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monkey:
Funny Song

Weird Al Yankovich - Amish Paradise

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Cruesoe
It's as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise

monkey:
Weird Al Yankovic - Jerry Springer

It's been one week since we got to see
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the ****, and the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
Yesterday it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer

Holy cow, d'you see it last week?
Well, they had this one freak
Who sucker-punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl
Became a total free-for-all
And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee
Hey, see the stripper with the implants
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here come's Jerry's next guest
And it's a slugfest
'Cause it's her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniac is back on crack
It's like "When Animals Attack"
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes
Step on their toes, that's how it goes
They get so violent they have to sign a waiver

They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame
On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame
There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
They have a history of ripping off their shirts

It's been one week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still haven't got the blood off the wall
It's been three days since the bitter feud
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer

Guy Guest : Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister
Gal Guest : Oh? Well, which one?
Guy Guest : All of them
Gal Guest : Oh! Well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake!
Guy Guest : Yah? Well, well me too!
Gal Guest : Oh!
Guy Guest : And I've sleepin' with your dog Woofie!
(barking)
Gal Guest : Woofie, you b-tch!
Gal Guest : Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!
(baaahhing)
Guy Guest : That goat doesn't love you!

Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'
Jerry's the king of confrontation
He's a sensation
He puts the 'sin' in syndication
It's totally worthless, like a bad check
It's like a train wreck
Don't wanna stare but you can't look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin' higher everyday
If you've seen the show, well then you know
It's just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon
Comes in the room and then it's BOOM
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen

Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities
Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one

It's been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some loser's wife said she's still dating twenty guys
Three days since he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
Yesterday, it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger

monkey:
Weird Al Yankovic - The Saga Begins

A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the federation in
To maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That's where... we found... this boy

Oh,
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
He left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi, Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn't even old enough to shave
But he can use the Force, they say

Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen
Yeah, he's probably gonna marry her someday

Well, I know he built C-3PO
And I've heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it's true
So we made a wager or two
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy

We started singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi, Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy
Oh, the Council was impressed, of course
Could he bring balance, to the Force?
They interviewed the kid
All training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here"
"Just stick it in your pointy ear"
"I still will teach this boy"

He was singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi, Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

We caught a ride back to Naboo
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
I frankly would've liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn't long at all before
Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day
And in the end some Gunguns died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin'
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost
I guess I'll train this boy

And I was singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi, Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

We were singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Ruby Chan:
Here's another of my favourite songs....I always think of Syaoran from CCS when I hear it, because it sounds like what he might be thinking before he managed to finally admit that he loved Sakura to her face.

INVISIBLE - D-SIDE

(Invisible, invisible
Invisible, invisible)

What ya doin' tonight
I wish I could be
A fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Whose stealin' your dreams
Why can't I breathe
You in to my life
So tell me
What would it take
To make you see that I'm alive

[Chorus:]
If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
Wait, I already am

Saw your face in the crowd
I call out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read
What goes through your mind
Oh baby
Wish I could touch me
With the colours of your life

[Chorus]

I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through
If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine to night
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
If I was invisible
If I was invisible

Wait, I already am

bLuetopaz:
this is one of my favourites!

LUNA SEA - "I For You"

japanese romanji

Nee hontou wa daremo
Nee aisenai to iwarete
Kowagari no kimi to deai
Yatto sono imi ni kizuita

Kizutsuku tame ima futari
Deatta nara kanashisugiru yo

Kokoro kara kimi ni tsutaetai
Kitto tada hontou no kimi no sugata wo motomete

Mada bukiyou ni warau ne
Mada kanashimi ga niau kara

Kimi to deau tame dake ni
Sou umareta nara kaerareru kana...

Kokoro kara kimi ni tsutaetai
Kizutsukisugita dakedo mada maniau yo
Kokoro kara kimi wo aishiteru
Kimi ni furu itami wo nugutte agetai
Subete, I For You

Kokoro kara kimi ni tsutaetai
Kimi no egao itsumo mitsumeraretara
Kokoro kara kimi wo aishiteru
Kimi ni furu hikari wo atsumete agetai
Subete, I For You

english translation

You know, the truth is everyone
Tells me I can't love you
After seeing how afraid you were
I've finally realized the meaning of that

If the two of us met
Only to be hurt, that's too sad

From my heart, I want to tell you
I'm sure that I just want the real you

You still smile uneasily
It's because sadness still matches you

If I was born just so I could meet you
I wonder if I can change things...

From my heart, I want to tell you
Even if it's too painful, we can still make it in time
From my heart, I love you
I want to wipe up the pain that's falling on you
All of it; I For You

From my heart, I want to tell you
If only I could always gaze on your smiling face
From the heart, I love you
I want to collect the light that's falling on you
All of it; I For You
==============================================

lyrics from: http://www.lava.net/~raistlin/

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