictable, but the only "out" to keep Cody in the group and make sure Punk didn't have a clean loss prior to an IC Title match next week. (*)

2 -- DIVAS BATTLE ROYALE of KELLY KELLY vs. MELINA vs. MICKIE JAMES vs. JILLIAN HALL vs. CANDICE MICHELLE vs. KATIE LEA -- Winner faces Women's champion Beth Phoenix at the Royal Rumble

WINNER: Melina in 3:00. Terribly short battle royale. Candice must have upset someone, as she had no ring entrance on TV - her calling card - and about 20 seconds in the ring. Or it's part of a long-term storyline involving the women's division that will play out in epic fashion in a credible TV match. Okay, not happening. (1/2*)

3 -- SIM SNUKA vs. SUPER HAAS CHARLIE SNUKA

WINNER: Sim Snuka in 4:00. Nice effort from Sim, who continues to show more than when he was a Greaser. Haas had a pretty good impression of Superfly, but his gimmick isn't leading anywhere. Just a mere TV filler role, which will keep him on TV, and that's half the battle. (*)

4 -- World Hvt. champion JOHN CENA & REY MYSTERIO & KOFI KINGSTON & CRYME TYME (JTG & SHAD GASPAR) vs. KANE & MIKE KNOX & DOLPH ZIGGLER & World tag team champions THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON

WINNERS: Team Chain Gang in 12:00. Fun match with an exciting ending to send-'em-home-happy if the fans want to beat traffic out of the building. The heels didn't get too much time to work in offense, but Dolph continues to stand out a few matches into his WWE run. (**1/2)

5 -- ECW champion MATT HARDY vs. MANU -- non-title match

WINNER: Matt Hardy in 8:00. Slow, plodding match. Manu is better off in tag matches and short singles matches right now. The same Hardy story of the champ being on the defensive forever before hitting the Twist of Fate out of nowhere for the win. (*)

6 -- RANDY ORTON vs. JBL vs. SHAWN MICHAELS vs. CHRIS JERICHO -- #1 Contender match to the World Hvt. Title -- elimination match -- Winner gets Cena at the Royal Rumble

WINNER: JBL in 25:00 to become #1 contender to the World Title. Michaels managed to take a completely dead crowd and have them eating out of the palm of his hand milking five minutes worth of MVP-caliber wrestling storytelling. Match was slow prior to the finish, then Michaels really told a story leading to a stick-it-on-the-Rumble main event with Cena vs. JBL when the Rumble itself will sell the PPV. (***)

Arcademan:
ECW on Sci-Fi Results: 12-30-08

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (link to Park's complete report)

1- MARK HENRY vs. MATT HARDY

Henry overpowered Hardy in the opening minute. Hardy goaded Henry into a test of strength, only to get a kick to the gut to go on offense. Good thinking there. But Henry went back on offense soon after. The fans got behind Hardy as Henry's methodical offense started to wear down the ECW Champ. Tony Atlas caused a distraction as Hardy was about to get things going, which allowed Henry to splash him in the corner. Hardy barely got his foot on the rope on a pin attempt by Henry, and the show went to break with Matt in peril.

Henry continued his offensive onslaught, giving Matt some shots to the ribs then stepping on his throat. Matt got off the ropes as Mark was going to sit down on him as he had his throat across the ropes in a 619 position. Henry found away to choke Matt on the ropes anyway. Henry missed a sit-down splash and Hardy started his comeback. Side Effect for two from Matt. He knocked Atlas off the apron and Henry pushed Hardy off on a Twist of Fate attempt. But he pushed him right into Jack Swagger, who had come out and entered the ring. Swagger slammed him to the mat, drawing the DQ and the ire of Henry.

WINNER: Hardy, by DQ at 10:05. Well, they sure made Henry look good as he owned that match. I'm surprised they're not putting him on the back-burner with Swagger ready to take over as top heel challenger.

