The Official Wrestling Thread (now with more news and stuff)

[Arcademan]

WWE Smackdown Results: 4-27-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Parks' complete report).

1 – ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. THE BIG SHOW

This match was joined in progress with (what else?) hard slaps to the chest by Show. Show was building momentum, but Cody Rhodes came in and attacked for the disqualification.

WINNER: Show, via DQ, 1:54 shown. Not a lot to say about this one.

Cody Rhodes took a kendo stick to Show’s back after the match. Show no-sold it, and Show knocked a chair out of Cody’s hands. Before Cody could use his belt as a weapon, Show got the better of him and whipped Rhodes with the belt. Strap match on Sunday?

2 – ALICIA FOX vs. NIKKI BELLA

Fox was already in the ring. Cole said Beth will be invoking her rematch clause at Extreme Rules despite her injury. Jaw-breaker by Nikki, then a kick. Cover got one :16 in. Nikki settled into a rest-hold, stretching the right arm of Fox around her neck. Hair-pull take-down by Fox once she got to her feet, then she followed it up with dropkicks. Back elbow, then a matrix-like avoidance of a clothesline (how many Divas have done that now?). A switcheroo allowed Brie to come in. Face-buster and pin.

WINNER: Bella, at 1:48. Decent enough, considering the skill level of those involved.

3 – YOSHI TATSU & EZEKIEL JACKSON vs. TITUS O’NEIL & DARREN YOUNG

Cole called Tatsu and Jackson WWE’s answer to Rush Hour, while Teddy Long was playing Mrs. Doubtfire backstage. Long was at ringside parroting Laurinaitis’ comments from backstage. Young hot-shotted Tatsu off the top rope. Hard shot to the back by O’Neil. Quick tags by the heels and a double shoulder-knockdown on Tatsu. Near-fall got two at 1:08. Jackson was knocked off the apron as the heels tried a different version of their finisher from last week. It looked just as bad, but had the added advantage of almost breaking Tatsu’s neck too.

WINNERS: O’Neil and Young, at 1:46. Sorry, still not feeling these guys. I like Young as an individual, but don’t have much use for Titus at this point.

4 – ANTONIO CESARO vs. TYSON KIDD

Cole said Cesaro was kicked out of a rugby league for “excessive aggressiveness.” That’s pretty mid-90s for me. Cesaro picked Kidd up and suplexed him. He wore rugby-like socks around his quads. Kidd was thrown up into the air and Cesaro gave him a European Uppercut. Cradle pile-driver into a face-buster for the win.

WINNER: Cesaro, at 1:10. Nice debut for the former Claudio Castagnoli.

Teddy Long was told by Laurinaitis apparently to enter the ring and raise the hand of Aksana. Cesaro and Aksana then made out in front of Teddy as he looked like he was on the verge of tears.

5 – THE GREAT KHALI vs. CODY RHODES

Khali chopped Rhodes in the corner. Rhodes responded by dropkicking Khali in the leg. Dropkick off the top took Khali off his feet. Two-count after that. Khali looked to put Rhodes away, but Rhodes kicked him in the leg and tried a Disaster kick. Khali caught him and hit the Khali Bomb for the clean win.

WINNER: Khali, at 2:01. Rhodes has to win at Extreme Rules now, right?

6 – JACOB KAYE vs. RYBACK

Kaye got the mic and talked about all those ahead of him who have failed miserably to make a name for themselves. He talked about wanting all his life to escape Grand Rapids. He said tonight, he’ll be the first to score a victory over Ryback. I don’t really like how they’re doing the same thing every week, the jobber grabbing the mic (how come only guys against Ryback do that?) and showing people gathering to watch backstage. Does that only happen during Ryback matches? Other than that, I like Ryback’s actual squashes. Kaye tried to, I guess jump on Ryback, but Ryback tossed him away. Ryback put a boot to Kaye’s throat, then pressed him and brought him down in a slam. Clothesline took Kaye nearly out of his boots. “Finish him!” shouted Ryback. Then he did.

WINNER: Ryback, at 1:08. The Usos joined me in being impressed with Ryback’s match.

7 – SHEAMUS vs. MARK HENRY

They once again replayed Bryan’s fast count on Henry’s pin Monday night. Henry took Sheamus to the mat but missed a short clothesline. Sheamus took Henry out at the knee and got a two count. Sheamus found himself on the apron and propelled himself in with a shoulder knock-down. Cole acted like it was the first time he had seen that. Both men eyed each other as they went to break at 2:29.

Back at 6:07 of the match. Henry fought off a Sheamus attack and whipped Sheamus from inside to outside the ring. Back in the ring, Henry stayed in control. Sheamus made his comeback around 9:30 and landed a short DDT for a two-count. Sheamus lined up for the Brogue Kick but missed and Henry clotheslined him down. Sheamus got his boot up on a running splash attempt. Sheamus rolled through after missing a tope-rope move. Henry turned around into a Brogue Kick for the finish.

WINNER: Sheamus, at 11:04.

Daniel Bryan came out after the match and mockingly slow-clapped for Sheamus. Sheamus got a mic and invited Bryan to the ring. Sheamus asked if Bryan was afraid because he couldn’t hide behind a ref’s shirt…or was it because he was afraid Sheamus would beat him in 18 seconds? Sheamus desperately tried to get an 18 second chant started, and it only caught on mildly. He said Bryan won’t get off easy at Extreme Rules. He asked if he was going to kick Bryan’s arse to remain champion? The answer: Yes, yes, yes, yes.” Crowd caught on and chanted along with Sheamus as the show ended.

[Arcademan]

WWE Extreme Rules PPV Results: 4-29-12 (next 4 posts)

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's ongoing report).

A - U.S. champion SANTINO vs. THE MIZ -- U.S. Title match

Miz dominated early on as the announcers discusses Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena, mentioning Lesnar's UFC background to suggest Lesnar is in his element in an Extreme Rules match tonight. Cole also brought up Edge's pep-talk on Raw. Santino made his comeback, then finished off Miz with the Cobra in five minutes. Afterward, Striker wondered aloud what's next for Miz after the loss.

WINNER: Santino to retain the U.S. Title.

1 -- RANDY ORTON vs. KANE -- FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH
 
The match started with a few basic holds before weapons were quickly introduced into the action. Kane retrieved a rubber pipe from under the ring, but Orton turned the tables by bashing the pipe over Kane's back. The action then spilled to the floor and the audio picked up a few people screaming and shrieking. The action moved over the guardrail into the crowd, where the two men took turns bashing each other into various structures. Orton then landed consecutive offense and Booker said Orton is having "no mercy" on Kane tonight. Wrong PPV, Book. Kane then scored a nearfall on the floor as fans counted along with the nearfall.
 
Next, the two men brawled up the steps of the arena into a sea of people. They brawled next to a row of people wearing C.M. Punk t-shirts, then moved down the steps toward the stage/production area. Orton suddenly pulled out a wrestling move - a dropkick - to deck Kane and score a two count. He teased the RKO, but Kane blocked and landed a big boot for a nearfall on the floor.

Next, they brawled backstage, clearing random people out of the way. They moved into a side room down the hallway and exchanged right hand blows. Orton then threw Kane through a side door into a room where WWE personnel were watching the show on a monitor. Suddenly, Zack Ryder entered the scene by blasting away on Kane. Orton used the distraction to drop Kane with a back-breaker for a two count on the floor. Booker said he doesn't know what Ryder was thinking. Kane regained control of the "match" a few moments later, then blasted Orton out of the room back into the hallway.
 
Down the hallway they went, where Kane chucked an object at Orton before making a cover. The ref was slow to make the count, though, and Orton kicked out. The fight then moved back into the arena, where they fought on the stage. Orton then right-hand-punched Kane down the ramp toward the ringside area. And, back inside the ring they went at 10:30. Orton landed right hands to "Yes!" chants before landing a corner clothesline. Orton followed with a snap powerslam before rolling to the floor to retrieve a chair.
 
Back in the ring, Orton jabbed the chair into Kane's gut before cracking it over Kane's back. Another chair shot to the back. And, another. And, another. "Yes!" chants for each chair shot. Kane rolled out of the ring, though, so Orton followed out and jammed Kane into the announce table. Cole said Orton has lost it. Orton then cleared the English language announce table before Kane suddenly grabbed Orton around the neck. Orton blocked a chokeslam, though, and bashed Kane on top of the announce table. Orton then set up for and connected with his trademark elevated DDT off the announce table onto the floor. Orton made a cover, but Kane kicked out.
 
Orton and Kane reset with an RKO tease, but Kane shoved Orton into the ringpost. Kane made a cover on the floor, but Orton kicked out. Back in the ring, Kane climbed up top, but Orton sprung to his feet and crotched Kane. Orton then wanted an "evil" Superplex, as called by Lawler, and connected. Kane kicked out of a pin attempt, though. The announcers stressed that Kane seems indestructible tonight. Orton then wanted the RKO, but Kane blocked and nailed a chokeslam center-ring. Kane made a cover, but Orton kicked out in time, popping the crowd.
 
Kane, frustrated, reset with a chair involved in the proceedings. Kane wanted the Tombstone onto the chair, but Orton slipped out, ducked a clothesline, and RKO'ed Kane onto the chair to a big reaction. Orton was slow to recover, then made the cover for the three count. Orton wins.
 
WINNER: Orton at 16:45. Crazy, engaging match to start the PPV that WWE doesn't present often. (How the rest of the PPV fares after this will be interesting to see.) The story was clearly to make Kane seem like an indestructible monster within the match so it would mean more for Orton to finally score the fall. If Orton is going to be built up for a Brock Lesnar match this summer, he needed an emphatic win here after floundering on Smackdown the past six months.

2 -- BRODUS CLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/Jack Swagger and Vickie Guerrero)
 
The vocal males were in favor of Ziggler early in this match. Chaos in and out of the ring allowed Swagger to clothesline Clay on the outside. Clay was nearly counted out, but made it back into the ring, where Ziggler went on the attack. Ziggler worked over Clay, then Clay made a comeback and started shaking and jiggling. Clay suddenly delivered The Headbutt to a running Ziggler, who flew across the ring to sell the move. Clay followed with the big splash for the pin and the win. After the match, dancing ensued before WWE replayed The Headbutt a few times.
 
WINNER: Clay at 4:17. Basic TV-level buffer match after a wild opener. The Miz and Dolph Ziggler haven't exactly been positioned as future top heels, though, to start this PPV.

3 -- IC champion BIG SHOW vs. CODY RHODES -- Intercontinental Title match -- Tables match
 
Rhodes took a big chop to the chest, then flew across the ring via giant back body drop to start the match. Rhodes rolled to the outside to try to collect himself before Show set up a table in front of the announcers. Rhodes cut off Show at the knees, though, before the action spilled into the front row. Show then tossed Rhodes back over the rail to ringside before they re-entered the ring. Show tried to throw Rhodes into a table propped up in the ringside, but Rhodes ran off the table and transitioned in mid-air into a beautiful disaster kick. That was quite innovative.
 
The match moved to the floor again, and Show dismantled Rhodes, who complained about a hip injury. Show then landed another chop to the chest before rolling Rhodes into the ring. Rhodes rolled back out the other side to collect himself, but Show caught up with him and landed a knock-down clothesline. Rhodes sold an eye injury and called over the ref, but Show picked him up and rolled Rhodes back into the ring.
 
As Show was about to climb back into the ring, Rhodes dropkicked him lightly. To regain his balance, Show stepped through a table ringside and stopped when he realized his boo-boo. The ref saw it, then called for the bell, giving Rhodes the win because Show "went through a table" with his foot. Rhodes is the new IC champ.
 
Post-match: Rhodes celebrated, then Show got his heat back with a big mid-ring spear. The vocal males booed Show, who welcomed it. Show then set up a table center-ring as Cole called this poor sportsmanship. Show grabbed Rhodes and delivered a big chokeslam through a table as the vocal males booed and the casual fans cheered Show. Show, frustrated, started to leave the ring, but paused when he saw the broken table that cost him the match. Show then picked up Rhodes - now with a torn-up back - and tossed him clear over the top rope through a table in front of the announcers. Cody sold the impact before Show left the ring with his music playing. They replayed Cody's rough night at the office before showing Rhodes being tended to by refs and medics ringside. Rhodes eventually made it to his feet to hobble away with possession of the title.
 
WINNER: Rhodes at 4:37 to capture the IC Title. Exactly what the TV build-up and stipulation foretold - Rhodes gets a "win" to regain the title without Show having to lose. Then, Show stood tall in the post-match.

[Arcademan]

4 -- World Hvt. champion SHEAMUS vs. DANIEL BRYAN -- World Hvt. Title match -- 2/3 Falls match
 
Once the bell sounded, the two men engaged in a basic tie-up. And, 18 seconds is gone with no fall. Lawler noted he looked down at his watch to make sure 18 seconds has passed. Sheamus teased an early Brogue Kick, then smiled and told Bryan he was "that close." More feeling-out as the crowd chanted, "Yes! Yes!" Suddenly, Sheamus busted out a Texas Cloverleaf center-ring. Sheamus had trouble maintaining the hold, though, and Bryan reached the bottom rope for a break. Sheamus followed with a big clothesline, but Bryan came back with a clothesline of his own. Bryan then baseball kicked Sheamus to the outside.
 
On the floor, Sheamus caught Bryan flying off the apron and smashed Bryan back-first into the guardrail. Big visual and loud noise to sell the impact. Back in the ring, Bryan crotched Sheamus on the top rope, then went on the attack. Meanwhile, the crowd picked up a dueling chant of "Daniel Bryan / Eight-teen-seconds." Bryan slapped on a submission hold wrenching Sheamus's right arm every which way before using his foot to push Sheamus's shoulder down to the mat for a two count.
 
Bryan continued the assault, including choking Sheamus on the middle rope. Bryan broke the hold, then went old-school dramatically telling the ref that he has until five, before going back to the shoulder. Sheamus then made a comeback with a clothesline, shoulder, and big knee lift. Bryan tried to recover on the apron, but Sheamus blasted away with ten big forearm strikes to the chest. Sheamus followed with an overhead slam for a two count. But, he lost control airballing a corner attack, then Bryan rolled up Sheamus for a close nearfall.
 
