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Advice Column: Ask Away~ ^^

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cblossom:
I think its good if u chose what u think is best for u. I know that ur getting advise to a girl how is going into 8th grade soon  but I would still pick what is best for u and what u want to pick.
Thats the only thing that I came up with I hope that the advice that other ppl give u and I works if u take it.

Miss Jenni-Maie:
New problem!
See, my brother, Mark, who is now 19, is a Schizophrenic. He goes through insane mood swins, and he says he even hears voices sometimes. Because of all this, he's kind of gone into a loner type personality where he doesn't want to be around anyone because he's afraid of what people might think of him. He even dropped out of Highschool! He says he's going to try and change..he even took over my moms job at the church (custodian), but even then he's struggling.
But my question isn't about him. He's been like this for a while now....at least  4 or 5 years.
Everyone is always telling me how much I'm like Mark personality wise. And I'm starting to believe it. My mood swings are terrible! I'll retaliate at anybody! Hell, today I called my Math teacher a nazi just because he asked me to turn off my music! My insecurities are resurfacing, I don't want to be around people anymore (hence my loner talk the past few days) because either I'm thinking about how big I am, how mucked up my face is, or how frizzy my hair is... Usually I never cared about that, but now it's just overwhelming me. I'm "suffering" from malnutrition because I was starving myself and all I was drinking was diet shakes.
Sure, Mark wasn't going on about how fat he was (he's actually REALLY skinny!) But he was always talking about how insecure he was. I'm just more quiet about it.
I never want to get up in the morning (which is why I'm always late)....cause, believe it or not, I'm actualy afraid to go to school. I wish I was taught at home...less social expectations, ya know? I have panic attacks and I'll come up with some fake illness so I don't have to go....it just scares me, and I don't exactly have a comrehendable explanation as to why.
Then there's the drugs, and the drinking.... I haven't smoked pot in a couple of months, but (I think I remember telling some people about this) I caved with the drinking after 5 months of being sober about 2 or 3 weeks ago. It's tempting to just give up completely and just sit in the corner of my bedroom in a cloud of smoke and booze.
Ahh, but just when I thought I couldn't go anymore nuts...well what's this? Whispers in my head? Oh yes. Started about a week ago. At first I thought it was because I was sleep deprived, but then after getting a full nights sleep...I heard them again, except they were actually talking...course, they weren't comprehendable, but still. Voices! I think that's what is setting me off all the time. Because my so called "friends" are talking (and by that I mean, interrupting me whenever I try to say even the smallest thing), and then the "head bunch" are going nuts in my brain and it's stressing, so I'll just snap at whoever is around me. Or just walk off and wallow.
I haven't really told anybody about the voices thing. Even my mom doesn't know. Hell, she doesn't know about any of this (err...except when she caught me drinking that one time...but she didn't say anything about it). I want to tell her, but I see how she cries all the time about Mark and I don't want to add to it.
Say I'm overreacting, but I felt I had to get this out. And if anyone can help, I thank you in advance.
Sorry for rambling...

cblossom:
Hi Endoh Ill try too help I dont give the greatesst advice but Ill see how it goes....

If you need help telling your mom about this then you should ask your mom If you can talk to her when she isn't stressing out or crying and tell her whats going on. You should make sure your mom knows sooner or later because the later you tell her the worsser it will be :(. Just like this advice I don't think it went that good you could take this advice if you want or wait till somoeone else comes. I would wait. :keke:. :sweatdrop:

looney:
OK endoh here's some thing i know.
Your not schitzophrenic, what you have is depression
You mood is altering a chainreaction in your system that can go on for years at a time.
It's a good thing your admitting your problem because that's your first step.
I know i sound all proffesional , but i've seen and gone through with this so many times.
Next you have you tell your Mom like c. Blossom said.
Then you should try to have the friends you have surround you and give you support.
If your not willing to tell anyone then that's ok. All you have to do is be around them and feel secure
Even if you don't want to have anyone around. force your self to go out and mmet someone. The mall The park anywhere where thee are people. Little by little it will pass. Trust me. It's hard but if you need support. I'm here if that's any consilation.^_^

Miss Jenni-Maie:
Thanks, you two. It helps knowing there are some people that care.
I did tell my mom...er..kinda...my brother had another one of his episodes tonight and I told her that I was afraid I was going to turn out like him since some of the same things I feel are happening to me. She just said that it wouldn't, and kinda blew me off. Which I understand since I wasn't the one that was throwing rocks through the car windshield at the time.
I'll try again later when there isn't so much commotion.
As for the friends thing....you wouldn't believe how many times I've told them or at least tried to tell them what is wrong with me, and they completely snub me. Or they think I'm joking and just make cracks at it. I don't know if they're just trying that "laughter is the best medicine" crap but either way, it just makes me want to punch them in the face.
As for finding new friends...that's also a problem. Since my mom is at that, "oh my teenage daughter is at that age of sex and drugs and booze" stage. So she won't exactly let me go out very often....without a friend anyways, which is exactly what I'm trying to find!
Blah, maybe I'll be able to sort this through my head once I get some sort of sleep. It's been a long night (cause having to call the Crisis Hotline is always a joy!)
Well, I already knew I was depressed, haha. Actually I'm going to be put on anti-depressants real soon (then the only on in the family NOT on them will be my dad, haha)....
Thanks CBlossom and Looney for your advice....it means alot to me.
Cookies for you both!

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