2- PAUL BURCHILL vs. DJ GABRIEL

Burchill was seconded by Katie Lea, and of course Alicia Fox was with Gabriel. I kinda thought Gabriel was a heel. Two Brits going at it here. Couple arm-drags by Gabriel, but Burchill got some shots in himself. Matt Striker gave full background on Burchill, who was making his first ECW appearance. A slight "DJ Gabriel" chant from the crowd. Burchill settled into a chin-lock. Gabriel got a couple elbows in to the chin of Burchill, but Paul came back with some knee drops. Striker even mentioned Burchill was a descendant of Blackbeard the Pirate. Another chin-lock from Paul. Gabriel fought back with a monkey flip but a clothesline to the back of the head by Burchill ended that sequence. Gabriel countered a powerslam with a gutbuster. Gabriel went to the second rope, presumably for his finisher, but Burchill pulled his foot off the rope. Gabriel got the win by rolling over on Burchill and hooking the legs behind him for the three.

WINNER: Gabriel, at 5:32. WWE has shown a penchant for starting someone new off against jobbers, then moving them on to lower card guys. Gabriel has passed the jobber test, so he got Burchill tonight. Still, Burchill got in more offense than I expected.

3- FINLAY & BOOGEYMAN vs. JOHN MORRISON & THE MIZ- NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH

Early on, Hornswoggle got down behind Miz and Finlay pushed Miz over the little guy. Morrison got involved and the two ended up getting clotheslined outside the ring by Boogeyman. Miz almost got pulled under the ring on the other side by Boogey, then Hornswoggle dove onto the duo. Morrison took out Finlay's leg on the apron and Miz kicked him to ringside. Miz applied a chin-lock to Finlay in the ring. Morrison tagged in and battled Finlay. Shouldn't this be a Tornado Tag match, since it's no-DQ? What's the point of waiting for a tag? Boogeyman was literally foaming at the mouth to get in the ring as Finlay continued to be beaten down. Boogey finally broke up a pin attempt by Morrison and nailed Miz to boot. That gave Finlay time to re-energize and clean house. As Finlay clothesline Miz over the top rope, the legal man Morrison rolled him up for the win.

WINNERS: Miz & Morrison, at 5:54. Finlay wisely did all the work for the faces.

After the match, Finlay did his finisher on Miz after Boogeyman attacked him. The heels made their way up the ramp as Finlay picked some kids from ringside to dance and run around the ring with Hornswoggle. A feel-good way for WWE to end 2008.

Arcademan:
WWE Smackdown Results: 1-2-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Park's complete results)

1- CURT HAWKINS & ZACK RYDER vs. FINLAY & THE GREAT KHALI

Khali immediately took out both men and did the double noggin-knocker. With the ref distracted, Hornswoggle got involved too. Finlay tagged in and dished out some punishment to Hawkins. He then clotheslined Ryder on the outside. That distraction led to some yelling from Hawkins and he took over on offense as well. It's hard to believe how far these two have fallen in the last year; I thought for sure they were destined to be something worth investing in as the EdgeHeads. They're in desperate need of some character advancement though. Finlay came back to make a tag and Khali did some more attacking of both. Punjabi Plunge on Ryder for three.

WINNER: Finlay & Khali, at 4:06. I could see Finlay & Khali becoming a semi-permanent "odd couple" face team.

2- JESSE & FESTUS vs. EZEKIEL JACKSON & THE BRIAN KENDRICK

Oh c'mon, now Ezekiel has the red tights; now he's inviting MORE comparisons to Ahmed Johnson. Some teamwork by the faces cleaned house on the heels. Jesse worked over Kendrick and tagged in Festus. Festus missed a charge but caught Kendrick on a cross-body attempt. But Festus tweaked his knee and Kendrick, then Ezekiel after a tag, honed in on that body part. Festus recovered enough to tag Jesse, who was all over Kendrick. Not much crowd heat for the faces. Eventually, Festus and Zeke got involved. Zeke made a blind tag when Jesse was on offense and surprised the country boy with a uranage to finish them off.