At 11:00, Bryan took Sheamus up-top, but Sheamus knocked him down to the mat and landed a big shoulder block for a close nearfall of his own. As the wrestlers reset, Booker endorsed Bryan as the real deal and championship-material. Bryan then ducked a clothesline and Sheamus went flying over the top rope to the outside. Bryan then tried a flying suicide dive, but Sheamus blocked with a forearm from the outside. Back in the ring, Sheamus tried to finish off Bryan, but Bryan countered. Sheamus then blocked the "Yes! Lock" twice...then a third time. Sheamus suddenly went flying shoulder-first into the corner turnbuckle, and Bryan capitalized by ramming Sheamus shoulder-first into the ringpost twice. It's worth noting the ref was not counting a ten count.
 
Back in the ring, Bryan teed off on Sheamus with multiple kick strikes. Bryan continued to kick away at Sheamus, drawing the ref's ire and a five count. The ref then called for the end of the fall, giving Sheamus a DQ first fall. Well, that goes against Lilian's pre-show announcement that the winner will be a combination of two pinfalls and submissions. It's also inconsistent with the ref not counting a ten-count ringside.
 
*** Sheamus 1, Bryan 0 via DQ at 14:30 ***
 
After a brief pause, Bryan immediately went to the "Yes! Lock" center-ring. Sheamus sold that he was fading as the announcers said the ref should declare Sheamus unconscious. Sheamus sold life momentarily, but Bryan re-applied the hold and the ref was forced to call for the bell, giving Bryan the second fall.
 
*** Bryan 1, Sheamus 1 via submission at 16:40 ***
 
After the second fall, medics checked on Sheamus as Bryan chanted, "Yes! Yes!" over again. The crowd joined in, creating a hot atmosphere as Sheamus continued to be checked on by medics. The camera zoomed in tight on Sheamus, who said he can continue. The medics continued to evaluate Bryan, who orchestrated a dueling "Yes! No!" chant. Sheamus struggled to his feet as the ref and medics continued to evaluate Sheamus. The ref then called for a re-start of the action, Bryan charged Sheamus, and Sheamus blasted Bryan with a Brogue Kick out of nowhere. Great sequence. Sheamus was slow to make the cover, though, before covering Bryan for a two count only. "And, we continue," Cole said.
 
Champ and Challenger reset at 20:00 with the two men slow to their feet. Bryan was the first man to land offense with a kick strike. They started trading bombs before Bryan blasted Sheamus with a kick to the side of the head. Bryan made a cover, but Sheamus kicked out in time. Bryan tried a top-rope attack next, but Sheamus cut him off with his good arm. Sheamus and Bryan battled up-top before Bryan headbutted Sheamus to the mat. Bryan then stood tall on the turnbuckle, flew off the top, but missed with a diving headbutt.
 
Sheamus came up hot with a comeback at 22:20. Sheamus delivered the Irish Curse backbreaker before surveying the crowd and pounding his chest. Sheamus wanted to end the match and absolutely destroyed Bryan with a Brogue Kick that Bryan sold by going inside-out. Sheamus then made a quick cover for the pin and the win. Sheamus is still World champ. Afterward, they replayed the finish before Sheamus left the ring with possession of the gold. Lawler asked if there's any way for Bryan to blame that loss on A.J. "No," Cole said dejectedly.
 
WINNER: Sheamus 2-1 falls at 22:55. Excellent, excellent bout. Bryan was phenomenal in defeat and Sheamus came out of this looking strong headed into the next chapter of his title run. I didn't expect A.J. to get involved, so that was good to keep the Bryan-A.J. story off the PPV and on TV. It will be interesting to see what they do with Bryan following the PPV, and how he will try to blame A.J. for the loss. (***3/4)

5 -- RYBACK vs. AARON RELIC & JAY HATTON -- handicap match
 
Once the bell sounded, the crowd chanted, "Goldberg." After Ryback dismantled the first jobber, the crowd chanted Goldberg's name again. Ryback then destroyed the second jobber before pinning both men. Backstage, Santino and Khali commented in an indiscernible language. After a replay of the "match," Ryback shouted that he needs more.

WINNER: Ryback at 1:51. Another buffer match trying to get mid-card stars on PPV. Fine to space out the big matches and let the audience take a breather.

[Arcademan]

6 -- WWE champion C.M. PUNK vs. CHRIS JERICHO -- WWE Title match -- Chicago Street Fight
 
Once the bell sounded, the two men remained in their corners. Punk, who did not remove his t-shirt, charged at Jericho, who met him center-ring. They traded blows to make this feel like a fight, then Jericho retreated to the outside. Punk smashed Jericho, then found a Kendo stick under the ring and used it to blast away at Jericho in the ring. Punk tried a wild swing, but missed, and Jericho slipped to the outside to run away. Punk chased him down inside the ring, then landed a big clothesline. Punk followed with a Kendo stick to the back, then pointed to his sister to say that one was for her. Jericho then grabbed the referee to hide, which allowed him to thumb Punk in the eye when Punk took his eye off the ball.
 
Jericho, with his first offense of the night, popped Punk in the gut with a Kendo stick, then dropkicked Punk off the ring apron to the floor. Jericho arrogantly raised his arm in the air to celebrate his offense, then followed to the outside to inflict more damage. Back in the ring, Jericho removed a top turnbuckle pad and threw it down at Punk, who suddenly came back with Ric Flair chops. Punk went for a corner knee, but Jericho side-stepped and dumped Punk to the floor.
 
On the floor, Jericho removed the padding from the guardrail area right in front of Punk's family. Jericho taunted Punk's family, then Punk's sister reached back and slapped Jericho. Jericho paused to sell, then lunged at Punk's sister, but Punk came out of nowhere with a big splash to Jericho's back. Punk went nuts, clearing the announce table, before slamming Jericho onto the announce table lid. Punk then removed his t-shirt and stalked Jericho. He wanted a piledriver on the floor, but Jericho back-dropped Punk to the floor. Jericho then smashed a TV monitor across Punk's back before breaking the announce table lid across Punk's back.
 
Back in the ring, Jericho made a cover for a nearfall. Jericho then settled into a mathold working over Punk's back. Punk suddenly tried a high-flying move, but stumbled off the top rope and Jericho capitalized with multiple Kendo stick shots. Jericho taunted Punk, telling him to look at his sister and calling him a drunk. Punk suddenly went for a small package, drawing a two count, then Jericho cut off Punk with a step-up enziguiri. Next, Jericho went under the ring to retrieve a can of beer. In the ring, Jericho raised the beer in the air before pouring it over Punk's head.
 
Jericho then went back under the ring to grab another beer. Jericho started chugging the beer, so Punk back-kicked him before cracking the Kendo stick over Jericho's back. Punk then scored with a Kendo stick-aided leg whip off the ropes to deck Jericho. "C-M-Punk" chant as Punk delivered his combination high knee and bulldog. Punk then crotched Jericho with the Kendo stick before calling for the end. Jericho slipped out of the GTS, though, and the two men countered each other, resulting in a stalemate.
 
At 14:00, they reset with Punk deciding to go up top. Jericho scrambled to the corner, though, and crotched Punk. Jericho then lit up Punk with chops and slaps before climbing up top. However, Punk fought him off, then gathered himself, and came off the top with a Macho Man elbow drop, but Jericho kicked out of a pin in-time. A light "Randy Savage" chant followed, then Jericho landed a bulldog after slipping out of the GTS. Jericho gathered himself before trying the Lionsault, but Punk blocked. Jericho blocked the GTS, though, before running Punk head-first into a chair wedged in the corner.
 
Jericho hit the Codebreaker out of nowhere, but didn't make a cover. He opted for the Liontamer, which he transitioned into the Walls of Jericho. Punk reached the bottom rope for a break, but there are no breaks in a Street Fight, so Punk pulled them through the ropes for him to reach down and grab a fire extinguisher outside the ring. Jericho didn't see Punk grab the extinguisher, though, and Punk sprayed him in the face to break the hold. Punk then jabbed the extinguisher into Jericho's gut to knock him to the floor. On the outside, Punk placed Jericho on the Spanish announce table before going back into the ring. The crowd roared, wanting a top-rope dive, then Punk positioned himself up-top. Punk nearly lost his balance, but recovered, smiled, raised his arms in the air, and flew onto Jericho through the table with a big elbow.
 
After a pause for the move to sink in and for both men to sell the effects, Punk slowly rolled Jericho back into the ring, then slowly made a cover, but Jericho kicked out. Punk followed right up with his submission center-ring. Jericho had nowhere to go, but he grabbed a Kendo stick. Jericho dropped the stick, though, but then grabbed it again and smashed Punk with the stick over Punk's head multiple times to finally break the hold. Big counter. They reset, then Jericho smashed Punk with a codebreaker into a chair. Booker gave away a kick-out saying there will be a new champion, then Punk kicked out of a pin attempt.
 
At 24:20, Jericho got up, angered, and told Punk to stay down and give up. Jericho then slowly lifted Punk to his feet before setting up for Punk's GTS finisher. Jericho arrogantly walked around the ring before declaring he's the Best in the World. Punk countered the GTS, though, and catapulted Jericho into the exposed turnbuckle. Punk then followed right up with the GTS center ring, and it was good for the pin and the win. Big crowd reaction, then Punk's sister was shown celebrating on the front row. Cole said Punk proved something tonight by taking everything Jericho had to dish out and more. After a replay of the high points, Punk was shown jumping into the crowd to celebrate with his hometown fans and family members.
 
WINNER: Punk at 25:15 to retain the WWE Title. That was a heck of a Street Fight as a standalone fight, and went to the next level incorporating elements from their Mania match, the TV build-up, Jericho's heel character, and Punk's resiliency. It looks like Punk-Jericho is over, but they could have Jericho do something on TV to push for another re-match at Over the Limit next month. (****1/4)

7 -- Divas champion NIKKI BELLA (w/Brie Bella) vs. MYSTERY OPPONENT -- Divas Title match
 
The Bellas came to the ring first and Lawler suggested he give them a massage since they look a little tense. Before her mystery opponent came out, Nikki cut a promo vowing to be the longest-reigning Divas champion in WWE history. Suddenly, Lay-Cool's music hit. Layla (not Michelle McCool) came out, making her in-ring return after a year-long absence. After a back-and-forth, Layla scored a quick pinfall to win the title in her return match.
 
WINNER: Layla at 2:45 to capture the Divas Title. It looks like the Bellas are out, then WWE will transition to Kharma and Layla in a feud after Eve name-dropped Kharma backstage. It's potentially Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim from TNA's early Knockouts division brought to WWE TV.
 

[Arcademan]

8 -- JOHN CENA vs. BROCK LESNAR -- Extreme Rules match
 
Once the bell sounded, Lesnar charged right at Cena and tackled him mid-ring. Lesnar lit up Cena with right hands, then smashed him with a clothesline. Cena was busted wide open and the ref pulled out his gloves to check on Cena. After a pause, Lesnar went back on the attack with more massive blows to Cena's head. A medic entered the ring to check on Cena as they replayed Lesnar's match-opening shots to the head. Back live, Cena suddenly tried to tackle Lesnar, but Lesnar tackled him and landed more blows to the head. Lesnar continued to blast away at Cena before landing a big knee to the gut. Lesnar then knocked Cena to the outside and told him to come bring it on. The announcers sold awe as Lesnar bounced around in the ring and smiled.
 
Cena slowly re-entered the ring before a medic checked on Cena again as the crowd booed. Cena then waved off the medic, then caught Lesnar with a back-elbow. Cena suddenly tried the AA, but Lesnar blocked and landed two German suplexes. Lesnar then stalked Cena, but Cena fought back with back elbows. Cena then smashed Lesnar into the ref, who was bumped to the outside. Lesnar then smashed Cena off the ropes with a big shoulder tackle to cut off Cena.
 
They reset with Lesnar stalking Cena, who was covered in blood. Lesnar then placed Cena in a submission hold inside the ropes and Cena screamed out in pain. Lesnar eventually knocked Cena to the outside before bouncing around inside the ring. On the floor, Lesnar slapped on a submission before ramming Cena into the guardrail in front of the two young Cena fans on the front row who must be traumatized after tonight's show. Back in the ring, Lesnar grabbed Cena's chain, but then dropped the chain, conveying that he doesn't need a weapon to finish off Cena. Lesnar then smashed Cena in the ribs before grabbing the chain again. Lesnar wrapped Cena's ankles together with the chain before taunting Cena to get up.
 
At 8:30, Lesnar hung Cena upside-down in the corner before taunting Cena some more. Lesnar teed off on Cena with right hands before snapping his left arm down toward the mat. Lesnar then walked to the other side of the ring to check on the ref, who was still KO'ed. Lesnar saw Cena get up, so he went after Cena, who fought back with right hands before Lesnar whipped Cena into the ring steps. Lesnar smirked, then walked back over to the ref and tossed him back into the ring.
 
At 11:00, Cena tried to climb back into the ring, where Lesnar awaited. Suddenly, Cena teased the AA, but Lesnar blocked and hit the F5 center-ring. In the process, the ref was KO'ed again. Lesnar made a cover, waited for a second referee, and Cena kicked out. Lesnar then destroyed the second ref since he's untouchable due to the demands Laurinaitis signed. This is great making Lesnar seem like he's untouchable and is too dangerous for WWE. A third ref came to ringside as Cole said Laurinaitis's agreement is "biting him in the *** right now."
 
Lesnar placed ring steps in the ring as the intensity picked up in the arena. Lesnar stood tall on the ring steps, then Cena tried to fight back, but Lesnar slapped on another arm submission trying to break Cena's arm. The crowd picked up a dueling chant as Cena fought the hold, then suddenly lifted Lesnar a few feet off the ground before slamming Lesnar back-first on the ring steps. Cena then slowly went up top and went for a guillotine, but Lesnar moved and Cena ate the mat. Cena rolled out of the ring as the crowd came down from Level 8 to Level 3. In the ring, Lesnar stood on the ring steps again to taunt Cena, who slowly made his way back into the ring.
 
Once Cena entered the ring, Lesnar bounced off the ropes, then flew off the ring steps into a flying splash onto Cena, taking both men off the ring apron to the floor. That was a sick risk. Lesnar came up selling his left knee, then medics checked on Lesnar. Lesnar limped it off, then smiled and lifted his arms in the air. Cole called him sick. But, in the background, Cena wrapped the chain around his fist. Lesnar then wanted another flying splash, but Cena popped Lesnar in the head with the chain. Cena then entered Super Cena mode and begged Lesnar to get up. Cena got himself fired up, stalked a now-bloody Lesnar, wanted the AA on the ring steps, waited, and delivered the AA on the ring steps. Cena made a cover on the ring steps and scored a pin for the win. The crowd exploded for an emphatic finish to an intense match/fight/brawl/spectacle.
 
