Fan Work > CCS Fan Creations
Runaway
Moon:
It's very well done, Moezy-chan. I can't wait for more! ^_^
moezychan:
--- Quote from: suu_no_clover on April 29 2006, 10:15 am ---Kyaaa! S+S! :keke: Oooh. Syaoran in the shower. *drools* :XD: Whee. Syaoran-kun to the rescue. Will he make it in time? Or find her trapped in the clutches of this strange antagonist? Or worse.... *mutters sinister angsty thoughts to herself* O_o Oh dear. I'm rambling again. :sweatdrop:
Just one odd point - A seventh grader in high school? Japanese high schools don't start until 10th grade. ^_^;;
--- End quote ---
Oh gomen :sweatdrop: the Japanese school system is confusing to me. Do you have any ideas on Japanese middle school names? I'll change it if you can. Arigatou. :keke: And thanks for the compliment! And a little spoiler Show contentI will be making this a little angsty :wink:
--- Quote from: Moon Hime on April 29 2006, 10:18 am ---It's very well done, Moezy-chan. I can't wait for more! ^_^
--- End quote ---
Arigatou Moon-chan!
Arcademan:
Read you story and it's done extremely well. Great use of detail and storyline set-ups...great stuff.
Some side notes...as already noted elsewhere, high school and 7th grade doesn't go well. Also you should aviod personal comments during the story itself (like when you mentioned Touya going to Tokyo University contradicts the facts because it's YOUR fanfic) and similar notes should either be explained as part of the story itself or in the comments section here. It only detracts needlessly from the story.
A big plus is the fact you took time to give a summary of all the major characters at the start of the story. This helps set the scene where and when the story is taking place.
A great start to a great story. I look forward to the next installment however pace yourself and take your time and not rush it. As mentioned by others and by your Christmas story, you have great writing skills. Best of luck, Moezy-chan :)
moezychan:
--- Quote from: Arcademan on April 29 2006, 10:38 pm ---Read you story and it's done extremely well. Great use of detail and storyline set-ups...great stuff.
Some side notes...as already noted elsewhere, high school and 7th grade doesn't go well. Also you should aviod personal comments during the story itself (like when you mentioned Touya going to Tokyo University contradicts the facts because it's YOUR fanfic) and similar notes should either be explained as part of the story itself or in the comments section here. It only detracts needlessly from the story.
A big plus is the fact you took time to give a summary of all the major characters at the start of the story. This helps set the scene where and when the story is taking place.
A great start to a great story. I look forward to the next installment however pace yourself and take your time and not rush it. As mentioned by others and by your Christmas story, you have great writing skills. Best of luck, Moezy-chan :)
--- End quote ---
Thank you for the constructed criticism Arcademan. I'll make sure to add your points to the next chapter. And don't worry about me rushing it. I expect this story to have at least 20-25 chapters. It's going to be a long journey for our young cardcaptor. I also appreciate you reading the character summaries. Also thank you for the compliment. It's comments like that that give me the inspriation to continue writing.
Hikari B.:
It's looking good. ^_^ Nice with the suspense.
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