Chapter 1: Far Away
(by Cherry tiger, added on 2006-01-24 05:22:17 AEST) [Discussion Topic]
I could only watch as Syaoran-kun took another blow. I could only watch as he staggered to regain himself as blood slowly covered his whole body. I could only watch as pain filled my heart.
Is it just pain though? Arrays of emotions that fill me continue to grow as I watched him fight over and over. What are these emotions? I don’t understand… I want to run, I want to scream. My body is urging me forward. What’s wrong with me? What’s going on?
Then I saw him stumble, gasping… and the next thing I knew he laid motionless on the ground.
And it was then those emotions inside of me exploded. It was then everything came back. I felt a veil that was over me lift, and I began to understand and everything that once confused me became clearer. The missing piece…
I was horrified.
“SYAORAN!”
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait…?
I ran towards him. Everything inside me wanted to be with him. I didn’t care that Fye-san and Kurogane-san were crying out warnings of danger. I didn’t care that the enemy was watching me with amusement. I didn’t care if I were going to die next…
I need to be with Syaoran.
And as I reached him, I fell upon my knees and scooped him into my arms. The feeling of his bloodied body scared me… How much of life was left? But this was him, this was Syaoran… and he’s dying… because of me…
“This can’t be happening… This can’t be happening…” Tears were choking me, I could barely breathe. “Syaoran…” Stop crying! I scolded myself. Stop crying! You have to tell him! He’s dying! He needs you! Stop crying!
I want to tell him. I want to tell him those words that I’ve always felt, that I’ve always wanted to say but had never gotten the courage before… and sadly forgotten. I want to tell him…
But I don’t want him to die…
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
You know, you know…
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore…
“Sa…kura…” I heard him gasp. I looked at him, and held him closer to me. Poor Syaoran… My poor Syaoran… What have I done to you?
“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed. “I didn’t mean to do this to you. I didn’t want this to happen…” The emotions in me were overwhelming, and as I spoke those words, they were pouring out like my tears. “I never meant to hurt you like this. I don’t want you to die! I love you, Syaoran!”
I heard laughter. I heard insults. I heard words that cut deep into my heart. It didn’t matter. I’ve said what I said… And subconsciously, I held his hand. And memories that were once so sweet fill me, only to hurt me even more.
My tears continued to rain down.
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand…
“Syaoran…” I cried. “I don’t want to forget you. I’m willing to take this pain but I can’t bear to forget you… after all you’ve done for me…” I was gripped by the fear that they’ll take me away again, that they’ll make me forget him. To forget him after all that he’s done for me… I’d rather die than…
“Hey…” I heard him whisper, struggling to breathe as he spoke the next few words. “Remember the place with the white birds?”
I couldn’t help but smile as memories of the first time I showed him that place filled my mind. I remembered being so happy. “Of course I remember. It was the first time I saw you smile…”
And then he smiled at me. That smile I tried so hard to let it shine when I was younger. That smile that would always make me happy. That smile that I grew to love.
That smile I wish I could see forever.
The tears won’t stop. Even as I smile, they continued to fall.
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
You know, you know…
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore…
His body became limper in my arms, and his eyes were slowly turning distant. “Syaoran?” More emotions swelled in my heart and I was practically screaming as I realized… “Syaoran, don’t do this! No, don’t go!”
His body became still. His breathing had weakened and his eyes began to close. “No! Syaoran, please! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry for hurting you! I’m so sorry for everything!”
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know…
Please! I begged in my mind, for anyone… anyone who could hear me. Be it God, the Dimensional Witch or any other Sorceress or Greater Being who could read my mind and grant my plea. Please don’t let him die! He doesn’t deserve this! He shouldn’t die… I love him! Don’t take him away from me after I finally managed to know how I feel! After I finally managed to understand!
There was laughter in the background. His breathing slowly became still. And I could only cry and cry as he took his last few breaths.
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
And before he closed his eyes, he looked at me one last time and whispered…
“I love you… Sakura…”
And that’s when I screamed. Something in me broke. Syaoran, the one who I truly love is dead. They took him away from me. They took him away…
I couldn’t contain the sadness. And the pain.
“SYAORAN!!”
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go…
Words cannot describe how I felt at that moment. I wanted to die. I wanted to scream even louder than I already was. I needed to blame someone. But in the end all I had were broken pieces of my heart…
And memories of the boy that I love.
They will never take my memories of you away from me, Syaoran. I owe you so much… Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me.
But why did you have to die?
I held his body even closer to me. “I’m so sorry…” I cried. “I’m so sorry…”
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go... |
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