WINNER: Cena at 17:43. This PPV went exactly how I thought it would until the outcome here with Lesnar losing. It felt like WWE realized they needed to protect Cena, as it could kill their star to lose another big PPV main event twice in the same month. Where they go from here with Cena was spelled out in the post-match. Where they go from here with Lesnar will be really interesting. As for the match, it was super-intense, had good storytelling with Lesnar the big, bad bully dominating and offering physicality not seen in years, and gave Lesnar his "out" by getting about five wins before Cena got the decisive pinfall. (***1/2)
 
Post-match: Medics and refs hit the ring to check on Cena, who told a medic that his left arm is "f-----." The announcers covered for Lesnar, saying this match had to be stopped on two separate occasions before Cena came back for the win. Lesnar acted punch-drunk ringside, ready to fight some more. It was like Triple H at WM27 standing tall while the winner was barely alive in the ring. After replays of Lesnar dominating Cena before Cena won, they showed Cena standing tall in the ring, his face covered in blood. Cole said Cena knows he was in the fight of his life. Lawler said Cena never would have been the same if he lost here after losing to The Rock at WrestleMania.
 
Cena then took a mic and sat down on the ring steps. He said he's probably going to get sent home for speaking when he's not supposed to (trying to sell this as a shoot), but he's going home anyways. Cena said this might be C.M. Punk's town, but this is also a wrestling town. He said the people were supposed to see an extreme show tonight and he's proud it was in Chicago. The crowd cheered. Cena said all of them - bad guys, good guys, everyone - give everything they have every night. Cena said if he's going to take a vacation, it was a great way to go out. Cena said if he's going out, there's no other way he would want to leave. Cena dropped the mic and slowly left the ring, still selling the arm from Lesnar's submissions. They signed off at 9:57, three minutes before the top of the hour.

[Arcademan]

WWE RAW Results: 4-30-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed to in-ring results only.

1 -- U.S. champion SANTINO vs. THE MIZ -- Beat the Clock Challenge -- non-title match

Cole said they will have medical updates on Hunter throughout the night and Lawler said Lesnar has been escorted out of the building. As for Miz and Santino, they started with back-and-forth action before Santino sold a left knee injury. Miz then smashed Santino with a kick to the chest, followed by a kick to the face for a two count. Miz slowed down the pace, which the announcers noted is not smart strategy. The clock moved past 3:00 as the crowd chanted for the Cobra. Santino then made a comeback before dropping the Sailor's Salute headbutt.

Santino reached into his trunks to grab the Cobra, but Miz ducked the finisher. Miz then rolled up Santino, but Santino countered for a two count. Miz then popped Santino in the face with a boot to the head before grappling Santino for the Skullcrushing Finale. Miz made the pin for the win. Cole called the time as 4:19, but the clock showed 4:18. My timer showed 04:18:652. Cole then went with the graphic, which showed 4:18. So, that's the official time to beat.

WINNER: Miz at 4:18/4:19. Solid TV match that the crowd was engaged in. Classic Even-Steven with Miz getting his win back after the PPV last night.

2 -- Divas champion LAYLA vs. BRIE BELLA vs. NIKKI BELLA -- three-way Divas Title match

The Bellas argued with each other, so Layla dropkicked them into each other, then rolled up one of the Bellas for a quick win. Post-match, the Bellas argued ringside before they replayed the "match" as Layla celebrated on the way out.

WINNER: Layla at 0:15 to retain the Divas Title. And, that gets the re-match clause out of the way and apparently ends the Bellas's WWE run for now. No Kharma, though.

3 -- CHRIS JERICHO vs. BIG SHOW -- Beat the Clock Challenge

Show quickly attacked a bandaged Jericho, who was sporting athletic tape over his right elbow. Jericho absorbed an early attack before kicking Show at the legs to begin working over the big man. Jericho then tried coming off the top rope, but Show intercepted with a giant hand to the chest. Show wanted to follow with a Vader Bomb, but Jericho moved. Jericho then landed the Lionsault, but sold a neck injury and could only score a two count on a pin attempt. Big Show suddenly went for a small package roll-up, but Jericho escaped the pin attempt. Jericho followed with a DDT as the clock ticked down. Jericho checked the clock, then charged Show, who nailed him with a spear. Show covered, but Jericho kicked out. They cut to a shot of Miz watching the match backstage.

With one minute left on the clock, Show stood up and teased the WMD, but Jericho ducked. Jericho then tried the Codebreaker, but Show lifted Jericho into the air. Jericho then used his momentum to pull Show over the top rope to the floor. Both men crashed to the floor as the ref began a ten count. 20 seconds on the clock. Show then went flying over the guardrail as Jericho returned to ringside. Jericho pulled himself back into the ring and the buzzer sounded just before the ref hit a ten count to count out Show. So, Jericho wins, but he didn't beat the clock. Cole said he beat the time, though. Lawler said he doesn't think Jericho beat the time. As Show sold anguish, Lawler said they'll sort it out when they come back.

WINNER: Jericho via count-out at 4:20. A made-for-TV special with a sense of urgency in the ring that the crowd bought into.

4 -- BRODUS CLAY vs. JTG

After the bell sounded, Lawler claimed JTG has a strategy for Clay tonight. JTG landed a boot to the gut, but Clay bounced him off the ropes before delivering a big shoulder tackle. JTG tried to come back by going after the knees, but Clay brushed him aside and delivered The Headbutt followed by his big splash for the pin and the win. After the match, Clay brought two boys and a girl into the ring for the post-match dance celebration.

WINNER: Clay at 1:40.

5 -- RANDY ORTON vs. JACK SWAGGER (w/Vickie Guerrero) -- Beat the Clock Challenge

4:18 is the time to beat. Orton scored a close nearfall early on as Cole noted Orton is a former nine-time champion. Swagger suddenly delivered a flying Vader Bomb out of the corner before stalking Orton for a gutwrench, but Orton slipped out and delivered his fallaway backbreaker. Orton then went for a clothesline, but Swagger ducked and smashed Orton's left knee with a spear. Orton followed with a shoulder tackle as the crowd rallied with a loud "RKO" chant. Swagger continued to wear down Orton, drawing questions from Lawler on whether he was taking too long.

Swagger checked the clock and went for another Vader Bomb, but Orton popped to his feet and kicked Swagger in the gut in mid-air. Orton made a full comeback before setting up for and connecting with the second-rope spike DDT. With 35 seconds remaining, Orton got the crowd fired up going to That Place. He wanted the RKO, but Swagger ducked and slapped on the Anklelock. Swagger checked the clock and tried to apply more pressure, but Orton flung him away and dropped Swagger with the RKO. Orton made a cover with two seconds to spare, setting a new time. Backstage, Miz sold frustration with Orton beating his time.

WINNER: Orton at 4:16 to set a new time. Nice showcase for both men, especially Swagger, who needed something. For Orton, it's a solid TV win, and he won't lose anything if someone else beats his time.

6 -- WWE tag champions PRIMO & EPICO (w/Rosa Mendes) vs. R-TRUTH & KOFI KINGSTON -- WWE Tag Title match

Cole noted AW has approached the tag champs in recent weeks to inquire about a business relationship. The challengers cleared the heel champs to the outside and WWE cut to break one minute into the match.

Back from break, Truth scored a two count on a pin attempt on Primo. Lawler slipped in some news that he received during the break that Triple H's arm "is indeed broken." Cole wondered what's going to happen to Lesnar in the future. In the ring, the heels cut off Truth after Truth attempted a comeback. After Primo worked over Truth some more, Truth suddenly nailed a leg whip before leaping across the ring to tag in Kingston. Kingston came flying off the top with a springboard smash on Epico, who also tagged in. Chaos ensued moments later involving Rosa, then Kofi caught Epico with Trouble in Paradise. Kofi with the pin and the win for new tag champs. Post-match, the new champs celebrated as Rosa tried to figure out how this happened.

WINNERS: Kingston & Truth at 7:03. Well, WWE did close to nothing with Primo & Epico as tag champs, so it's time to see if another team can build momentum.

7 -- GREAT KHALI vs. KANE -- Beat the Clock Challenge

This is the fourth Beat the Clock Challenge match, with one more to go. Kane quickly chopped down Khali to begin wearing him down. The crowd was not interested as Kane beat down Khali before he went up top for a flying clothesline. Kane made a cover, but Khali kicked out. Kane checked the clock as Lawler noted these two men are not built for speed.

Under a minute, Khali scored with his first offense of the match. Khali ran over Kane with clotheslines, then delivered The Chop, but Kane rolled to the outside. Khali, dumbfounded, decided to head over the top rope to the floor to retrieve Kane. The fight continued ringside before Khali tossed Kane back inside the ring. In the ring, Kane grappled a slow-moving Khali. Khali then grappled him, too, and the clock expired with the two men standing there.

Post-match: The crowd booed the result and the match, so Kane decided to chokeslam Khali to end the segment. Kane, frustrated, stormed out of the ring as Orton was shown clapping backstage.

WINNER: No Contest at 4:16. Well, it's over now.

8 -- DANIEL BRYAN vs. JERRY LAWLER -- Beat the Clock Challenge

The final BTCC match started with Bryan blasting away at Lawler before scoring an early nearfall. Bryan landed consecutive right hands that drew audible "Yes!" chants from the pocket of vocal males. Bryan continued go after Lawler before they showed Orton watching nervously backstage. Lawler then side-stepped a corner attack before going to the second rope for his trademark fist drop. Lawler covered, but Bryan kicked out in time. Lawler then wanted the piledriver, but Bryan back-dropped out. Bryan followed with a kick to the head before slapping on the Yes! Lock. Lawler tapped out rather quickly, giving Bryan the win. He's the new #1 contender.

WINNER: Bryan via submission at 2:20 to become #1 contender to the WWE Title. WWE is obviously marketing this PPV toward hardcore fans with a Punk-Bryan title match. Of course, they can unfairly blame both men if the PPV doesn't draw on a very fast turnaround following Mania and the big Lesnar-Cena PPV last night.

[Arcademan]

Ring of Honor TV Results: 4-28-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Radican's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 - - ROH World Tag Team Champions JAY & MARK BRISCOE vs. CAPRICE COLEMAN & CEDRICK ALEXANDER – Proving Ground match

Kelly discussed the Briscoes upcoming ROH World Tag Team title defense against WGTT in a Fight Without Honor at the upcoming “Border Wars” at iPPV. The Briscoes worked over Alexander, but he managed to tag in Coleman, who ran wild on the Briscoes. Jay ducked a kick and hit a chokeslam on Coleman. That move looks so odd when it’s not a big man doing it. Mark tagged in and walked the ropes before dropping an elbow on Coleman, which drew a pop from the crowd. Coleman escaped the Briscoes moments later and tagged in Alexander, who ran wild. The announcers touched on the excellent Elgin vs. Richards match during WrestleMania weekend and hinted at possible dissension in the House of Truth between Strong and Elgin. The Briscoes turned the tide and hit a tandem neckbreaker on Alexander with Coleman down on the outside.

Coleman shoved Jay off the top to the outside. WGTT then ran out and nailed Jay with a low blow that the ref didn’t see it. Coleman hit a running hurricanrana on Mark and Alexander followed up with a big splash off the top for the win.

Winners: Cedrick Alexander & Caprice Coleman – This was a good, short television match. The announcers got a chance to highlight the ongoing war between the Briscoes and WGTT while touching on several highlights from the WrestleMania weekend shows. The way Alexander & Coleman won the match doesn’t exactly establish them as credible threats to the ROH World Tag Team titles, although they are certainly deserving of being booked in that position.

2 - - RHINO (w/Truth Martini) vs. VINNY MARSEGLIA

Rhino went to town on Marseglia and hit the gore for the pin.

Winner: Rhino – That was a good and effective squash.

3 - - ROH TV Champion RODERICK STRONG (w/Truth Martini) vs. ADAM COLE

Cole caught Strong with a neckbreaker during the early going for a 2 count. Strong fired back with some chops a short time later. Cole caught Strong with a boot in the corner and hit an elbow off the second rope for another 2 count. Kelly said Strong and lucked into a title opportunity during WrestleMania weekend with Ciampa goading Lethal into putting his title on the line against Strong. Strong got the upper hand and put the boots to Cole in the corner. Kelly put over Elgin on commentary and said his match against Richards at “Showdown in the Sun: Day 2” was a must-have for your DVD collection. Strong continued to work over Cole, focusing on his back. Kelly said Steen would face O’Reilly next week on television. Kelly pitched to a commercial break.

They came back from commercial with Cole trying to mount a comeback. Strong cut him off and hit a big backbreaker for a nearfall. Cole tried to fire back against with punches. He finally ducked a charge from Strong in the corner and took him down with a flurry of offense. Cole then got a nearfall with a dropkick. McGuinness wondered if he would be able to finish off Strong with his German suplex. Elgin came down to ringside. Cole hit a flying knee on Strong for another 2 count. Strong caught Cole by surprise with a rollup for a 2 count. Strong avoided a charge in the corner and hit a gut buster for a 2 count. Cole countered a suplex and dropped Strong head-first onto his knee for a nearfall. Cole went for a slingshot, but Strong shoved him into Elgin on the outside. Cole rolled up Strong and when Strong kicked out he hit a dive through the ropes on Elgin. Cole hit the cross body that pinned Richards on Strong, but Strong kicked out at the last second. Martini nailed Cole with the Book of Truth with the ref trying to hold back Elgin. Strong then hit a huge backbreaker on Cole for the win.

Kelly quickly mentioned Ciampa-Taven and Steen-O’Reilly as being scheduled for next week on ROH television before the show ended.

Winner: Roderick Strong to retain the ROH TV title – A very good main event that played into the ongoing tension being teased between Strong and Elgin. They also protected Cole nicely by having Martini’s interference cost him the win.

[Arcademan]

WWE NXT Results: 5-2-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to James's complete report).

1 - TYSON KIDD & ALEX RILEY vs. JTG & JOHNNY CURTIS (w/Maxine) - Tag Team Match

Kidd tries a quick schoolboy on Curtis for one. Regal pretends to be concerned about Maxine, and she complains that her wrist hurts and she's been putting Vaseline on it every day. Regal says that he's passing on the obvious joke there. Kidd shows off his technical acumen, and Maxine is acting miserable. Kidd is insanely phenomenal, as he puts on a 3-plus-star match every time he enters the ring. Riley tags in, but Curtis is able to get JTG in. JTG eats a huge hip toss for two.