WINNERS: Jackson & Kendrick, at 4:42. And the heels are back on track. This was a bit more energetic than I expected.

3- VLADIMIR KOZLOV vs. HURRICANE HELMS

Kozlov dodged a few Hurri-kicks and went to work on Helms' left arm. Jeez, right off the bat he went for a mat-hold. Helms tried to fight out and came back until Kozlov locked his arms and gave some headbutts to the chest of Helms. Kozlov took Helms down again with the arm. Helms slammed Helms across the top rope, then hit the fallaway slam. Helms got Kozlov down to one knee and attempted the Shining Wizard, but Vlad met him with a headbutt, then his finisher for the win.

WINNER: Kozlov, at 4:18. Got Kozlov more over as a machine, but it wasn't particularly entertaining.

-Coming up next, the Royal Rumble entrants from Smackdown will be announced. I wonder why they decided to forego qualifying matches this year?

-Jim Ross was in the ring to present the Smackdown Royal Rumble participants. Oh, it's only "some" of them. First is Triple H. The Big Show, Vladimir Kozlov and Shelton Benjamin. As JR was going to announce something (or someone) else, Shelton and his music interrupted. He took umbrage with JR simply introducing him as a "participant," rather than the odds-on-favorite he should've been announced as. He told JR to get out of the ring then showed off his US Title and bragged about his title reign thus far. He said no one in the Rumble match can compare with his talents. The Undertaker's voice came over the PA system, the lights went out, and when they came on, he was in the ring. He then chokeslammed Shelton. He was the other participant JR was about to mention.

4- MVP vs. KIZARNY

Before the match, MVP was so down-trodden he just wanted them to bring out whoever his opponent is and to get it over with. No bragging, no nothing. Crowd was chanting for "MVP" at the start, but Kizarny did get a decent pop coming out. Kizarny got some offense then baseball slid MVP to the outside. He dove through the ropes and onto MVP. Cross-body from the second rope got one. MVP headbutted Kizarny in the gut and threw Kizarny to the outside. He hung Kizarny out to dry on the barricade. In the ring, he got a two-count. Waist-lock applied by MVP. MVP stayed on the offense and face-planted him into the mat. Back to the waist-lock. Belly-to-belly throw by MVP, but Kizarny came back with a jaw-breaker. Dropkick to MVP's leg, then a running seated dropkick. Kizarny bounced MVP's head off the three turnbuckles in the corner then made a unique cover on MVP. It only got two. Playmaker was countered with a double-arm roll-up for the pin.

WINNER: Kizarny, at 6:29. I don't know if the finisher was botched or what, but it looked weak. Didn't seem to me to be an impressive debut from the carny.

5- EDGE & BIG SHOW vs. MATT & JEFF HARDY

Edge and Matt Hardy started the match off and then Jeff tagged in and the brothers took out Edge and Show. They tried to throw Edge onto Show,but the big man simply caught him. The heels tried to re-group going into break.

Edge was in control of the WWE Champion out of break. Jeff hit a Whisper in the Wind then Matt came in and missed a moonsault. Edge tagged Big Show who did some damage to Matt. Edge tagged in as the match slowed a bit. He worked the arm and rib area of Matt. Show lifted Matt by the arm and slammed him down. JR compared Show's fingers to railroad spikes and Tazz said they were as thick as sausages. Show and Edge cut off the ring as they worked Matt over. Matt back-dropped Edge but couldn't make the tag as Edge rolled him up for two. Show, unprovoked, walked away from the match and went backstage, just like on the Tribute to the Troops show (only he was provoked by Jericho then). Edge looked confused, but set up to spear Matt. Matt got the boot up then hit a Side Effect and both men were down. Tag was made to Jeff, who hit his usual offense on Edge. Poetry in Motion was hit by the brothers and Matt hit a bulldog. Then he landed the Twist of Fate and tagged Jeff, who hit the Swanton and made the pin.

WINNERS: Matt & Jeff Hardy, at 14:06. Solid main event that set up some things with Edge and Big Show but I hope they don't turn Show face again already.

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