JTG takes over as Maxine tries to sweet-talk Regal. Mathews reminds her of her history as Riley lands a spinebuster on JTG and clears Curtis from the ring. Riley to the top rope, but Curtis provides a distraction for JTG to throw Riley to the mat for two.

Curtis is controlling Riley out of the break, and JTG tags in. Riley gets some separation, but Curtis tags in before Riley gets Kidd in the game.

There's some inconsistency on commentary, as Maxine acts like she has to be with Curtis all day long, but last week it was said that they only need to be chained together on NXT. Curtis and JTG continue to isolate Riley, then Riley with a sunset flip on Curtis, and we hear someone calling spots. The crowd is rallying behind Riley, but they can't get him out of the corner. Maxine ticks off a list of Curtis's flaws, and JTG lands the Mugshot for two. Regal lauds JTG for showing Curtis how to work in a tag team. Riley fights off a superplex from Curtis, then plants him with a top-rope clothesline.

Double tag and Kidd goes nuts on JTG. Side Russian legsweep from the second rope gets two for Kidd. So nice. Curtis interferes, but Riley helps him clear the field, then Kidd lands a dive over the top on JTG and Curtis. Kidd locks on the "Dungeon Lock" (Kidd's new submission finisher) and JTG's tapping like mad.

WINNERS: Tyson Kidd & Alex Riley in 12:30. (Asst. Editor's Note: This ends Alex Riley's 14-match losing streak in TV/online matches.) Curtis and JTG managed to not bore despite a very long beat down on Riley; the commentary enhanced the match by giving the audience something to sink their teeth into during what would normally be the bathroom break portion of the match. Also, Maxine is doing an outstanding job with her sulkin;, she actually sounded almost exactly like my sister when she's upset, both in tone and in content. Brilliant. If NXT was still on TV, Maxine would be getting an Emmy.

2. PERCY WATSON vs. MICHAEL MCGILLICUTTY

Watson takes it to McGillicutty, playing up his anger. Watson has changed up his offense a bit, with a series of jumping knee strikes. McGillicutty turns it around, and focuses on Watson's taped knee. McGillicutty takes Watson down hard by the leg and the ref insists on checking Watson.

Watson is struggling to stay alive out of the break. Mathews has been criticizing Regal's decisions all match. McGillicutty locks in a figure-four for a lengthy submission hold fight. Watson finally is able to punch his way out, but hobbles to the corner. Watson gets fired up and tees off on McGillicutty, but McGillicutty reverses a whip and goes back to work on the knee. Watson kicks McGillicutty through the ropes to get some space.

McGillicutty re-enters, and Watson is finally able to get some offense in. Watson with a knee-lift into a jumping neckbreaker for two. Watson wants the Percycution, but McGillicutty slips out and lands the Turning Heads neckbreaker for the win.

WINNER: Michael McGillicutty in 11:30. I don't think it makes McGillicutty look good to take so long to put away an already-injured Watson.

[Arcademan]

WWE Superstars Results: 5-3-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to James's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 - MASON RYAN vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER

If Ziggler doesn't win in under five minutes, I riot...

Matt Striker and Scott Stanford are in the booth, one of my favorite pairs. The bell rings and Ziggler immediately hits a dropkick and takes it to Ryan. Ryan comes back with a big press to a drop, and Ziggler rolls out of the ring. Ryan now has a ponytail, so he looks like a muscled-up Steven Seagal. Ryan tosses Ziggler into the ring, and Striker suggests that Ryan needs a manager. Will this lead to him joining AW's stable?

Ziggler hits Ryan's knees and gets some offense in. Striker compares Ryan to Ken Patera - that's laughable - and asks if anyone's physique compares to him. Umm, Chris Masters? Ziggler is trying to rip Ryan's head off with a cravat of sorts, using a bridge for extra leverage. Ryan makes a comeback for a moment, but Ziggler takes it to him and moves to a side chinlock on the mat. Ryan then stands up and throws Ziggler off him. Ryan gets a head of steam with the "Ryan Express," as Striker terms it, but Ziggler dodges a charge and hits the Zig-Zag for the win. Post-match, Striker reiterated Ryan's need for a manager.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler at 5:10. That's the precise, bell-to-bell time, so I guess it's time to have a riot of one. Well, at least the booking was right, and Mason Ryan should definitely be in the Ezekiel Jackson category of "useful to give someone a win over a visually-impressive big-man" at his current skill level.

2 - ZACK RYDER vs. MICHAEL MCGILLICUTTY

Ryder makes the "call me" sign at McGillicutty. McGillcutty with a Swagger-like takedown to start the match. The crowd is hot for Ryder, who fights out of the corner and takes over the match for a hot moment. McGillicutty kicks Ryder's legs out and starts to work over Ryder with power. Ryder flapjacks McGillicutty, then clotheslines him out of the ring. Ryder with a slingshot plancha and rolls McGillicutty back in. McGillicutty ambushes him on the way in.

Ryder is struggling to get traction out of the break. Ryder eventually gets some sustained offense, with his traditional comeback, and a Broski Boot gets a nearfall. McGillicutty counters the Rough Ryder and sends Ryder into the turnbuckle. Ryder bounces out of the corner a few moments later to land the Rough Ryder for the win.

WINNER: Zack Ryder in 7:00. Decent match. Ryder is consistently "decent" and McGillicutty has been improving by leaps and bounds.

3 - GREAT KHALI vs. JINDER MAHAL

This is becoming the default Superstars match lately, like when Cryme Tyme fought the Hart Dynasty literally every week for months. The only difference is Tyson Kidd isn't in the ring and even Natalya couldn't distract me from Khali's poor wrestling.

Mahal makes the mistake of locking up with Khali, just like every other time I see them against each other. Mahal tries strikes, but eats a chop to the head. Khali sends him to the corner for the frying pan chop crowd-pleaser. Another corner, another chop. Khali sends Mahal over the ropes. Mahal hot-shots Khali on the ropes, then goes to work with kicks and knees using the ropes for leverage.

Mahal ducks a big boot in the corner and goes back to offense. Mahal starts to work Khali's knees - I don't know why when they've already been Tonya Harding'ed judging by the way Khali walks. Mahal to the middle rope, but gets caught on the way down. Khali starts an offensive barrage. Matt Striker: "Khali's lack of mobility is not a hindrance here, as Mahal keeps running into the Great Khali," just as Mahal runs into Khali multiple times to eat forearms. He eventually runs in again, only to be caught with the Punjabi Plunge. Three count and it's over.

WINNER: The Great Khali in 4:45. It is nearly impossible for me to watch a Khali match and not be snarky and sarcastic. He puts me in a foul mood. I've seen this match too many times in the last few months, and it never gets better. Ted DiBiase, please get better and feud with Jinder Mahal again. Or, Trent Baretta. Anyone.

[Arcademan]

TNA Impact Wrestling Results: 5-3-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Turner's complete report). Condensed here like a can of milk.

1 -- TNA Knockouts champions GAIL KIM & MADISON RAYNE vs. BROOKE TESSMACHER & VELVET SKY

Rayne and Kim blindsided both Sky and Tessmacher before it boiled down to Sky and Kim in the ring. Kim and Rayne exchanged tags and beat on Sky with some double-team maneuvers. Rayne eventually hit a heel kick on Sky for a close two count. Kim went for a top rope huracanrana, but Sky held onto the ropes and hit a bulldog on Kim which allowed her to get the hot tag. Tessmacher had a flurry of offense, but was eventually taken down with a clothesline from Kim. Kim was the victim of her own finisher as Tessmacher hit her with Eat Da Feet for the win.

WINNERS: Tessmacher & Sky via pinfall at 4:49. They have to make Tessmacher feel like a credible threat to win the title, but I feel bad for Kim for having to lose to Tessmacher three times in a row. Hopefully she picks up the win when they meet for the Knockouts Title. For the little amount of offense Tessmacher had, she looked sloppy in the ring.

2 -- TNA Television champion DEVON vs. ROBBIE T. (w/ ROBBIE E.) -- Television Title match

Robbie T. was quick to attack Devon before the bell and he laid him out with a clothesline and a shoulder tackle. He hit a front powerslam on Devon for a two count. Devon came back with a pair of flying shoulder tackles, and hit a diving headbutt off the top rope for a two count. Robbie E. distracted Devon in an attempt to allow Robbie T. to get some offense, but when that failed, he resorted to his guest list and broke it over Devon’s head as the referee called for the disqualification.

WINNER: Devon via disqualification at 2:46 to retain the TNA Television Title. Last week, I said I didn’t want to see Devon feud with Bully Ray, but I think I’d rather see that than his feud with the Robbies continue. In reality, I just rather see a wrestler who can really go like, oh, I don’t know, A.J. Styles, Kazarian, Daniels, Kid Kash, or Zema Ion just to name a few.

3 -- JEFF HARDY vs. ROB VAN DAM

Hardy tried to keep RVD grounded with a headlock, but he broke out of with and countered with a roll up on Hardy using his legs for a two count. Hardy sent RVD to the outside with a kick and followed up a flying clothesline to outside from the ring apron. Back in the ring, Hardy caught RVD with a pin attempt for a two count after Van Dam did the splits to go under Hardy after an Irish whip. After an exchange of offense, Hardy hit the Whisper in the Wind for another two count. RVD came back with a chinbreaker, a kick, and the Rolling Thunder.

As the wrestlers sold the effects of the move, Roode made his was out the ring. Once they got back up Hardy went for another Irish whip, which RVD reversed. When Hardy hit the ropes, the referee had to take a dive to avoid being hit. Roode took advantage of the situation and hit Hardy with the belt. RVD followed up with a kick to Hardy's face for the win.

WINNER: Rob Van Dam via pinfall at 4:36. Disappointing match from these two. They were only given so much time so I can’t come down too hard on them, but I expected more from an RVD and Hardy match.

4 -- TNA Tag Team champions MAGNUS & SAMOA JOE & A.J. STYLES vs. KURT ANGLE & KAZARIAN & DANIELS

Styles and Angle started the match with Styles getting a dropkick in. As Kurt was about to gain the offensive edge, Daniels tried to take advantage of a downed Styles, but Angle would have none of it and pushed Daniels down to the mat. Styles tagged in Joe, who in turn exchanged a tag with Magnus to hit some double-team offense on Angle. Magnus tagged in Styles, who proceeded to clear house until the numbers game caught up to him. Joe stepped in and sent Daniels to out for Magnus to beat on for a bit until he was ready to catch with a suicide elbow through the ropes to the outside.

Styles tried to go to the outside, but was stopped by Angle, who caught him in an anklelock. It looked like Angle had the win until Kazarian, much to the bewilderment of Angle, tagged himself in. Magnus and Joe took care of Angle and Daniels, eventually allowing Styles the opportunity to hit Kazarian with the Styles Clash for the win.

WINNERS: Magnus, Samoa Joe, and A.J. Styles via pinfall at 4:25. That was enjoyable for what it was. Another match with a ton star power relegated to perform in under five minutes. Storyline-wise, it wouldn’t make sense to have it main-event the show, but from an in-ring perspective, I would have loved to have seen these two teams go for at least 15 minutes.

5 -- TNA World Heavyweight champion BOBBY ROODE vs. MR. ANDERSON -- No DQ match

Before Roode could get to the ring, Anderson hopped out to ringside to beat on Roode. Roode came back with a Russian leg sweep into ring apron, but a failed piledriver attempt led to Anderson slingshotting Roode into the ringpost, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge as the show cut to commercial break.

As the show came back from the break, Anderson approached a downed Roode, who threw the referee into Anderson to low blow him, even though it was already a No DQ match. Roode beat on Anderson for a little bit on the outside of the ring before bringing him back in the ring for a suplex and a knee drop for a two count.

Roode brought in a steel chair and wedged it in-between the ropes in the corner. He tried to throw Anderson into it, but he countered and threw Roode head-first into the chair. Anderson was able to capitalize with a series of strikes, a swinging neckbreaker, and a spinning wheel kick for a two count. Anderson attempted another Pittsburgh Plunge, but Roode countered with a Double R spinebuster. Hardy came out to attack Roode, but Anderson took out his frustration on Hardy with the Mic Check. Roode capitalized on the distraction and hit Anderson with a chair and a Fishermen Suplex for the win.

WINNER: Robert Roode via pinfall at 11:04. A worthy television main event, and one of Anderson’s better matches in recent memory. Roode played up his heel tendencies and delivered in the ring as well. Honestly, I would have rather see these two go at Sacrifice, more so than RVD and Roode. Not that I don’t think RVD and Roode can’t produce a good match, but I’ve just soured on RVD pretty much since his TNA run began.

[Arcademan]

WWE Smackdown Results: 5-4-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Parks' complete report). Yeah, this is condensed here too...otherwise, I'd copy the whole thing and not only would it be too long to post here, you'd have no reason to check out said link, so there!

1 – SHEAMUS vs. DANIEL BRYAN

This is apparently a non-title match. Fans were hot early on, but from the way things looked, it was the audio sweetener rather than the actual crowd in the arena. Bryan quickly started working over the left arm of Sheamus, continuing the assault from Extreme Rules. After Sheamus broke out of a submission move, Bryan gave Sheamus a European uppercut. Sheamus came back with forearms to the back and neck area. Running shoulder to the gut, then a running knee-lift. Bryan was clotheslined over the top and to the floor. Sheamus went to go after him, but the referee stopped him. On the opposite side of the ring, a man in a suit climbed the top rope and came splashing down onto Sheamus. It was Ricardo Rodriguez, followed soon after by Alberto Del Rio.

WINNER: Sheamus, via disqualification, at 2:49. Disappointing ending, but they had to transition from Sheamus vs. Bryan to Sheamus vs. Del Rio.

After Del Rio and Rodriguez’s attack, Bryan hooked in the Yes Lock. After referees helped Sheamus out of the ring, Bryan was shown to be in a heated discussion with Alberto Del Rio. Bryan was offended that Del Rio cost him the match. Sheamus was angrily holding his arm in the aisle as they went to break.

2 – KOFI KINGSTON & R-TRUTH vs. HUNICO & CAMACHO

Before the match could begin, AW accompanied Rosa Mendes, Epico, and Primo onto the stage. Truth danced with Little Jimmy until Hunico “slapped” Jimmy. Truth took offense to this. Unlike what I wrote a few weeks ago, it appears that THIS is in fact Camacho’s Smackdown in-ring debut. Michael Cole said AW stands for “All World,” the name of AW’s management team. Kingston was sent to the outside, where he was run over by Camacho. Back into the ring, Hunico dove onto Kingston for a near-fall at 1:27. Camacho tagged in and landed a nice back suplex. Standing leg-drop found the mark for a two-count at 2:10. Hunico tagged in and gave Kingston “two feet to the mush,” as Booker called it. Kofi fought out of the heel corner and landed a unique arm-drag on Hunico. Monkey-flip by Kofi, who then made the tag at 3:23. Camacho tagged in and bumped around for Truth. The match began to break down with all four men getting involved. Truth ended up taking out Camacho with his finisher for the win.

WINNERS: Kingston and Truth, at 4:07. Nice little match there.

3 – “THE FUNKASAURUS” BRODUS CLAY vs. JACK SWAGGER

Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero both accompanied Swagger to the ring. Clay with a belly-to-belly take-down early on, but Swagger turned the tide by going after the knee of Clay. It didn’t last long though as Clay clotheslined Swagger down. Ziggler provided a distraction which allowed Swagger to tackle Clay. Clay recovered outside the ring. Ziggler tried to launch himself off the steps and onto Brodus, but Clay headbutted Ziggler in the chest in mid-air. Back in the ring, Swagger ran into Clay, who suplexed Swagger. He went for his splash, but Swagger rolled out of the ring. Clay just laughed and shouted “my bad.” Swagger, Ziggler, and Vickie just walked out.

WINNER: Clay, via count-out, at 1:43. Nobody is coming out of this feud looking particularly good.

- Damien Sandow came out for his match. “Hallelujah” played as Sandow’s theme and he was introduced as “the intellectual savior of the masses.” Bateman was already in the ring. Sandow cut a pre-show promo, holding the mic as if it were a fine glass of brandy. Sandow, in his robe and towel, chided the fans for their “irrelevant opinion,” when the chanted “what.” Sandow refused to engage the miscreant in the ring, Bateman. He couldn’t figure out the advantage of fighting an ignoramus like Bateman. He finished by saying, “thank you.” His music played and he walked to the back. Bateman got the mic and said five months ago on NXT, he got the opportunity to have a match on Smackdown. And he wants his match against someone, anyone. I can’t believe they even bothered to reference that NXT stipulation. So Ryback’s music played and he walked out.

4 – DERRICK BATEMAN vs. RYBACK

Bateman ran into a big kick from Ryback as light “Goldberg” chants were heard. Ryback pressed Bateman over his head, then put him on his shoulders and gave him a jaw-breaker. Clothesline, then his finisher for the win.

WINNER: Ryback, at 1:12. Ryback’s winning ways continue against a slight step up in competition.

5 – KANE & CODY RHODES vs. THE BIG SHOW & RANDY ORTON

Orton and Rhodes went at it to start, with Orton bettering Rhodes for the most part. Tag to Big Show at 1:05, and he slapped Rhodes across the chest. I’m sure Cody is looking forward to not having to take hard chops to the chest every night when that feud is over with. Bodyslam by Show and a tag again to Orton. Standing dropkick, but not as pretty as his used to be. Kane was able to tag in and he took the fight to Orton in a neutral corner. Just over 3:00 in, Show tagged in and took out Rhodes, then turned his attention to the legal man, Kane. Show whipped Kane into the ropes but put his head down too soon and Kane DDT’d him. Both men were down at 3:53 when they went to break.

Back at 7:24 with Show off his feet and Rhdoes putting the boots to him. The crowd was chanting for Big Show as Kane tagged in to work him over some more. Low dropkick for two at 8:18. Show got back to a vertical base and suplexed Kane. Both men tagged their partners at 9:18. Orton set up for his vintage DDT, but Kane punched Orton. This allowed Rhodes to make the tag, but Orton caught Kane coming in and gave him the DDT. Kane countered an RKO and pushed him away – Rhodes was right there to low bridge Orton out of the ring. Orton made another comeback after Rhodes tagged in, but Rhodes cut it off with a dropkick. Rhodes and Kane seemed to work well together as a team. Orton worked out of a rest hold but Cody went for Cross Rhodes. Orton countered and back-dropped Cody. Show tagged in and cleaned house. The match broke down with Orton giving Kane an RKO. Disaster kick attempt was met with a chop to the chest by Show, then the WMD.

WINNERS: Orton and Show, at 14:15. Pretty good match, all things considered. The usual “heels dominate, faces win” trade-off.

6 – LAYLA vs. NATALYA

No entrance once again for Nattie. Layla reversed some mat-work by Natalya, who seemed bemused by this development. Wrist-lock take-over, but Layla went with the headscissors. They went to a stale-mate and both were on their feet again. Hard right hand by Natalya took Layla down. Natalya was back to playing the heel here. Twisting clothesline by Natalya for two. Abdominal stretch was next, but Layla elbowed out quickly. Layla rolled through a hip-toss for a one-count. Lay-out from out of nowhere for the win.

WINNER: Layla, at 1:58. This was like the good first two minutes of an extended match. These two gelled pretty well.

7 – DANIEL BRYAN vs. SHEAMUS

Bryan was in the ring upon break. Sheamus had his shoulder bandaged for this match. Booker T. criticized the decision for Sheamus to take this match given his condition. Hard shot to the kisser by Sheamus put Bryan on his butt. Del Rio on commentary called Sheamus an “Irish peasant.” Sheamus backed Bryan into the corner and elbowed hi in the side of the head several times. Bryan took the advantage with kicks to the shoulder of Sheamus. Bryan used the middle rope and worked Sheamus’ shoulder with it. Sheamus caught a charging Bryan with a one-armed back-breaker. That looked impressive. He couldn’t continue the momentum though and found himself on the apron. Bryan dropkicked Sheamus in the shoulder, sending the World Champ into the barricade. They took the final break of the show at 2:45.

Back at 6:51 of the match. Bryan tossed Sheamus into the ring and continued focusing his offense on the shoulder of Sheamus. Bryan took the shoulder of Sheamus and, outside the ring again, rammed him into the ring post. Diving headbutt to the shoulder for a two-count. Bryan at least gets to show off his knowledge of holds and maneuvers in a match of this nature. Sheamus turned the tide by sending Bryan shoulder-first into the ring post. Del Rio didn’t speak much after the break, choosing to focus on the match instead. Sheamus brought blow after blow down across the chest of Bryan. Suplex from the apron to the ring by Sheamus, but his pin only got a two-count at 11:18. Irish Curse back-breaker for another two-count. Knees to the throat and chest of Bryan. Bryan snuck in a shot and climbed to the top rope. Missile dropkick for two at 12:17. Bryan ran right into a clothesline that turned him inside-out. Sheamus signaled for the end, so del Rio abandoned the announce desk and climbed on the apron. Sheamus dodged a Yes Lock by throwing Bryan into Del Rio. If they collided it was only lightly, and Del Rio fell into the ring, then scampered out before Sheamus could get him. With Sheamus’ attention on Del Rio, Bryan again went to the top. He came down and was greeted by a Brogue Kick for the pin.

WINNER: Sheamus, at 13:32.

[Arcademan]

WWE RAW Results: 5-7-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report) and as always, the one you're about to read is condensed to in-ring and promos.

John Laurinaitis, as Caldwell puts it, bored the crowd for 8 minutes then you knew C.M. Punk was going to come out and defy him with his usual funny comments. His punishment? Match with Lord Tensai later.

1 -- IC champion CODY RHODES vs. BIG SHOW -- Intercontinental Title match

Show dismantled Rhodes early on, then Rhodes avoided a WMD and bailed from the ring. He demanded his title belt and tried to leave, but Show yanked him back into the ring. Rhodes then left through the other side of the ring and got himself counted out.

WINNER: Show via count-out at 1:52; Rhodes retained the IC Title. Just getting Show's re-match clause out of the way.

Post-match: A frustrated Show got on the mic and told Rhodes to come back out here. Rhodes disappeared to the back, though, and Eve's music played. Cole spoke from Vince McMahon's psyche that everyone wants to defy authority around here in WWE and people just need to respect authority in WWE. Eve entered the ring to light "Hoeski" chants before demanding Show apologize. Show claimed he was just horsing around. Eve cut him off and demanded an apology to everyone. Show gave a half-apology, but it wasn't good enough. Eve then noted to Show that outside of WWE, there really isn't a spot for a 7'0" 441-lb. freak. Show wiped his head to control his emotions before Eve demanded another apology. Show said very slowly, "I...apologize...for making fun of John Laurinaitis's voice." Show left the ring muttering to himself and Eve remained in the ring smiling at her work.

2 -- WWE tag champion KOFI KINGSTON (w/R-Truth) vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/Vickie Guerrero and Jack Swagger)

Once the bell sounded, they cut to a shot of AW talking to former tag champs Primo & Epico and Rosa watching the match backstage. Suddenly, Mason Ryan walked into the backstage shot and AW stopped his conversation to survey Ryan's potential services. For the finish of the match, chaos distracted the ref, allowing Swagger to yank down Kofi from the outside. Ziggler then nailed the Zig-Zag for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Ziggler at 2:40. Basic heel-cheats-to-win three-minute singles match. One of those matches that captures WWE needing an off-season after WrestleMania to come up with new ideas, as this benefited no one. It's how Ziggler was winning matches 2-3 years ago during his ascension and didn't help the tag champs fresh off a Tag Title victory.

Cena via satellite talking about how he's going to mess Johnny up at the PPV...and that he's the reason the Board of Directors didn't do anything because Cena told them not to. Good pop for Cena.

3 -- Divas champion LAYLA & KELLY KELLY vs. MAXINE & NATALYA

Back from break, the heel Divas were already in the ring and Beth Phoenix was on commentary. Before the match started, they cut to a WWE.com interview with Layla at Extreme Rules talking about her return and Divas Title victory. The match built to a hot tag to Layla for the pin and the win. On commentary, Phoenix complained about Layla doing nothing to deserve a title shot. After the match, Layla posed with the title belt while staring down at Beth ringside.

WINNERS: Layla & Kelly at 1:55. No sign of Kharma yet; it looks like Layla-Phoenix for the title is next.

4 -- CHRIS JERICHO & ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. World Hvt. champion SHEAMUS & RANDY ORTON

Del Rio teed off on Orton with kicks early on, then Orton regained control and tagged in Sheamus. Cole reset the show by rattling off un-newsworthy items during the first hour that he labeled newsworthy. Jericho then tagged in and Sheamus blasted away with ten forearm strikes to the chest that lit up Jericho's chest. Sheamus ran an intrusive Del Rio off the apron, but Jericho rammed Sheamus's injured left shoulder into the corner post. Del Rio followed with another attack ringside as they cut to break with the heels in control.

Back from break, Sheamus broke free of an attack by Jericho before elbowing out of the corner. Sheamus then reached over to Orton and made a hot tag. Del Rio also tagged in. Orton ran over Del Rio before delivering his second-rope DDT. Orton wanted the RKO, but Jericho ran in. Ricardo then distracted the ref, allowing Del Rio to pop Orton with a kick to the head for a two count. Del Rio tried to follow up with an arm snap, but Orton no-sold and kicked Del Rio, then Jericho. Orton couldn't make a tag, though, so Jericho went back on the attack and mixed in some trash-talking.

Del Rio entered the match and wanted his cross arm-breaker, but Orton escaped and kicked Del Rio before making a tag to Sheamus. Jericho also re-entered the match, so it was Sheamus vs. Jericho. Sheamus landed a high-knee lift before Jericho cut him off. Counters. Sheamus with the Irish Curse, but Del Rio broke up the pin. Orton then sprung on Del Rio with the RKO. Suddenly, Sheamus went for the Brogue Kick on Jericho, but Jericho ducked and Orton ate the kick. Sheamus sold disdain before Jericho capitalized with the Codebreaker to Sheamus for the pin and the win.

Post-match: Jericho grabbed the World Title and screamed at the announcers that he just pinned the World champ. On-stage, Del Rio and Jericho stood tall. Jericho, standing next to the #1 contender, said he should be World champ. Back in the ring, Sheamus sold concern over Orton, then tried to help Orton to his feet. Orton brushed him off, then suddenly dropped Sheamus with the RKO center-ring. Orton's music played and he posed in the ring.

WINNERS: Jericho & Del Rio at 13:03. A lot happening here. Is Jericho now in the title picture or just being a heel claiming he should be in the title picture after a tag victory pinning the champ? Also, it looks like WWE may have an issue for a Sheamus-Orton match on Smackdown to keep Orton in the title picture post-Kane feud...assuming Orton-Kane is over.

5 -- BRODUS CLAY vs. THE MIZ

Cole claimed this is the first-time these two have met in the ring, which ignores their house show matches a few months ago. Clay quickly cleared Miz to the outside, then the Funkettes laughed at Miz. This drew Clay to the outside for a game of cat and mouse. Back in the ring, Miz took control of the action as the Funkettes tried to shout encouragements from ringside.

Clay teased a comeback, but Miz cut him off. Clay then caught Miz off the top rope and dropped him to the mat. Clay followed with the big splash and Miz's legs remained suspended in the air to sell the finish for the one, two, three. Cue up the dancing. Cole then fed to a video package on WWE's B.A. STAR campaign.

WINNER: Clay at 4:13. Clay's first long-form match on TV didn't capture the audience here, as there isn't a sense of WWE building up something of note to where his undefeated streak would be in jeopardy. WWE has reinforced to the audience that Clay shows up, dances, has a one-minute squash, and dances again. That's it. The audience isn't ready to sit through a four-minute back-and-forth TV match.

The return of Paul Heyman, who is the legal representitive of Brock Lesnar, which by the way says he quit.

6 -- WWE champion C.M. PUNK vs. LORD TENSAI & DANIEL BRYAN -- handicap match

Back from break, the bell sounded to begin the handicap main event with no ring intros. Tensai delivered some quick offense before D-Bryan tagged in, making his first appearance two hours into the show two weeks before challenging for the WWE Title. Tensai then tagged in and dismantled Punk some more. Tensai continued to wear down Punk before tagging in Bryan, who missed with a top-rope diving headbutt.

Punk made a comeback on Bryan before calling for the end. Bryan escaped the GTS, though, and made a tag to Tensai, who clotheslined Punk. Tensai then took a corner kick and Punk climbed up top. Once again, outside interference caused a distraction, which allowed the heels to double-team Punk. Tensai then awkwardly two-hand slammed Punk before stalking him for The Claw. Tensai spewed the green mist, then did wild noises and movements before hand-pressing Punk to the mat for the pin and the win.

Post-match: Bryan celebrated with repeated "Yes!" chants on the floor despite not being involved in the finish. Tensai celebrated on the way out before Bryan landed "Yes!" kicks and stomps to Punk. Bryan slapped on the Yes! Lock and screamed at Punk before ref Charles Robinson got him to release the hold. Bryan re-applied, then Charles got him to release again. This felt like the end of a Q6 segment. Bryan continued to shout, "Yes!" as Cole gave a sign-off worthy of a segment in the middle of the show, stressing that wrestlers need to learn not to mess with Laurinaitis. Flat ending to an even flatter show that came across like a farce throughout.

WINNERS: Tensai & Bryan at 6:56. It is what it is - the audience doesn't care about the Tensai character, but WWE is intent on featuring him. Meanwhile, Punk-Bryan received the minimum exposure two weeks before a PPV.

[Arcademan]

FCW TV Results: 4-22-12 (posted on 5-9-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (link to Brummitt's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring result (note the old date of the show however it was posted this past week...)

1 - JASON JORDAN vs. DAMIEN SANDOW

Jason Jordan enters first. I thought Jason Jordan was part of a tag team with C.J. Parker? Apparently Mike Dalton has taken his place in that team and they now have a tag title shot tonight. Poor Jason.

Damien Sandow’s voice is then heard. He says, “Lights,” and the lights promptly dim. “Spotlight, please” and the spotlight opens on Sandow at the stage entrance with his robe, towel, and holding a mic. Sandow cuts a promo on his way to the ring in the same vein as those seen during his Smackdown vignettes. He basically accuses the crowd of incompetence and says he expects better of them and of Jordan.

As Sandow enters the ring, he appears to be engaging in an odd breathing technique. Regal informs the viewers that this is “Farmer Burns’s Stomach Flattener,” Sandow’s new conditioning technique. For those of you that are not familiar with 19th Century Wrestling (the Victorian Attitude Era), Burns is a Hall of Famer (PWHF rather than Vince McMahon’s HOF) and is a former American Heavyweight Champion.

Sandow removes his robe and is sporting some excellent hot pink trunks. Sandow and Jordan open by trading hammerlocks until Sandow goes for an early roll-up and grabs the tights, but it’s only good enough for two. They then trade headlock takedowns and head scissor escapes until Sandow sneaks out on to the ring apron.

He’s not out there for long, as Jordan tosses him back in and follows up with a back body drop, which gets him a two count. Jordan whips Sandow into the corner and hits a roll-up of his own which, again, gets him a two count. As the referee is distracted throwing a pad out of the ring, Sandow hits Jordan with an eye poke and gets in some offense culminating in a grounded double chickenwing, which he transitions into a Cattle Mutilation. Rather than staying in the submission, he goes for the pin, which Jordan kicks out of.

Sandow hits a clothesline to Jordan's back before briefly taking Jordan to the outside, where he carries on the assault. Back in the ring, Sandow celebrates with a cartwheel, which he follows up with a side Russian leg sweep. Sandow then misses a knee drop, giving Jordan the chance to get in some shots on Sandow. Jordan hits a couple of clotheslines punctuated by a suplex. Jordan then hits a running Blockbuster variation, but it only gets him a two count.

Sandow manages to pull Jordan into the turnbuckle before getting Jordan in a front facelock. Jordan reverses this into a back roll-up with a bridge, which gets him the win! Big upset there. Sandow sells shock in the middle of the ring.

WINNER: Jordan via pinfall at 7:27. Enjoyable match, overall. Jordan’s pretty green still but his look and athleticism could take him a long way. Sandow’s really great. His promo, look, pre-match exercise, and in-ring performance show why he has been called up to the main roster. Big surprise here with Jordan getting the win.

2 - CONOR O'BRIAN (w/Kenneth Cameron) vs. JIRO

For those of you that haven’t seen O’Brian or Cameron in FCW, they are part of a stable called The Ascension. The Ascension originally had five members with Epico, Ricardo Rodriguez (yes, that Ricardo Rodriguez), and Raquel Diaz (Eddie & Vickie Guerrero’s daughter) making up the rest of the group. However, I think the stable is now down to just O’Brian & Cameron. The Ascension seem to be FCW’s version of The Brood but without the blood.

Fortunately this week, Jiro is portrayed a little less stereotypically as he hasn’t brought his fan and karate kid headband to the ring. O’Brian & Cameron enter in their typical gothic manner.

The match starts with O’Brian stomping around the ring and no-selling Jiro strikes. O’Brian gets some offense on Jiro before roaring and throwing himself to the canvas. He hits Jiro with the big boot, which gets the three. O’Brian and Cameron celebrate with some roaring.

WINNER: O’Brian by pinfall in 1:02. Squash for the uber-intense Conor O’Brian. On the intensity scale, he’s half-way between Gunner & Ryback.

3 - BRAY WYATT (w/Eli Cottonwood) vs. AIDEN ENGLISH

Aiden English is described by Russo as FCW’s resident thespian.

Wyatt, in a black vest top and baggy white pants, opens up proceedings by shaking English’s hand. Wyatt tosses English around the ring a bit before charging him in the corner. He pulls English’s limp body out of the corner and ballroom dances with him (this is happening), which he transitions into a swinging reverse STO. He then picks up English before throwing him in the air and punching him in the face. That’s a nasty-looking finisher and it’s good for the three.

WINNER: Wyatt by pinfall in 1:37. Squash debut for Bray Wyatt. It’s rare you say this in wrestling, but I’ve never seen a character like this before. I really hope they use Wyatt right because he’s been very compelling so far.

4 - FCW tag champions COREY GRAVES & JAKE CARTER vs. MIKE DALTON & C.J. PARKER - FCW Tag Title match

Parker and Dalton are in first as the announcers discuss their ability to gel as a tag team. A.W. (Abraham Washington) then appears, using the same gimmick he is using in WWE as a Superstar agent. He introduces two of his clients, “Your girlfriend’s favorite tag team,” the FCW tag champs Jake “The Great” Carter & Corey “Chicks Dig” Graves. Regal brings up a story of how Carter and Graves are banned from Disney for life after going on a rampage that involved the girls that play Pocahontas. He said Walt would be spinning in his fridge. I love William Regal. He then compares the two to Keith Moon and Keith Richards.

The match begins with Parker and Carter. Carter starts on top and hits a nice looking clothesline before doing some Rick Martel-esque posing. This is enough for Parker to blindside Carter. Carter then gets in some offense of his own including a hip toss and a scoop slam. Graves is tagged in and receives a monkey flip from Parker and a cross-body from Dalton. Good sequence there as the tag was made mid-monkey flip.

Graves gets the tag to Carter, who beats down Dalton while Regal recounts his nights out with Graves and Carter. Carter, for those of you that don’t know, is Vader’s son. Regal notes how Vader had Carter on a conditioning regime at five-years-old. Carter tags in Graves and they apply a double top wristlock to Dalton, who flips backwards and reverses it into a double Northern Lights suplex, which is enough for him to get a tag. C.J. Parker comes in and cleans house before sending both men to the outside.

Parker and Dalton follow this up by hitting a tandem cross-body and suicide dive respectively. All four men are down on the outside going to break. The show comes back to action with Parker and Carter in the ring. Graves gets the blind tag in and hits a running knee to Parker’s ribs. Graves tags Carter back in and they hit a double atomic drop. Regal mocks Russo for using the phrase “Rebel Rousers” to describe Graves & Carter. Suplex by Carter on Parker, which he follows up with an abdominal stretch. Graves pulls Carter’s hand while out of the ref’s view to aggravate the stretch.

Carter tags in Graves, who applies an abdominal stretch of his own to Parker. Carter tries the same trick as Graves, but is caught by the ref, which gives Parker time to break the hold. Carter applies a grounded abdominal stretch variation, but Parker manages to break out. Carter tags Graves back in and hits a running splash to the corner before leaving the ring. Parker tries to fight out, but Carter tags in to stop him. Carter attempts another running frog splash, but Parker gets his knees up.

Parker gets close to tagging Dalton, but the champs pull him back. However, Parker manages to send Carter over the ropes and gets the tag to Dalton before Graves can stop him. Dalton unloads some offense on Graves, hitting a running elbow followed by a huracanrana and a pin attempt, which is broken up by Carter. AW then distracts the ref, which allows Corey Graves to use the cane on Dalton which is enough for the three.

WINNERS: Graves & Carter by pinfall in 11:46 to retain the FCW Tag Titles. Graves & Carter retain the FCW Tag Titles. Solid TV tag team main event with the heel team of Graves & Carter in control for the majority of the match. Out of the challengers, Dalton is the more accomplished of the two, but they both have a long way to go before they make it to the big-time. Carter & Graves are a team with a good chemistry and character. They are by no means a great tag team yet, but they would be a positive addition to the WWE’s tag team ranks when they’ve had a bit more time to gel.

[Arcademan]

WWE NXT Results: 5-10-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to James's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 - TAMINA SNUKA vs. MAXINE (w/Johnny Curtis)

Curtis is on commentary. He says that he doubts that Maxine has actually changed. Curtis is acting a bit weird, but not in his usually creepy way. Maxine fooled Snuka to take control of the match. Maxine with a hard full nelson that looks very painful. Maxine locks on her reverse Dragon Sleeper and Snuka has to put her into the turnbuckle to escape. Snuka with a comeback. Samoan Drop and the Superfly Splash, but Maxine rolls out of the way and Snuka eats canvas. Maxine with a Dragon Sleeper on the mat, and Snuka taps.

WINNER: Maxine via submission in 3:45. Fun match. I like that Maxine continues to rely on submission holds, as it gives her a big differentiating factor as a Diva. Recently on Twitter, she put up a cryptic message about having a great superstructure, but lacking foundation. If I had a guess, that was feedback from someone in Developmental telling her that she has everything it takes to be a top Diva, but her fundamental wrestling skills need work - that would be a fair assessment. Maxine is an incredibly talented person, but she does need some tweaking on the in-ring to complete the package. Her ring stories are decent enough, it's just the general execution which is, at times, inexperienced.

2 - YOSHI TATSU vs. JTG (w/Alicia Fox)

Early back-and-forth between the two. JTG goes on sustained offense. Tatsu's got a bad nosebleed. Tatsu makes a comback with chops then kicks. A Shining Wizard gets a nearfall. Tatsu calls for the end, but JTG ducks. JTG nearly falls over backwards, recovers, and gets in his finisher for the win.

WINNER: JTG in 3:45. JTG has done a total turnaround on his in-ring style. Regular readers will know that I've frequently criticized him for struggling with sustained offense. While this was a short match, it was clear that JTG has cleaned out the playbook and rebuilt his style from the ground up. Kudos to an experienced wrestler for being willing to make the needed changes. I am looking forward to seeing JTG in a longer match and see how this new style works in that scenario.

3 - TYSON KIDD & PERCY WATSON vs. MICHAEL MCGILLICUTTY & JOHNNY CURTIS - Tag Team match

There is some brilliant wrestling between McGillicutty and Kidd to start the match. Back-and-forth with Watson and Curtis and McGillicutty, then Kidd tags in and lands a big dive over the ropes to fire up the crowd. He stands on the barricade to get the crowd excited as they cut to break.

Out of the break, Kidd is controlling McGillicutty. Curtis messes with the ropes when Kidd looks for a springboard move, and Curtis and McGillicutty are able to isolate Kidd for a stretch. Nasty tag team action as McGillicutty puts Kidd on the mat with a backslide, and Curtis hits Kidd with a top-rope leg drop for two. Kidd finally gets Watson in after some hard-fought separation, and Watson comes in at fast-forward speed. The Highsman gets a nearfall, but Curtis breaks it up. Kidd takes Curtis out of the equation. McGillicutty fights out of the Percycution, but misses a corner splash, letting Watson get the Percycution for the win.

WINNERS: Tyson Kidd and Percy Watson in 8:00. You know what makes NXT "must-see?" Tyson Kidd and Percy Watson in the ring! And, more and more, I'm putting Michael McGillicutty and Johnny Curtis's in-ring work on that list, too. I really enjoyed this match, and it's worth watching just for Kidd and Watson's work. Tyson Kidd is really connecting with the crowd, too, which has traditionally been a shortcoming for him.

[Arcademan]

WWE Superstars Results: 5-10-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to James's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 - EZEKIEL JACKSON vs. DREW MCINTYRE

McIntyre tries to outwit Jackson, but Jackson's power prevails. McIntyre turns it around by dodging a corner charge. Jackson with a chest bump as McIntyre comes off the second rope, and Jackson takes control. Jackson tries setting up the Torture Rack in the corner, but McIntyre gets a rope break, lands a big boot, and then hits the Future Shock DDT for the win.

WINNER: Drew McIntyre at 3:45. McIntyre held up his end of the match. They really limited the time, probably to minimize the exposure of Jackson's flaws, but it just made for a match that went straight to the end far too quickly. This was evidenced by the announcers wondering if Jackson was finished less than two minutes into the match. Someone was going to break a losing streak here, and better McIntyre than Jackson.

2 - ALICIA FOX vs. NATALYA

Natalya out-wrestles Fox as the crowd chants "USA!" They trade slaps to turn up the heat. Natalya dodges a boot in the corner and Fox gets hung up, giving Natalya the advantage. Fox transitions from a "Matrix dodge" into a leg scissors. Natalya surprises Fox with the Sharpshooter, and Fox taps out to give Natalya her first win in a long time.

WINNER: Natalya via submission in 4:15. It's good to see Natalya pick up a win, but it should have happened a long time ago. I hope this leads somewhere like a Layla-Natalya match or a Beth Phoenix-Natalya match. I know the Divas are not a top item on the WWE agenda, but Divas like Beth Phoenix and Natalya can be used effectively.

3 - TYSON KIDD vs. HUNICO (w/Camacho)

Kidd and Hunico trade offense. The crowd chants "U-S-A!" to support Kidd, a Canadian. Hunico tries arm-dragging Kidd, but he's so close to the ropes that Kidd bounces off, and arm drags Hunico on the rebound. Sick. Camacho distracts Kidd to give Hunico an edge. Hunico with a slingshot senton. Camacho gets involved again, and Hunico with a facebuster suplex. Hunico dominates for a stretch. Hunico starts from a butterfly suplex position, but flips Kidd mid-air and turns it into a backbreaker.

Kidd gets a break with a running armdrag followed by a double clothesline. Kidd fires up with strong kicks. The crowd is going nuts for Kidd. Springboard elbow from Kidd, but Hunico kicks out at two-and-nine-tenths. Kidd tries the Sharpshooter, but Hunico escapes. Kidd with a suicide dive, Hunico dodges but Camacho eats it. Hunico capitalizes. Hunico tries the Swanton Bomb, but Kidd gets a knee up. Kidd comes back with a Sharpshooter, but Hunico gets to the ropes. Kidd misses the slingshot guillotine leg drop. He tries to slingshot back into the ring, but Hunico catches him with a brainbuster of sorts for the win.

WINNER: Hunico in 7:00. WWE needs to listen to the fantastic crowd reaction that Kidd gets despite having nearly no mic time. He wins over crowds with his in-ring abilities alone. Last year, Tyson Kidd had more in-ring time than any other Superstar if memory serves, and I believe that Kidd is on track to not only repeat that, but repeat it by a country mile. The only two wrestlers WWE has that are in Kidd's class in terms of in-ring capability are C.M. Punk and Daniel Bryan (Dolph Ziggler comes mighty close). Bryan and Punk have been able to make their way to the top with superior skills and I hope Kidd does, too.

4 - U.S. champion SANTINO MARELLA & ZACK RYDER vs. CURT HAWKINS & TYLER REKS - Tag Team Match

Marella and Reks to start. Reks shows off his power and acts like a bully. Marella tags in Ryder after an atomic drop makes him shriek like a kid. Hawkins comes in to take on old friend Ryder. Ryder and Hawkins with a fist pump to show respect. Double dropkick and Hawkins slaps Ryder, Ryder unleashes on Hawkins in response. Marella dominates Hawkins, then clears Reks from the ring and Ryder follows up.

Hawkins fights off Marella, and brings Reks in. Ryder gets the tag and takes it to Reks, who eats a Broski Boot, but Reks counters the Rough Ryder. Ryder can't catch a break and Reks and Hawkins work him over. Ryder finally makes the hot tag and Marella unloads on Hawkins. Hawkins tags in Reks and Marella doesn't lose a step. Hawkins breaks up a pin so Ryder clears him away with the Rough Ryder. Marella puts Reks into the turnbuckle with a drop toe hold, followed by the Cobra for the three count and the bell.

WINNERS: Santino Marella and Zack Ryder in 12:30. Good match, not a great match. I liked the initial exchanges between Ryder and Hawkins to play up their history.

[Arcademan]

TNA Impact Wrestling Results: 5-10-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Turner's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- VELVET SKY vs. BROOKE TESSMACHER

The match started with Sky taunting Tessmacher using her rear end, which Tenay called “the dancing cheeks,” ugh. Tessmacher hit Sky with a monkey flip, but was thrown to the mat for a two count when she failed a second attempt. Tessmacher came back with a dropkick, and gave Sky the Stink Face in the corner. Tessmacher missed an attack in the corner, which allowed Sky to get a two count after a bulldog.

Tessmacher tried to sneak in a pinfall with a small package, but only a got a two count. She then hit Sky with a facebuster for the pin.

WINNER: Brooke Tessmacher via pinfall at 3:42. The match was rather sloppy without Kim in there to pick up the slack for them.

Kim came out and hit Tessmacher with the Knockouts Title. She proceeded to hit her with Eat Defeat, and taunted her.

2 -- X Division champion AUSTIN ARIES vs. ZEMA ION -- X Division Title match

As the match started, Ion used his hair spray to groom himself, which led to Aries putting him in a headlock to rough up his hair. Aries and Ion exchanged some high-risk moves with Aries diving to the outside from the top rope, followed up by Ion flipping over the top rope to the outside.

The high-risk continued with Aries nailing Ion with a diving elbow through the ropes to the outside. He threw him back into the ring and hit a springboard elbow drop for a two count. Ion tried to counter with a huracanrana off the top rope, but Aries held on and countered with a dropkick. He hit another dropkick in the corner, and followed up with a brainbuster for the pin.

WINNER: Austin Aries via pinfall at 4:17 to retain the X Division Title. These two put together a good television match as Aries continues to be the recurring Thursday night highlight for this viewer. I will say though, that spill Ion took after the failed huracanrana attempt had me worried for a second.

Robbie E. came out with Robbie T. for his match against Devon. Before the match could start, Devon rushed to the ring and laid out both Robbie E. and Robbie T. The referee eventually rang the bell.

3 -- TNA Television Champion DEVON vs. ROBBIE E. (w/Robbie T.) - TV Title match

Devon continued to beat on Robbie E. and Robbie T. all over the ring and ringside. Devon hit a spinebuster on Robbie E. for the pin.

WINNER: Devon via pinfall at 1:13 to retain the TNA Television Title

After the match, Robbie T. snuck up on Devon and hit him powerslam, and handed the belt to Robbie E., who gloated with it for a little before leaving it in the ring with Devon.

4 -- TNA World Heavyweight champion BOBBY ROODE vs. ROB VAN DAM vs. MR. ANDERSON vs. JEFF HARDY - non-title fatal four-way match

To start the match, all three faces took turns stomping on Roode in the corner. Eventually Hardy and Anderson focused on each other, but the focus boiled back down to Roode. He was able to overcome the numbers game sending RVD and Anderson to the outside. Roode duked it out with Hardy for a bit, and dodged a Whisper in the Wind as the show went commercial break.

Roode and Hardy were still going at it as the show came back from the break. Hardy switched his attention to RVD and tried to hit him a dive off the ring apron to the outside, but it looked like he missed for a sick landing on the guardrail. In the ring Anderson nailed Roode with a swinging neckbreaker for a pin attempt, but it was broken up by RVD. Roode caught RVD with a spinebuster out of a Rolling Thunder attempt, but only got a two count. Hardy got back into the match with a Whisper in the Wind for a two count on RVD. Roode tried to capitalize, but was met with a bevy of finishers from the other wrestlers, with RVD getting the pin on Roode.

WINNER: Rob Van Dam via pinfall at 9:31.

RVD pulled out a ladder and sat at the top while doing the thumb pointing motion. A loud pyro blast came from the stage as bells began to ring. Abyss came out and warned his brother that he was getting to close to the fire, and then headed to the back as the show ended. That was a good, star-packed match to close out tonight’s Impact. The match followed the pace of the rest of the show, fast paced and all over the place. That being said, that pace did not necessarily lend itself to the appeal of tonight’s show. As much as I like Bully Ray’s TNA work, he was just on the screen too much tonight. There was some good wrestling on tonight’s show, but I can barely piece together what happened.

[Arcademan]

WWE Smackdown Results: 5-11-12 (next two posts)

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Parks' complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 – SHEAMUS & RANDY ORTON vs. CHRIS JERICHO & ALBERTO DEL RIO

Booker T, Michael Cole, and Josh Mathews were shown at ringside during Jericho’s entrance. No car for Del Rio, but Cole covered for him saying he didn’t want to soil his beautiful car in such a dirty city. Orton began the match, but at :43, slapped Sheamus on the shoulder to tag him in. The partners shared a few choice words before Sheamus went after Jericho. Sheamus made a hard tag himself to Orton. Jericho got the upper hand long enough to tag Del Rio. Orton missed a running knee-drop, and ADR immediately began setting up for the cross arm-breaker. A conventional tag was made to Sheamus after Orton broke out of a rest-hold. Sheamus hit the ropes, but Jericho pulled down the ropes and Sheamus fell to ringside. He kicked the injured shoulder of Sheamus for good measure. Back in the ring, Del Rio kicked the arm of Sheamus, then tagged Jericho. Jericho continued to brutalize the arm and shoulder. Booker rightfully countered Cole’s “25 percent chance to retain” claim by saying Daniel Bryan beat the odds a few months ago when people said he had little chance to retain. Orton set up for an RKO, but Jericho countered. Standing dropkick for two, broken up by Del Rio. Sheamus went after Del Rio and Jericho attacked Sheamus. The referee called for the bell, apparently a double disqualification.

WINNERS: Double disqualification, at 5:17. Fine build-up for the title match at Over the Limit, allowing fans to believe these guys will lose all control at the PPV and do whatever it takes to win since this match got so heated.

2 – AJ vs. KAITLYN

As AJ entered the ring, they showed AJ’s backstage segment with Kaitlyn last week. After showing a look of concern for her opponent, AJ tackled Kaitlyn at the bell and the two began to brawl. AJ dodged a clothesline and dropkicked Kaitlyn in the leg. Running knee to the face, then a cover for three.

WINNER: AJ, at :33. AJ’s path of rage continues, but it’s actually helping her win matches.

3 – DANIEL BRYAN vs. THE BIG SHOW

Fists to the gut of Bryan, then chops, then more punches. Bryan jumped off the second rope and kneed Show in the chest. But Show splashed Bryan in the corner. Bryan turned the tide with a dropkick to the knee. Bryan put Show in the Yes Lock and the bell rang before Show submitted. Turns out, John Laurinaitis had the hammer and he rang the bell, announcing Bryan as the winner via submission.

WINNER: Bryan, via submission, at 1:17. You could tell by the pace they were going early on that it would be short.

Laurinaitis entered the ring to go face-to-face with Show. Laurinaitis confronted Show about how Show made fun of him and his voice on Monday. Show backed off and said what he did wasn’t funny, but Laurinaitis kept demanding more. “No sir,” Show said when asked if what he did was funny. Laurinaitis delivered the money line Eve delivered on Raw about Show not having a place outside wrestling. Laurinaitis said Show better apologize this week on Raw…and it better be a good one.

4 – HEATH SLATER vs. RYBACK

Mathews: “Do you like Slater’s chances here?” Booker: “I like the chances of Slater getting the hell beat out of him.” Slater tried a neck-breaker, but Ryback just shrugged it off. He slammed his shoulder into Slater’s gut in the corner, then hit a unique powerslam. Hard running clothesline followed that. After his finisher, the pin was academic.

WINNER: Ryback, at 1:18. As long as he keeps bringing different moves to the table (like the powerslam), he should continue to do well in these squashes.

5 – ALEX RILEY vs. ANTONIO CESARO

Long was forced to introduce Cesaro with numerous superlatives. Aksana came to the ring with Cesaro. Headbutt, forearm, then a running boot in the corner by Cesaro. Cover got two. Dropkick attempt by Riley, but Cesaro held the ropes. Cesaro showed off his raw power with a suplex, then kicked Riley in the back. Riley was grounded with Cesaro grabbing the shoulders and keeping his arms behind him. “USA” chant by the fans. It never fails. Riley fired back with right hands and made a babyface comeback. Spinebuster, but Cesaro grabbed Riley’s ear to break it. Then he hit his finisher for the win.

WINNER: Cesaro, at 2:23. Interesting that WWE places Ryback and Cesaro’s virtual squashes back-to-back.

Continued in next post...

[Arcademan]

6 – ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. RANDY ORTON

Both men were in the ring out of break, with Orton’s entrance just finishing up. Orton hammered away on ADR in one corner, but Del Rio came back and neutralized Orton in the opposite corner. Orton with a slingshot that sent Del Rio throat-first under the bottom rope. The back-and-forth continued with Del Rio bringing Orton’s arm down over the top rope. Cole noted that Ricardo has been antsy and jumpy at ringside. Slam by Del Rio with Orton’s arm behind his back. Things broke down into a fist-fight, and Orton came out on the better side of that. Powerslam, but he ended up clutching the shoulder. Orton attempted his rope-assisted DDT, but he ended up on the apron and Del Rio hit an enziguiri for two at 3:36. Del Rio brought Orton’s arm across his knees. He positioned Orton for the cross arm-breaker, but Orton side-stepped it. Del Rio went to the top but Orton knocked him on his kiester. Orton then DDT’d Del Rio from that position. Rodriguez went to the top rope as Orton readied for the RKO. Rodriguez came flying off, and Orton RKO’d him in mid-air. The ref called for the bell.

WINNER: Orton, via disqualification, at 5:17. They’re blowing through two weeks of hype in one with the tag match, then singles matches amongst the four competitors.

Del Rio applied the cross arm-breaker after the match and once again refs ran down to break it up. Once they did, the replay of the mid-air RKO was shown, as was Del Rio’s post-match attack.

7 – R-TRUTH vs. JACK SWAGGER

Truth was accompanied by Kofi Kingston; Swagger had Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero with him. At Over the Limit, it’ll be Kofi & Truth vs. Swagger & Ziggler. Hip-toss by Truth after Swagger missed a corner charge. Jumping leg-drop after much dancing by Truth. AW, Rosa Mendes, Epico, Primo and Mason Ryan were all shown watching this match backstage. The announcers were unsure of Ryan’s role there. Wheelbarrow suplex by Swagger, then a forearm to the small of the back. Truth fought back with a DDT. Truth’s comeback went into motion at 2:05. Roll-up for two, then more thrusting. Lie Detector for two. Ziggler jumped into the ring and pulled Truth off the pin. Somehow, the ref missed this. Kingston defended his man on the outside. Coming back into the ring, Swagger was knocked out by a Kingston kick. Truth hit his finish for the win.

WINNER: Truth, at 3:19. With Ziggler’s win over Kingston on Raw, predictably, the one-on-one matches are even heading into the PPV. Of course, there’s still another week of hype left.

8 – SANTINO MARELLA & ZACK RYDER vs. DARREN YOUNG & TITUS O’NEIL

Marella and Ryder did an inset interview disagreeing on the name for their team. Santino couldn’t avoid O’Neil, who bodyslammed Marella. He peppered Young with rights, but Young gave Marella a neck-breaker. The heels were wearing matching aqua-colored tights. Hard European uppercut by O’Neil, then a quick tag to Young. Ryder made the hot tag and took care of Young and O’Neil. Broski Boot connected. Cover got two. O’Neil tripped Ryder as he ran the ropes, allowing Young to take over. Santino threatened use of the Cobra, but Titus bopped him. Ryder took out O’Neil and went back into the ring. Young stopped Ryder’s momentum, then O’Neil came in with a back-breaker and Young finished him with an elbow off the middle rope. “Ghetto Blaster!” shouted Booker.

WINNERS: Young and O’Neil, at 3:04. To make a sports analogy, Smackdown feels like it’s in rebuilding mode with all these new superstars.

9 – “FUNKASAURUS” BRODUS CLAY vs. HUNICO

To completely kill whatever fun aspect was left of Clay’s gimmick, Cole was shown at ringside doing the dance. Hunico came to the ring explaining what his name meant. He rode on the back of a bike driven by Camacho. Hunico and Camacho attacked before the bell, sending Clay’s dancers screaming. The referee finally gained control and sent Hunico to the opposite of corner. Clay jiggled and gyrated his way to his feet. The ref rang the bell and Hunico tried to attack. Clay no-sold a few shots and headbutted Hunico in the chest. Back body-drop on Hunico. Camacho was headbutted off the apron. Overhead throw by Clay. Big splash finished off Hunico.

WINNER: Clay, at :56. Another thing this show highlights is just how many non-wrestlers there seem to be around ringside these days that cause some sort of interference during matches.

10 – CHRIS JERICHO vs. SHEAMUS

I wonder when the last time was that Smackdown had ten matches on one show. They again showed the video from earlier of the opening tag match ending in a schmozz. Sheamus got the upper hand in the opening few seconds. Jericho got his boot up on a charge and hammered away on Sheamus. Jericho missed a dive in the corner and Sheamus proceeded to pound on his chest with forearms. Jericho was knocked off the apron and to ringside. They cut to break at 1:21 of the match.

Back at 4:16 and Sheamus still in control. On the apron, Sheamus tried to suplex Jericho out of the ring, to no avail. Jericho took a page out of his partner from earlier tonight’s book, bringing Sheamus’ arm down across the top rope. Jericho continued the beating outside the ring, pushing Sheamus shoulder-first into the steel post. In the ring, Jericho again focused on the taped-up arm and shoulder of the World Champion. Lionsault missed but he landed on his feet. That didn’t help as Sheamus got into an offensive groove. Jericho attempted the Walls of Jericho a few times, locking it in on the second try. He sat back and Sheamus reached desperately for the ropes. Sheamus reached the bottom rope to break. Jericho argued with the ref and was then back-dropped to ringside. Alberto Del Rio ran out and tossed Jericho into the steps for the DQ.

WINNER: Jericho, via DQ, at 8:40.

Del Rio then entered the ring and applied the cross arm-breaker to Sheamus. Orton ran out to make the save, unloading on Del Rio with rights. Sheamus shoved Orton off to punish Del Rio himself. Orton was offended by this and the two began arguing. As they were, Jericho ran in, hit the Codebreaker on Del Rio, then ran back out while Orton and Sheamus just stood there. RKO for Del Rio, then Orton went to glare at Sheamus again. Del Rio got up and was put down with a Brogue Kick. Orton and Sheamus went face-to-face again to end the show.

[Arcademan]

WWE RAW Results: 5-14-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results and some of the jawwing.

- Triple H started the show, called Brock a quitter and was threatened by a lawsuit by Paul Heyman.

1 -- WWE champion C.M. PUNK & U.S. champion SANTINO vs. DANIEL BRYAN & IC champion CODY RHODES

Rhodes and Punk started the match-up, but Punk wanted a piece of Bryan. An odd vibe in the arena after the long opening segment and WWE quickly going to this match with a "unique" mix of wrestlers and sense that this should have been better-promoted and/or featured at the top of the second hour. Things got a little odder when Punk launched Bryan over the top rope to splash Rhodes. Punk then landed a suicide dive on the heels ringside. They set up a spot for Santino to deliver a suicide dive, but he got stuck in the ropes for a comedy spot. Punk tried to explain the move to his partner and Bryan stroked his beard before WWE cut to break. Very odd start.

Back from break, Santino and Rhodes were locked in a corner tussle. Rhodes then kicked Santino in the gut as Cole ranted on people tweeting for Punk. Bryan then tagged in and got the crowd involved with "Yes!" chants followed by a big corner dropkick to Santino. Bryan followed with continuous knee drops set to the tune of "Yes!" that the crowd followed along with. The heels continued to wear down Santino as Cole gave Bryan the kiss of death saying he could be the new WWE champion in six days at the PPV. Santino showed some life, so Bryan kicked him in the gut and tagged in Rhodes. Bryan re-entered and landed more kick strikes before taunting Punk. More tags by the heels.

Santino suddenly rolled underneath Rhodes and flew across the ring to tag in Punk, but fell short for a comedy spot. Punk shook his head. Santino then kicked away Rhodes and finally made a tag to Punk, who cleaned house. Punk tore up Rhodes while pointing to Bryan before calling for the end. Rhodes escaped the GTS, though, only to take a roundhouse kick to the head. Bryan decided to get involved, then high-tailed it out of the ring when Punk almost got him. Punk, distracted, nearly took Cross Rhodes, but Punk escaped. Rhodes then got spooked by Santino's Cobra and spun back into Punk, who delivered the GTS for the pin and the win.

Post-match: Bryan slowly backed away from the ring and stared down Punk from the entrance ramp. Punk celebrated in the ring and held his title belt high in the air while Bryan did the belt-around-the-waist motion.

WINNERS: Punk & Santino at 10:54.

2 -- BETH PHOENIX vs. ALICIA FOX

A. Fox was already in the ring back from break. Phoenix then came out not showing any effects of her ankle injury before the announcers plugged Phoenix vs. Divas champion Layla at the PPV on Sunday. A few moments in, Layla came out on-stage for a closer look at Phoenix dismantling Fox. Phoenix finished off Fox with the Glam Slam, then tried a post-match attack, but Layla stormed the ring to clear Phoenix to the outside.

WINNER: Phoenix at 1:20.

3 -- BIG SHOW vs. KANE

Show landed rapid-fire blows to the mid-section early on, then Kane came back with offense. Laurinaitis was then shown looking down texting. Cole said the man is busy running two shows and managing 100 Superstars on the roster. Cole, playing the heel announcer now, called Laurinaitis one of the best of all-time in Japan, trying to promote Big Johnny ahead of facing Cena at the PPV. The match spilled to the outside, where Show scored with a big spear. Show rolled Kane back into the ring, then Laurinaitis interrupted on the mic. He decided he wanted an apology now. Kane used the distraction to kind of shove down Show because he couldn't lift him up for a chokeslam. Kane with the cover for the win.

WINNER: Kane at 4:09.

- After the match, Big Show apologized to Johnny, he wished Show the best in his future endeavors. Johnny smiled as Show cried. He told Show, "You're fired." Show broke up crying in the ring.

4 -- BRODUS CLAY & WWE tag champions KOFI KINGSTON & R-TRUTH vs. THE MIZ & JACK SWAGGER & DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/Vickie Guerrero) -- six-man tag match

Clay cleared the heels to the outside, then stood tall in the ring as WWE cut to break one minute into the match.

Back live, Vickie was screaming and Dolph was working a headlock on R-Truth. WWE suddenly cut to the skybox to show A.W., Mason Ryan, Primo, Epico, and Rosa Mendes watching the action. Cole said A.W. is closing in on a deal with Mason Ryan. So, he's wining and dining him...at a WWE show. WWE cut back to the ring to show the heels working on Truth before cutting back to an over-the-shoulder shot of A.W.'s stable watching in the skybox. Back in the ring, Kingston tagged into the match. He dropped Miz with the STO, then the action broke down. Dolph ran into The Headbutt, then Kofi dropped Miz with Trouble in Paradise. Clay followed with the Big Splash on Miz for the pin and the win. After the match, Clay brought four Little Jimmys into the ring to dance with everyone.

WINNERS: Team Clay at 6:58. Miz is heading off to film "The Marine 3" next month, so he's just being used to fill a spot and build Clay's resume.

5 -- RANDY ORTON vs. CHRIS JERICHO

Cole said Alberto Del Rio is not here on Raw, but he will have some comments on the four-way title match on Smackdown. So, apparently that's the big hook for Friday's Smackdown. Orton quickly took control of the match, then cleared Jericho to the outside and stood tall in the ring. Once again, WWE cut to break 1:00 into the match.

Back at 4:15, Jericho was working a headlock on Orton in the ring. They cut to a shot of Jericho cheating to take control of the match during the break. Meanwhile, Sheamus jabbed Cole on commentary and said he hopes WWE pays Lawler well to put up with Cole. Back in the ring, Jericho cut off Orton's comeback, but Orton got his knees up on a Lionsault attempt. Orton then ran over Jericho with clotheslines before delivering a powerslam. Orton locked eyes with Sheamus, then wanted a second-rope DDT, but Jericho back-dropped him over the top rope to the floor right in front of the announcers.

Ringside, Jericho talked trash to Sheamus, who stood up before Lawler calmed him down. Jericho then whipped Orton hard into Sheamus. Jericho leaned on the ring apron to admire his work, but then Orton took control back in the ring. Orton was ready to deliver the RKO to Jericho, but Sheamus dragged Jericho to the outside and delivered a hard clothesline, his temper flaring up. The result was Orton was DQ'ed because of Sheamus's outside interference.

Post-match: Jericho ran away as Sheamus tried to chase him down. Orton then chased down Sheamus ringside and spun him around. Sheamus told him not to touch him, and Orton shouted back, "That was my W!" Sheamus said he doesn't care about Orton winning a match. Orton then told Sheamus to come into the ring and settle it. "You feeling lucky?" Sheamus asked. In the ring, Orton and Sheamus circled each other before referees stormed the ring to keep them separated.

WINNER: Jericho via DQ at 8:42. Oh, how much more Orton-Jericho could have been. The finish was predictable WWE booking, but Orton-Sheamus feels like the only feud between full-time wrestlers with some juice.

- The final segment was the face-off between John Laurinaitis and John Cena. Johnny was so assurred of stacking the deck against Cena in the PPV...oh wait...not going to happen. It must be a one-on-one match, no special referees and if any WWE Superstar interferes, they're fired and if Johnny Boy loses, he's fired.

Prediction: Big Show was fired and is no longer a WWE Superstar. He helps Laurinaitis beat Cena and gets his job back.

[Arcademan]

WWE NXT Results: 5-16-12

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to James's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 - PERCY WATSON vs. JOHNNY CURTIS

William Regal says that if he were to wrestle Curtis, he would make sure Curtis had a shower first. Watson gets control of the match with his speed. Curtis ambushes Watson through the ropes and starts a power-based offensive streak. Regal says that the "MVP" of NXT: Redemption has been Maxine, because she has made the biggest impact on the show. Watson makes a comeback with double dropkicks and a throw. The Highsman draws a near fall. Curtis slips out of the Perscution and counters with a brainbuster for the win.

WINNER: Johnny Curtis in 4:45. I enjoy this pairing, and I would have enjoyed a longer match. Regal's comments regarding Maxine were spot-on; she has carried this show along with William Regal.

2 - GREAT KHALI & EZEKIEL JACKSON vs. TYLER REKS & CURT HAWKINS - Tag Team Match

Khali and Hawkins start the match, with Hawkins eating Khali's offense. Jackson tags in and Hawkins scrambles to tag Reks in. Reks has a spot of offense, but makes the mistake of mouthing off to Jackson. Meanwhile, Regal reminds viewers of when he led a stable with Jackson and Kozlov.

Reks and Hawkins isolate Jackson. Jackson finally brings in Khali, who single-handedly chumps both Reks and Hawkins. Khali then hits Reks with the Punjabi Plunge for the win.

WINNERS: Great Khali & Ezekiel Jackson in 6:00. If they ever put Ezekiel Jackson or Great Khali on NXT again, I'm going to cry. This show has been blissfully isolated from this kind of nonsense, and now it isn't. If I say anything else, I'll start sounding like Charles Cress, the Torch's Alphabet Soup specialist - read his articles, they are good for the soul - and draw up a Khali Inner Monologue.

3 - KAITLYN vs. MAXINE

Maxine has a new ring outfit - pleather plants and a shiny bra-like top, which is definitely a change from her usual nightie and fishnets. I think Kaitlyn has yet another new song, too. Kaitlyn with a takedown and a jackknife to start. Maxine looks for a quick tap out with the Reverse Dragon sleeper, but Kaitlyn fights out. Kaitlyn wants a delayed vertical suplex, but Maxine fights out. Maxine tricks Kaitlyn, then goes on the attack with malice.

Camel Clutch from Maxine looks like it hurts. Kaitlyn puts Maxine's face into the turnbuckle and gets in some offense. Kaitlyn is bleeding from the mouth. Maxine wants a headlock of sorts and transitions to a neckbreaker. Maxine with a standing Camel Clutch but Kaitlyn escapes, reverses it into a full nelson sit out slam, and then locks on a full nelson with her legs. Maxine taps.

WINNER: Kaitlyn in 6:00. These two always work well together, but I feel like Maxine's in-ring work has gotten a lot tighter in this match than I've ever seen it. Nice match and I like the emphasis on submissions in a Divas match.

4 - TYSON KIDD vs. DERRICK BATEMAN vs. MICHAEL MCGILICUTTY - Triple Threat Match

McGillicutty ducks out of the ring early and tells Kidd and Bateman to go at it instead. Nice technical wrestling between Kidd and Bateman. They show some good sportsmanship, and McGillicutty mocks them. Kidd and Bateman leave the ring and surround McGillicutty and double team him. The team doesn't survive as Bateman tries a schoolboy on Kidd from behind. McGillicutty keeps Bateman out of the ring. Bateman re-enters and Kidd tricks Bateman into creaming McGillicutty.

Kidd and McGillicutty are going back-and-forth and Bateman struggles to get into the match. Bateman finally gets a chance to unload on McGillicutty. Now Kidd is involved. Bateman with some offense on Kidd but McGillicutty gets into it. Bateman with a suplex to a bridge, but Kidd hits Bateman with a springboard elbow for a nearfall, then he rolls over the McGillicutty for a nearfall. Lots of pin attempts and break-ups. Regal gives Bateman some praise despite cutting him down earlier in the match.

McGillicutty fights out of Bateman's superplex attempt; Kidd charges Bateman, but Bateman sends him flying head-first into McGillicutty, who goes crashing to ringside from the top rope. Kidd slips by Bateman and locks in the Sharpshooter. Bateman almost gets a rope break, but Kidd turns the Sharpshooter into the Dungeon Lock. Bateman taps just before McGillicutty is able to break it up.

WINNER: Tyson Kidd in 14:00. This was a bit slow at the beginning, as Bateman spent most of his time on the outside recovering, but the second half picked up nicely. Good example of what a Triple Threat match can be.

Final Reax: Nearly 31 minutes of wrestling on a 45-minute show. That's how it's done folks